UPJOKE
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Deleted Jokes

Yesterday I had a nightmare that my tiktok account was deleted.

For a second, I was really scared that I had a tiktok account.

I accidentally deleted an audiobook I was listening to

Now I’ll never hear the end of it

I wrote a haiku about admins and mods

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I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you that you need to be "saved" or else you'll "burn"

Stupid firemen

I deleted all the German contacts out of my phone...

now its Hans free

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

This comment has been overwritten and deleted forevermore by the user in response to the API changes June 2023.

Where do little jokes come from?

Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.

(I made this up myself, I’m really proud of it)

A physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer are all found guilty of treason and sentenced to death by guillotine.

# This comment deleted to protest Reddit's API change (to reduce the value of Reddit's data).

Please see [these](https://web.archive.org/web/20230609092523/https://old.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/144f6xm/apollo_will_close_down_on_june_30th_reddits/) [threads](https://web.archive.org/web/2...

I had a nightmare last night that my Tik Tok account was deleted

It was scary, because for a second I thought I had a Tik Tok account.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone."

***"It's Hans free"***

*Funniest joke at this years Fringe by Darren Walsh.*

**The rest of the top ten.**

2 -"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis

3 - "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

4 - "...

My mate just deleted his Facebook account

We will not see his likes again.

If Hillary Clinton won she would’ve been the first F president.

I didn’t say female because someone deleted the emale.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I accidentally deleted the manuscript of my book '1000 Ways to Cure an Itch'

It looks like I'll have to start from scratch

When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant I started crying.

Edit: [deleted]. Reposts on Reddit soon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just watched the deleted scenes from a porno

Turns out they do fix the washing machine after all!

My operating system just deleted half my files.

I knew I should’ve never installed ThanOS.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you piss off thousands of people on the internet all at once?

[deleted]

I logged in today to see if my reply got deleted.

It's still hanging on by a thread.

How do you know if someone deleted their Facebook?

They'll tell you.

If all reposts on r/Jokes were deleted,

then r/Jokes would be as long as this joke.

Elon Announces X will charge Users $1 A Year

So Elon Musk has announced that X will charge users $1 a year. Certain people are in an uproar. What's the big deal? I'm paying my ex $898 a month.

I do apologize for the terrible joke, but Elon handed us all puns on a silver platter.

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