UPJOKE
morphinepaincodeineheroinoxycodonemethadoneopiumfentanyleuphorianaloxonehydrocodonenauseameperidinefibromyalgiaagonist

Got called in for a drug test at work...

They said I tested positive for opioids.

I said "Oh yeah. There were poppy seeds on my bagel this morning."

They said "What about the THC, cocaine, and LSD?"

"It was an everything bagel."
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What do you call a pharmacist who knows nothing about opioids?

An "oxy"moron
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a kindly but unsophisticated trash friend of mine appreciated a midlife introduction to marx, commenting "religion the opiate of the masses?...

'pretty sure opioids are a solid lock on the opiate of them masses."
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