Dairy Farmer Jokes

"Same formula for two decades now" replies the clerk. "Why do you ask? Your cattle not eating?"

"No, it's not that. It's just that their flatulence has become unbearable. It used to not bother me, but it's got to the point that I can't even be in the barn without wearing a respirator."
<... read more

Dairy farmer 1: I’ve discovered a method of making cheese that results in 100% curds.

Dairy farmer 2: no whey!

A milk sheikh



Figured I had 6 min for my cake day, and for some reason that was the joke that popped in my head

He *barley* made ends meet.

Moo-ana

After he shows how to pull on the udders and fill the bucket, he says, "Now son, we have to dip your head in the milk to make it safe to drink."
The boy is confused and asks, "You've gotta dunk my whole head in the milk to be safe, Pa?"
The dairy farmer says, "No, son, no..."

"Just past... read more

You make money by the skim of your teat!

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, farmer John says to Carol, 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the rail above the cow's stall in the barn.
You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?'
So then the farmer leaves... read more

They see udders.

Muenster!!!

Because they lactose.

The steaks would be too high

They whey me down as I curd barely take them

Calf Raises.

Apparently they've begun a new trend of covering their cows' teets with fabric because they felt like their heifers were indecent. It's being called an udder shame.

He was gouda'd into it.

He wanted to talk about Cheeses.

...the other one yells angrily, "get out of there, it's pasteurized!"

And the farmer in the vat shouts back, "no it's not......It's only just past my waist!"

"How's everything going?" the neighbor asks.

"Not too bad" the farmer replies, "but a couple of of my cows have had terrible flatulence lately; the smell is almost too much to bear."

The neighbor laughs, "I know what you mean. A few years ago one of my horses had the very same problem... read more

A dairy potter.

He was a Wisconsin dairy farmer, took me on a tour of a Mando dairy. First, he showed me the snack curd-making facility, then pointed and said,

“This is the whey.”

A big, nationwide operating grocery franchise opened a store in a small, rural town in the midwest. Since there was only a local farmers store across the street, the manager decided to bankrupt the local store and monopolize on the town. So he approached potential customers at the door of the local... read more

Farmesan the dairy farmer is feeling bleu because of a string of falls he's been suffering. He calls up his doctor, Dr. Edam JaColby, and tells him "Doc, I'm in so much paineer!"and schedules an appointment. So Farmesan carephilly stumbles over to the clinic. "You mozzarella needed to see me cause y... read more

A dairy farmer from South Dakota had a favorite dairy cow. She was old, and one day she passed away. Saddened, but wanting another cow to give his family milk he sought out another cow in the local paper.

He found a listing from a dairy farmer in North Dakota a few hours away, and made arrang... read more

A Texas rancher and a Vermont dairy farmer are having a conversation about their farming operations at a cattleman's conference. The Vermont man asks how many acres of corn the Texan grew this year. "I don't grow any.", said the Texan. "Oh.", said the Vermonter, feeling embarrassed for asking . ... read more