UPJOKE
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I don't recommend buying thay book about the farmland that the farmer didn't finish seeding

It's full of plot holes

Two city kids take a road trip

Two city kids are taking a road trip deep into the countryside. After a long day of driving, they manage to find a diner, way out in the farmland, and decide to get dinner.

To their amazement, the restaurant is run entirely by cattle. The fry cook is a longhorn. A Holstein takes their order ...

Two hunters are walking through a wooded farmland...

when they come across a giant hole they can't seem to find the bottom of. They wanna know how deep it is, so they see a rusted anvil close by, drag it over, and throw it down the hole. Seconds pass, and they never hear it hit the bottom.

A few seconds later, a goat comes sprinting by, and jum...

Stalin is visiting the farmlands outside of Leningrad one day

Stalin is visiting the farmlands outside of Leningrad one day. He visits a potato farmer and asks the farmer, “Comrade, how many potatoes have you produced?” The farmer responds, “Well Comrade Stalin if you stacked them, they would reach god in the sky. Stalin’s replied, “but god does not exist” and...

I’ve always loved farming, and farmers are some of the most loving people.

There has always been an innate desire in me, and I believe in all humans, to begin farming at some level. From being outside to doing labor where your mind can wander into different places, I love it.

I have never considered myself a big animal person, but I’ve fallen in love with horses, s...

I'm reading a book on how soil is added to the farmland.

The plot thickens.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A politician’s chauffeur ran over a pig while visiting the farmlands.

The politician told the chauffeur to find the owner of the pig and apologize to him and offer him compensation for this accident. So the chauffeur went to look for the farmer who owned the pig. Couple of hours later, the chauffeur returned with lots of goods like eggs, butter, meat and chickens. ...

So theres a rich arabian prince driving through a foreign country and he's passing through some farmland and sees a farmer leaning on a post so he decides to stop and have a chat.

Is this your land? He asks the farmer. Yep, from that post down to the river. Responds the farmer. The prince smiles and says, on my land i can get in my car and drive the whole day and not see the other side! And the farmer says:
Yeah i had a car like that once.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Duck Hunter

A hunter is out in the country one day and waiting for ducks to fly by.

After a while he sees a duck, points his gun and shoots it. The duck falls to the ground onto some farmland nearby. The hunter walks over the the farm and sees a farmer holding the dead duck.

"Hey that's my duck!"...

Farmer

A man wants to purchase some farmland, but is wary of the bees on the property. The farmer thinks the bees are harmless so he makes the prospective buyer a deal: He'll tie the buyer naked to a tree that has a bee hive for an hour, and if any bee stings him, the farmer will GIVE him the land for free...

All the old farmer wanted to do was make his wife happy.

An old farmer came from riches, but he truly loved his wife. Unfortunately, she only wanted him for his money and would do anything to have it all for herself.

She complained about how much effort it took to plant, water, and grow the vegetables. So the old farmer built the strongest dam, and...

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You have two cows..

USA: You have two cows. You outsource a farm to milk them and sell the milk to those who can afford it. You then use the profit to buy someone else's cow for your butcher to make steak with.

Russia: You have two cows. When you get sober you remember that the mafia took them away from you, so ...

A successful American farmer makes a trip to Poland and visits a Polish farm...

The American asks, "How much of what I can see is your land?" The Pole replies, "Oh from the edge of that wheat field over there, to that river over there. And what about your farmland?"

"Oh let me tell you," the American begins to boast, "My farmland is so big, I could get in my car in the m...

A marine hits the beach on D-Day

A young marine hits the beach on D-Day, June 6, 1944. In the chaos of storming the beach he drops his rifle. Panicing, he runs to his Sergent and tells him what happened. The Sergent hands him a peice of driftwood and says "Now anytime you see a Kraut, just point this stick a him and should 'bangity...

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Three friends get lost in the jungle...

So three guy friends on vacation in South America get lost in the jungle.

Eventually after hours wandering and near death. The trio find themselves on a remote area of farmland where Coca plants are being grown.

Before long they get caught by the local drug lord who owns the land and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little duckling got lost...

...and is walking all alone across cold and misty farmland in the early morning.
A farmer -hard at work already- suddenly notices the little duckling and sympathizes with its plight.
He looks around and sees a fresh steaming cow pie. He doesn't hesitate a moment and picks up the little ducklin...

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