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Horrify Jokes

It was on this day in 1978 that cult leader Jim Jones carried out a mass murder/suicide of over 900 of his followers in Jonestown, Guyana. Horrifying. There's a joke about it but it's wildly innappriopriate.

And anyway, the punchline's too long.

Apparently 25% of women are on some form of medication for mental illness. 25%! That's horrifying.

It means 75% of them are running around untreated!

Must be horrifying to have a shower when you're a magician

You never know if your bathroom is still going to be there when you pull back the shower curtain.

Satan Appears in a Church

A few minutes before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s more horrifying than finding a stack of dad’s playboys in the basement?

Realising one of them’s still breathing.

A flock of crows flew beak-first into window at horrifying speeds.

Experts suggest it was a murder suicide.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I met a girl who loved to eat ass

It was horrifying to watch her enthusiasm but the donkey loved it

The Genie and the Demon

Three men are out walking in the woods one day, when they stumble upon an old bronze lamp. Naturally, having spent much of their lives reading internet jokes, their first inclination is to rub the lamp and excitedly greet the genie that emerges.

"You have freed me from my near-eternal captivi...

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