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Opioid Jokes

Got called in for a drug test at work...

They said I tested positive for opioids.

I said "Oh yeah. There were poppy seeds on my bagel this morning."

They said "What about the THC, cocaine, and LSD?"

"It was an everything bagel."

Opioid abuse may have a downside...

But it also has its Percs.

The way to solve the opioid problem is to legalize the drugs,

but only sell them through Comcast customer service.

What do you call a pharmacist who knows nothing about opioids?

An "oxy"

What do you call a prescription opioid abuser who realise their stupidity but won't stop anyway?

an oxymoron

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite joke

I went to go visit my friend Chuck on his farm out in Greater Minnesota, and he's showing off his barn, crops, and livestock. When we get to the swine corral, there's an enormous boar... with three wooden legs.

So I ask him, "why does that pig have three wooden legs?"

"Well, Steve, tha...
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