Annoy Jokes - 111 Hilarious Annoy Jokes

My Boyfriend said I’m starting to annoy him because I relate everything to Batman….

What a joker!!!

How do you annoy a skeleton?

You can't! Nothing gets under their skin.

How do you annoy a Texan?

Just say your power grid is working!

My wife asked if she has any annoying habits...

... and then she got all offended during the PowerPoint presentation

I'm annoyed by people with no feet

Guess I'm lack toes intolerant

Isn't it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers?

It's stupid. You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves baristas.

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Little Timmy was annoyed by his father

because whenever he was ahead in an argument, his father would just say - Whatever dude, I fucked your mum.

And he couldn't think of a good comeback, so he asked his Uncle Jim for help.

Uncle Jim said - Well, next time he say this to you, you say that I've been deeper in her than he ev...

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How to annoy an archaeologist?

Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it belongs to.

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Getting really fucking annoyed now!

This is the 6th ATM I've been to, that's had "insufficient funds".

How do you annoy people on Reddit?

[removed]

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A young man walks into a bar looking annoyed and sullen. "What's the matter, son?" asks an older patron.

The young man sighs.

"I have a girlfriend who's very nice and very pretty."

"So? What's the problem?"

"Actually, she's not just pretty. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever met in my life."

"That sounds great."

"Not only that, she also adores me and wants to b...

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My annoying little cousin keeps bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed.

Well, joke’s on you, you little shit. I sleep in a real car.

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Mrs O'Malley, who lived in a seaside town, was continually annoyed by the seagulls...

[NSFW]

Mrs O'Malley, who lived in a seaside town, was continually annoyed by the seagulls that would roost on her roof and leave their smelly droppings on her rose bushes.

One day, seeing a flock of them through her front window, she charged out of her front door waving her broom wildl...

What happens when you annoy a clock?

It gets ticked off.

I was walking with my girlfriend when a random guy whistled at her and said "nice ass". She was clearly annoyed and demanded I say something.

So I turned around and said: "Thank you I've been doing squats"

Bugs annoy people in the Pokémon games,

but entertain people in the Space Jam movies.

What is white and annoying while having food?

An avalanche

A really annoying loophole

A bus carrying many people crashed on an icy road, burst into flames, and everyone died. Upon arrival in heaven, God said, "Since you have died in a terrible way, I'll grant you one wish before I let you into heaven." The first woman, being a person always concerned on her looks, comes up to God and...

I told my wife a joke about blocking a river but she got annoyed.

I said “why are you so upset? it’s just a dam joke”

The Naked Hippie

This joke is one i came up with to annoy my wife. She hates it lol.

A naked man walks into a tailor's shop. The tailor screams at him. "Hey, get out of my store! You can't come in here like that." The man replies, "awww, c'mon dude....cut me some slacks."

The end

How did the swordsman annoy r/jokes?

He feinted. (Sorry)

Never try to annoy someone with bird puns.

Because toucan play that game.

As a woman it's annoying when men think they are better drivers

When I'm trying to park I don't need you to offer help every 20 minutes

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What's the most annoying thing about carpenter porn?

The ads about hot shingles in your area.

I'm annoyed because my parrot is mocking me.

I'm annoyed because my parrot is mocking me

My mum got really annoyed when I tried to tickle my little sister's feet...

she said something about 'waiting till she was born'.

My friends get annoyed when I post in italics.

*I guess it's a bit too right-leaning for them*

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All of the suggested ads I'm seeing online today are for Viagra and it's frustrating and annoying.

I think they're just trying to get a rise out of me.

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A stutterer's wife was getting annoyed of his stutter...

So she asks him to go see a doctor. When the men got to the hospital and explained everything the doctor said:

"Pull down your pants."

"W-why?"

"Just do it."

"O-ok."

"There's the problem. You have a big penis that is pulling down your diaphragm. You will have to do...

Why are pediatricians always so annoyed?

Because they have very little patients

My Girlfriend has been repeatedly asking me “Are you a character from Alice in Wonderland?” and it’s getting really annoying

My Friend asked me “Are you mad at her?”

I replied “Don’t you start too”

In what state are babies less annoying?

Liquid

What's the most annoying thing about being a necrophiliac?

Your girlfriend never returns your calls.

Annoying husband

Husband says: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Wife says: I clean the toilet...
Husband says: How does that help?
Wife says: I use your Toothbrush.....

My girlfriend asked me to stop singing I'm a believer by The Monkees, because she found it annoying. At first I thought she was kidding.

But then I saw her face.

Does anyone else remember seeing the Annoying Orange on YouTube?

I sure do.

He was in the white house for four years.

Why don't women parachute naked?

That annoying whistling sound on the way down.

What's the difference between harass and annoy?

I have never had my finger in annoy.

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What’s old, annoying and only fucks you twice a year?

Daylight savings time

Things I do to annoy my wife...

1) Say 'bless yooou' in the same intonation as her 'Atchooo'

2) Sing "Little red corvette... the kind you find in a second-hand store"

3) Bring her an empty plate and say "Oh no, the pasta got too close to the anti-pasta!"

4) Leave a room, fart loudly, return as if nothing's h...

What do you call an annoying teenager?

A minor inconvenience.

I'm annoyed with my loud obnoxious neighbour.

Now I know how Canada feels.

What do you call when a person annoys people with loud music?

A deaf wish

How do you get someone to do something annoying 18 times in a row?

>!y!< >!o!< >!u!< >!m!< >!a!< >!k!< >!e!< >!t!< >!h!< >!e!< >!m!< >!c!< >!u!< >!r!< >!i!< >!o!< >!u!< >!s!<

I looked from the game up to find my wife standing over me, arms akimbo and an annoyed look on her face.

"You're not even listening to me, are you?" she asked.

I thought to myself - "That's a pretty strange way to start a conversation."

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A redneck and an annoying stranger are sitting next to each other on a 12 hour plane ride...

The stranger is pretty well dressed and, after a few drinks becomes very loud and disruptive. He starts boasting that hes the smartest man on the plane. After a few minutes of unsuccessfully trying to get people to engage with him, a stewardess tells the stranger he needs to be quiet and stop distur...

Annoying a vegan...

...is like shooting fish in a barrel. Which annoys them even more

Once upon a time there was a woman married to an annoying man named Steve.

He would complain about everything. One day he went to their creek with his mule. He complained so much that the mule got annoyed and kicked him to death.

At the funeral, when all the men walked by the wife she shook her head yes and every time the women walked by she shook her head no.
...

Broken bridges really annoy me...

I just can't get over them.

I like to annoy my Israeli flatmate

By sending him Mail addressing it to the occupier .

I miss the days when the Annoying Orange was just a fictional youtube character

And not the President of the United States.

Annoying Mole

Mary looks out her kitchen window and sees that a mole has practically destroyed the back lawn, so she tells her husband, Paddy, to go out and kill it and to show no mercy. After ten minutes, Paddy comes back into the house with an evil grin on his face.

"So," says Mary, "did you drown the fe...

Friction annoys me.

It's such a drag.

Why do inquisitive peppers annoy people?

Because they get jalapeño business.

What joke will annoy a math nerd?

What do you read at a mathematician's funeral?

[A Eulergy](#s)

People say vegans are annoying

But I've never had any beef with them.

My wife keeps trying to annoy me by making bird jokes.

Little does she know Toucan play at that game.

What did the annoyed doctor say to the annoying patient

Look man I'm losing my patience and if you keep doing this I'm gonna lose evan more

So it is possible to just slap a comedian that annoys you.

You don't need to destroy their whole country.

My wife's really annoyed with me.

I put a stick in a non-stick pan.

An annoying thing on reddit

It annoys me when people don’t proliferate on reddit.

Walking is super annoying to learn.

It always takes more than 2 steps to figure out.

Many people think hedges are annoying.

But why beat around the bush?

The carbon monoxide detector is getting really annoying

But hey, at least the kids are quiet

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If your wondering whether your going to annoy grammar nazis with your typos

*you are

How to deal with annoying dog

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs. She finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is s...

Thats annoying

Sister: what is a group of fly’s called?

Me and my dad: ANNOYING

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What is the most annoying thing after sex?

Hiding the dead body.

Why was my post removed?

Can anyone tell me why my post was removed?

I'm a bit annoyed by this because my fence has fallen over.

I think playwrights are really annoying.

They’re always making a scene.

Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?

They dribble all the time.

Do you know how annoying it is to drill small holes?

Only a little bit.

I finally fixed that annoying noise in my car.

I opened the door and pushed her out.

I annoyed my friend so he mixed up my Tic Tacs.

That's one of his Tac Tics.

Ugh, it's so annoying. I could care less...

...about using the term "I could care less" properly.

Pain is so annoying.

It really gets on my nerves.

How do you annoy a redditor?

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/47hj7i/how_do_you_annoy_a_reddittor/

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/47hh2d/how_do_you_annoy_a_reddittor/

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/47hgfg/how_do_you_annoy_a_reddittor/

How do you inconspicuously annoy someone with a stupid joke?

I'm asking for a freind.

I'm really annoyed, my wifes sister sat on my glasses and broke them!

to be fair, it was probably my fault for leaving them on

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Man made climate change is really annoying me!

I wish the jerks that keep changing the climate would just set it at 70 degrees Fahrenheit year round and be done with it!

My little daughter came to me all excited, saying, “Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I’ll be this August!” I chuckled, “Oh I don’t know princess, why don’t you tell me?” She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers.

It’s now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she *still* won’t say where she got them!

I've come to learn that every groupchat has a separate, smaller groupchat, just without the annoying people.

If you think yours doesn't, then i have some bad news.

I just opened up a gym where my entire staff asks you a series of annoying questions every so often for the length of your stay.

Welcome to Jehovah's Fitness.

What did tornado say to it’s annoying twin?

Sigh, clone.

It's annoying how nothing is made in the USA anymore.

I just bought a TV, and it wrote "Built in Antenna" on the box.

What do you call a paranoid and annoying person?

Karenoid.

Why is it best to annoy people on an elevator?

It’s easier to get a rise out of them.

A Chinese doctor cant find a job in a hospital in America, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside that reads "GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100."

An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.

Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 14 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."

Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene."

Chinese: "Congrats, yo...

COVID-19 jokes are really popular considering what's going on. Have some patience if they annoy you.

They should start to die in a week or so.

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A woman and her annoying nephew entered a lawn bowling contest.

The sun was out, the grounds had been immaculately prepared and every retiree within city limits had turned out for the event. Pearl had to admit that she was feeling better about the day now that it had finally arrived.

A few weeks ago when her delinquent of a sister had foisted her awful...

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My brother has this really annoying habit of telling me about other girls butts. [OC]

My brother has this really annoying habit of telling me about other girls butts. Whenever we are walking in public and he sees a girl he likes, he always says, “Look at that ass tho.”

After years of getting fed up with his comments, I decide to make him a sculpture for his birthday. I carved ...

BE AFRAID IF YOU ANNOY THIS HUSBAND!!

A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the woman's horse mis-steps and jostles the man's wife. Once across the st...

A infinite number of mathematicians go into a bar...

The first one orders one beer. The second one half of a beer. The next a quarter, the next one eighth, and so on...
The barkeeper is very annoyed and gives all of them together two beer.

My boyfriend is always annoyed that I always mix up my directions, and he finally told me to leave,

So I packed my bags and I right left away

Getting all that clay off you would be annoying

If you were a harry potter.

I saw an article that said annoying people have a great sense of humor.

I found that really funny because- oh.

I get very annoyed when people mix up there, their, and they're.

From now on I'm going two point it out weather they like it or not

Logical fallacies are annoying.

Therefore, people that don't know about them are annoying.

Most people find unnecessary acronyms annoying

But that's TBE

What do you call an annoying german kid?

A BratWurst

My 9 1/2 year-old son came up with this one: What do you call someone you can't stand because all they do is annoy you with question after question?

An askhole.

I didn't even laugh at first. I immediately asked if he'd heard it somewhere. He said he hadn't, that he'd come up with it on his own. When I asked him when he did that, he said it was when we were leaving for church (earlier that day). Then I had a good laugh.

I helped...

What's the most annoying kind of potato?

An agitator

I need a few brief jokes to tell to a group of elderly people. The punchlines need to be easily understood, and they need to be clean and not making fun of anyone with any kind of disability. Have any brief and fairly original jokes?

This one is good, although I’ll probably have to emphasize the ‘mispronouncing words’ part, and instead of blonde, the dummy will be me:

*A blonde is flying in a Boeing for the first time. She starts jumping on her seat shouting "Boeing Boeing Boeing".
The pilot, clearly annoyed by this, w...

Most annoying joke ever

A man dies and is sent to the first level of hell. There he sees two queues. He joins the back of one and asks what the queues are for. He is told one is for a glass of wine and the queue he joined for a leg of lamb. After a millennia he gets to the front and eats his lamb. Once finished a door open...

A guy driving a Kia.

A guy driving a Kia pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce...

The driver of the Kia rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got Wi-Fi in your Rolls? I’ve got Wi-Fi in my Kia!"

The driver of the Rolls looks over and says s...

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My wife does this really annoying thing when she’s having sex…

…she calls me up.

What do you tell an annoying alcoholic?

Stop whining.

What's the most annoying type of person?

One who answers their own questions

My Anti-Vax neighbor's one year old son is so annoying.

He cries all the time, seems like he is going through a midlife crisis.

An old man used to call his wife "mother of six" since they had 6 children and this nickname kinda annoyed her

"Mother of six, could you bring my coffe?" He would yell to her from the living room.

"Mother of six, is dinner ready?" He would say every night just to mess with her, as he laughed.

She was becoming really angry at him because of this unwanted nickname, until Thanksgiving, where the ...

Android phone can be so annoying

Just received a notification that my bible needs update, for what exactly?
Has Adam eaten another apple.

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