UPJOKE
antlerred deerfamilykowtowantelopeextinctionsuck upmoosereindeerruminantmammalcringefallow deermuntjacchital

All the children were playing with the woodchipper, except Fawn.

She was spread out all over the lawn.

What’s the difference between bucks and fawns?

Your mom won’t get on her knees for five fawns

Why did Sarah name her pet Fawn 99 Cents?

Because it wasn't big enough to be a Buck.

There was once a forest man named Imm...

Imm always wanted to have a child and would always talk about it to his best friend Epp. One day when they were in their early twenties, Epp met a girl and quickly fell in love. Not long after, Epp and his girlfriend got married and had a baby girl they named Goo. Imm was happy for Epp at first, but...

A farmer and his daughter move to a new farm ...

A boy from a neighboring farm comes over to welcome his new neighbors and is immediately smitten. The next day the boy returns with a gift of a baby deer. The day after that he gives the daughter a pure white bird. The following day he delivers a healthy female sheep. After the third gift, the ...

One Christmas Eve, many decades ago, Santa Claus announced to his elves, "I'm supposed to begin my annual flight in one hour. But there are still some toys that need to be made and put into my sack. I need all seven of my elite toymakers to finish the toys on time."

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Kringle," said the elf in charge of the workshop. "One of the elite toymakers is on vacation, and two are sick. I'm afraid we only have four elites tonight."

"So be it," said Santa.

It took two hours for the elves to finish making the toys. By the time they were done...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Australian joke (but it may translate..)

ScoMo (the Australian Prime Minister, right wing, evangelical, ex marketing specialist) is visiting a remote indigenous village, surrounded by the fawning Murdoch press. He speaks to the village elder and asks him how he can make the locals lives better.

"Well," says the elder, "We've got two...

How do you use medicine to assassinate an aunt?

Anti-Venom

Okay, so you want her alive, how do you just stop her fawning over you?

Anti-Dote

A little boy gets on the public bus and sits right behind the bus driver.

The boy keeps saying," If my mom was a cow and my dad was a bull, I'd be a calf. If my mom was a hen and my dad was a rooster, I'd be a chick. If my mom was a doe and my dad was a buck, I'd be a fawn."

The annoyed bus driver stops the bus and turns to the boy, saying, "What if your mom was a...

What do you call a cheesy baby deer on your lawn in the morning?

Fawn dew.

A brilliant scientist successfully creates a lifelike deer cyborg.

Dr. Holmes, after many years of biotechnological research, finally succeeded in his secret project, using funds diverted from his research grant. Because the project needed to be kept off the records, Dr. Holmes kept the deer at home.

The cyborg would grow and develop just as a normal fawn wo...

A baby deer has been hanging around my house lately

I'm quite fawned of it

My sister dressed up as a deer for Halloween.

All my friends fawned over her

I got impaled by a deer today:

It was a massive fawn in my side

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Father, why is my brother called Flying Eagle?"

“Well son, when an Indian brave comes out from the teepee after his wife gives birth, the child is named for the first thing the father sees.”

“Oh, is that why sister is named Rising Fawn?”

“Yes. All the braves name their children this way.”

“I understand, father.”

“Ok. I...

Old Lady: "Harold? What are you doing with my birth certificate at 3 in the morning?"

Old Man: "Oh, I'm just fawning over how beautiful your name is, darling."

Old Lady: "Harold! That is incredibly sweet of you!"

Old Man: "Well, what can I say? I'm incredibly lucky to have married the woman I love, and that she could have such a beautiful name as... uh..."

*squi...

What do you call a baby deer's droppings?

FawnDoo!



Nailed it.

Little Johnny is trick or treating

and he’s dressed like a pirate! His outfit is top to bottom swashbuckling fun, and he’s incredibly proud of all the fine details included.

He goes to the first house, knocks on the door and when the door opens he yells “twick o tweat!”
The woman at the door fawns over him, she coos “oh...

A young Iroquois enters the longhouse of the village matriarch

"Grandmother, I've got a bone to pick with you" he exclaims.


"Yes, my son. What do you seek?" inquires the wise, old woman.


"Where do our names come from?"


"When a child comes into our world, I take him from the midwives and raise him towards the sky. I close my eyes...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite absurdist joke.

One night, a man was sitting at a bar, sipping a drink minding his business, when a guy walked into the bar accompanied by two gorgeous ladies.

The curious thing about the guy who walked in was that his head was, literally, an orange.

Well, this certainly got the attention of the man s...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.