If I'm going to go to all the effort of remembering you have a baby you could at least have the common decency...

...to still have a baby when I see you several years later.

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What's the difference between Trump and Hitler?

Hitler had the decency to kill himself after he lost.

Englishman a Scotsman and an Irishman are on a train compartment, drinking and being loud together. At the next stop an elderly priest and a beautiful woman get on and sit across from the three.

As the train gets under way, the priest looks at the three with distain and says, "Have ya any decency between ya? You three look like a right pair of fools, but I'll give 50 quid to any of you that can name the three main characters of the Bible." The Englishman pipes up and says, "The three Kings?...

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Why are hurricanes the best natural disaster?

They at least have the decency to get you wet before violently fucking you!

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An English Lord of the Manor returned home early from his grouse shoot to find his wife having sex in bed with his best friend, the local MP.

‘How could you, Miranda?’ he cried. ‘After everything I’ve done for you. I’ve given you this beautiful house, I’ve always provided you with the most expensive clothes and jewels, I bought you a Ferrari for your birthday, I’ve tried to be a kind husband, and this is how you repay me!’

Hearing ...

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The Swede’s wife

stepped up to the tee and, as she bent over to place her ball, a gust of wind blew her skirt up and revealed her lack of underwear.

"Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?", Ole demanded.

"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any," she replied. ...

My dad accidentally threw a cheese grater at me,

So I left the room and he yelled “come back here you ungrateful child” while laughing hysterically.

Update 1: my mum just told me if I had a ‘shred’ of decency I would go back in there.

Update 2: my dad apologised and told me he had only done it for the ‘grater’ good

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A woman goes to church for confession...

A perfect 10/10, one of the most beautiful women in the world.

“Forgive me father for I have sinned.”

“What sins will you be confessing today, my child?”

“I cheated on my husband with another man.”

The priest, still a virgin at age 58, loses all sense of decency as an ide...

A soldier is stationed in the middle east...

A young, American soldier arrives to his first tour of duty in an undeveloped area of Kuwait, and quickly discovers that things are rather strict. While he's able to distract himself for the first few days, he soon starts to get a little bit "antsy," and wonders how, exactly, he's meant to contend w...

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[Long, but original] Two brothers are catching up over a drink...

The older brother Dave is successful, hard-working and married with a family, a dog and a cat. The younger brother Mike is a real nice guy, but he's kind of a fuck-up. Having been too busy to catch up for weeks, they decide to meet up at the local bar.

Dave says, "Man, I'm sorry we haven't ...

A husband and wife are out to dinner

When all of sudden a very attractive young lady comes up and kisses the husband on the cheek, winks, and walks away.

Naturally, the wife is less than pleased about this

"Who was that?" She asks

"That's Jessica, my mistress" he replies

As you can imagine, the wife is not ...

So I heard a tree service worker tried to stuff one of his coworkers into a wood chipper....

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he doesn't have a shred of decency .

The Lord of the Manor

The Lord of the manor returned from his grouse hunt quite a bit earlier than expected. He entered the master bedroom to change, and found her Ladyship making passionate love to Sir Reginald Carpley. The irate Lord stood stiffly and loudly berated his wife for her infidelity.

With thunder in h...

Whats the difference between a burglar and an ex-wife?

At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house.

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A mexican joke

A woman and her son are walking down the street. The child spots a two dogs going at it and asks her mom what they are doing.
The woman, thinks up a good excuse to tell him, and so says "Oh well, the male doggie had hurt his paw, and the female doggie told him 'Hop on, I'll give you a ride.'"
...

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