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Defects Jokes

Given how my heart has several defects since birth, I'm considering a heart transplant.

But then again, I might have a change in heart with that decision.

What's the name of the Pokémon that causes birth defects?

Zikachu

Why do geologists have children with birth defects?

Because they practice relative dating!

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A soap factory had a problem.

They sometimes shipped empty boxes without the bar inside. This challenged their perceived quality with the buyers and distributors. Understanding how important these relationships were, the CEO of the company assembled his top people. They decided to hire an external engineering company to solve th...

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Medical science has come a long way.

There's a tribe in Africa whose exposure to chemical runoff in the water from local mines created birth defects. One out of every three children are born with no eyelids. Volunteer doctors created a procedure where they take the foreskin from new born males and create eyelids for those born without ...

I searched Reddit and this joke hasn't been posted.

USPS came out with a Donald Trump stamp. They were Yugely popular at first, but suddenly went out of circulation, because they wont stick to the envelopes.

This enraged the president, and he demanded a full investigation, blamed the democrats and JINA and the lame-stream media.


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A religious mother sees her young son masturbating

When the father gets home he sees that the mother is beyond consolation. 'Oh no what would God think of us for raising such an immoral child' she cries hysterically.

The father tells her 'Honey don't worry, let me deal with it, tomorrow I am gonna take our son on a road trip and we will have ...

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Donald Trump built a house of cards out of his Magic the Gathering collection.

It was a little house, but it had multiple floors, and was even sturdy enough for a sitting room on the second floor. Donald loved to go up there and draw in his coloring books. One day he thought something might be wrong with it, which frustrated him, since he had worked so hard on it. Angrily, he ...

I made a (hopefully) original joke!

In 2019, the army had been at war with another country. In order to keep their troops healthy, they needed to monitor the submarine that carried supplies to where the others were located.

But there was a small problem. Every so often, there would be a defect in the submarine's engine that wou...

A kid comes home from school and asks his dad a question.

The kid says, "Dad, today in Health class we learned that premature babies are at risk for having defects in their life, and Mom says I was born before I should have been. Does that make me premature?"

The dad laughs, and grips his son's shoulder, "Kiddo, you're not premature, you just surviv...

How did the angel get on top of the christmas tree?

So one year, Santa was having a bad time of it. The reindeer were threatening a strike, the elves had to recall 30% of their toys due to manufacturing defects, all in all, just a frustrating time.

So Santa stood up and made a very LOUD announcement.

"I am going to my study. I'm tak...

A newly hired operations manager spends a week with the outgoing operations manager in order to learn his new duties and responsibilities.

As the outgoing manager gets ready to leave for good, he tells the new manager that he has placed three numbered envelopes in the top drawer of the desk. He tells the new manager that each time he runs into a crisis that he cannot solve to open an envelope, starting with the first one, and follow th...

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A husband complains to his wife about their sex life

Sitting in the bedroom, the husband tells his wife:

"I can't do this anymore! We haven't had sex in years!"

"I understand. Let me show you."

So, the pair goes down to the kitchen. The husband gives an angry look to his wife:

"What's this all about?!"

"I want coffee...

The woman had just woken up from a traumatic baby delivery...

The doctor is standing next to her, and he says "I'm sorry ma'am, but your baby was born with severe birth defects."

She says "Oh my god! I have to see my baby now!"

The doctor tells her that he does not recommend it, but since she insisted, he took her to the ICU.

When they ...

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Three very pregnant women are sitting in the waiting room of the OB/GYN office...

In order to pass the time, all three women are knitting sweaters for their unborn babies.

The first mom puts down her knitting supplies, reaches into her purse, pulls out some pre-natal vitamins and says, "Good for mom, good for baby!" She downs a couple pills, and the two other moms nod and...

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