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A nut wants to tell you a secret

You are minding your own business when you hear a "psstt" sound appearing to come from a bag of nuts in your pantry.

Enthralled with curiousity, you drop your ear into the bag and say "what??"

The mysterious sound responds... "stashio"

An american fellow visiting at an English bar notices two attractive women with thick Irish accents sitting at the booth next to him....

out of curiousity, He approaches them and asks "Excuse me, are you two ladies from England?
One of the women gets mad and yellls "ITS WALES, YOU IDIOT!!!"

So after a Deep shock.... the gentleman responds "Excuse Me, are you two Whales from England"?

Why do auctioneers say "Going once... Going twice..."?

More-bid curiousity.

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