A group of dogs is a pack. A group of crows is a murder. What is a group of Karen's?

A Home Owners Association.

Dead Crows

During a review of accident statistics, it was noticed that one particular intersection in Boston had an inordinately high number of dead crows, presumably killed by motor vehicle strikes. Further study revealed the oddity that in every case, the dead crow had been killed by a truck—never a passenge...

What do you call a failed gathering of crows?

Attempted murder

The Kansas police found a large number of dead crows on the 135 outside of Witchita today

There was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu.

The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varyin...

Where do the Asian crows live?

In Croatia.

I witnessed an actual murder in real life and didn't tell anyone about it.

Crows are common in my area so it wasn't a big deal.

Murder of crows

Question...If a group of crows is called a murder, and a group is three or more, is two crows together considered an attempted murder? Also, as I’ve been told, crows are very intelligent, my so would a planned gathering of crows be considered a pre-meditated murder?

Crows

Before they invented Crowbars, crows had to drink alone. :(

A crow was arrested during lockdown for trying to organise a get together with many other fellow crows.

The police said he was arrested for attempted murder.

(Work in progress)What do you call a bunch of ravens pretending to be crows?

A conspiracy to commit murder!

The crows were calling his name...

Thought Caw.

What prompts most crows to commit homicide?

Caws and effect

A crow sits on a telephone pole, doing nothing - looking stupid

A crow is sitting on a telephone pole when his mate, another crow arrives.

Crow#2 asks his friend: "Hey buddy, what are you doing?"

Crow#1: "Nothing really, just sitting here and looking stupid"

Crow#2: "Sounds cool, I wanna try that, too!"

An hour later a 3rd crow arrive...

A bunch of crows live in our neighborhood so I am constantly making jokes about "(attempted) murder."

It's not that funny anymore and it's driving my wife insane, but I'm just setting up a big laugh for when the judge reads the charges against her.

Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?

Well, technically it's only a murder if there's probable caws.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Protesting Crows

A crow march was organized online - smart little buggers. Only two showed up. Thousands bought tickets on TikToc... The two crows were arrested. When asked why they didn't wear masks they said they were not afraid of Corvid-19. They were charged with attempted murder.

A flock of seagulls, a herd of sheep, a murder of crows...

An Insurrection of Republicans

Did I tell you about the time I took a bunch of crows to the asylum?

I committed a murder.

Why are flights with crows often delayed?

Because they bring a lot of extra carrion luggage.

Teacher asks her class, "If there's 14 crows on a fence and you shoot 2 off, how many are left ?"

One little boy says, "None, the shotgun scared them all away." Teacher says, "That's not the answer I was looking for but I like the way you're thinking." Boy says to teacher, "I have a question for you." "There's 3 women eating ice cream cones. 1 is licking, 1 is sucking, 1 is biting. Which one is ...

I whisper my sins to crows

So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder

My roommate got in trouble with the police because he had two crows in our apartment as pets.

The cops arrested him for attempted murder.

African Grey Parrots are famously intelligent, but studies have shown that they consistently lose chess matches against ravens, jackdaws, and other corvids.

Said one researcher, "They just have trouble weighing the crows and pawns."

If a group of crows is called a 'murder', and two crows are an 'attempted murder', what do you call eighteen crows?

Pretty close to a pandemic in 2020.




(Corvid-18! Geddit Reddit?)

Yeah-yeah I made it up, not sorry... yet...

Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...

they've been found to copulate with corpses.

NeCROWphilia.

A crow was arrested an put behind bars.

His lawyer, a lawyer bird obviously, visited him.
"How bad is it?" The crow asked.

"Pretty bad." The lawyer bird replied. "They had a warrant to go through your phone."

"So what?" The crow said. "I've got nothing to hide."

"They found the texts to your friends." The lawyer b...

How do the crows in Texas greet each other?

Yee-caw

Two crows were fighting and another crow came and broke it up.

"Stop carrion on like that," the third crow said.

It's COVID-19, not CORVID-19. A corvid is of the crow family. 19 crows are not gathering to kill you...

But if they are... its a murder.

In a society of crows,

All unsolved crimes are murder mysteries.

What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?

Corvid-19

What do you call a plan to kill a bunch of crows that are hanging around on a gravestone?

A plot to murder a murder plot's murder.

A crow was found dead by other crows and they began to search for the cause.

A murder investigation.

I would rather breed mice than crows

Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.

"Hello police? I'd like to report a murder"

"For the last time sir, a bunch of crows sitting in a tree isn't a threat to your security"

How do you tell the difference between ravens and crows.

The long straight tail feathers on these birds are called pinions. Crows are known to have 7 pinions, while ravens have 8. So the difference between a raven and a crow is a matter of a pinion.

Crows make black babies. Doves make white babies. What makes no babies?

Swallows.

"There are three crows sitting on a branch,

you shoot one, how many are left?" The teacher asks little Jack.
"None Mrs. Parker, because the others would've flown away after hearing the gunshot."
"The correct answer is two little Jack, but I like the way you think."
"Well Mrs. parker, I have a question for you too. There are thr...

If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?

Annoying

Charity for crows

Crow: will you give me some money
Person: what
Crow: caw caw caw caw
Crow: its four good caws

TIL that a flock of crows is called a murder.

Thus apparently, gangsta rap lyrics are mostly about ornithology.

Crows

There once was a crow who was not like the others. He always was on the telephone line, and never went down on the road to eat roadkill like the other crows. He also warned the ither crows of oncoming cars. One day a bus hit all the crows because all the other crow knew was "caw, caw"

Intelligent Crows

When I was in school, some professors noticed that the crows on campus were astoundingly intelligent. These crows recognized that when lights were green, cars could go and when they were red, cars would stop. Using this knowledge, the crows would put nuts on the crosswalk so that during a green ligh...

Police have begun training Crows to search vehicles.

It's easier to search without a warrant because Police Crows always have Just Cawws.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman peers into her bedroom mirror and sighs, deeply.

Her husband quickly asks what the issue is, concerned. She turns around, facing him, “I’m not who I used to be. My forehead is wrinkly, my nose and ears are giant, my lips are deflated and my crows feet are deepen more and more by the day! My collar bones are undefined and my arms are flappy. My beh...

How come crows never get hit by cars?

Their friends are all up on the power lines yelling "caw caw!"

What do you call two crows on a branch?

Attempted murder.



What do you call a male human's response to this joke?

Man'slaughter.

Why do crows never check their bags at the airport?

They prefer carrion.

A group of crows were receiving their PhDs at their college's commencement ceremony when the police showed up.

They all were arrested for third-degree murder.

What kind of birds always stick together?

Vel-Crows!!!!

OP meets a talking crow

One day OP decides to get off reddit for a bit and go for a nice leisurely walk. After walking for a few hours he pauses at a park bench and sits down to collect his thoughts.

A crow lands on the bench beside him and takes him off guard by saying hello.

“Are... are you a talking crow?...

Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of Catholic crows?

It was Mass Murder!

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