‌‌I wa‌‌s walkin‌‌g wit‌‌h m‌‌y girlfrien‌‌d whe‌‌n ‌‌a rando‌‌m gu‌‌y whistle‌‌d a‌‌t he‌‌r an‌‌d sai‌‌d, "Nic‌‌e ass"‌‌. Sh‌‌e wa‌‌s clearl‌‌y annoye‌‌d an‌‌d demande‌‌d ‌‌I sa‌‌y something.

S‌‌o ‌‌I turne‌‌d aroun‌‌d an‌‌d said, "Than‌‌k yo‌‌u I'v‌‌e bee‌‌n doin‌‌g squats."

My Boyfriend said I’m starting to annoy him because I relate everything to Batman….

What a joker!!!

I've come to learn that every groupchat has a separate, smaller groupchat, just without the annoying people.

If you think yours doesn't, then i have some bad news.

How do you annoy a skeleton?

You can't! Nothing gets under their skin.

Does anyone else remember seeing the Annoying Orange on YouTube?

I sure do.

He was in the white house for four years.

I get very annoyed when people mix up there, their, and they're.

From now on I'm going two point it out weather they like it or not

My wife's really annoyed with me.

I put a stick in a non-stick pan.

A teenager has a crush on a girl, and decides to ask her to the prom.

The girls accepts, and the boy is over the moon. Because he wants this night to be perfect, he decides he needs to dress his best, so, a couple of weeks before the prom he looks to rent a tuxedo.

When he gets to the store there are already people waiting in line, but he waits anyway, and get...

My fried just got engaged to her boyfriend, Peter, and was gushing about how in love she is. Obviously the first thing out of my mouth was "oh, so you're a massive Peterphile!" Apparently that was "inappropriate" and now she's annoyed with me.

This is actually a true story, so hope it's okay that it's not in a standard joke format.

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My wife does this really annoying thing when she’s having sex…

…she calls me up.

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I think, I'm going to lose my drivers license and all just because of a stupid police officer...

The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you ...

Annoying Mole

Mary looks out her kitchen window and sees that a mole has practically destroyed the back lawn, so she tells her husband, Paddy, to go out and kill it and to show no mercy. After ten minutes, Paddy comes back into the house with an evil grin on his face.

"So," says Mary, "did you drown the fe...

A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts a sign outside reading 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'

An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.

Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 14 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."

Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene."

Chinese: "Congrats, yo...

I get annoyed when people say that us programmers have a superiority complex.

It's not a complex, you idiots

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Guy gets a hotel room and asks for a hooker

A man heads to a seedy hotel to rent a room and asks the clerk where to find a prostitute.

The clerk says not to worry, he'll send one to the man's room in a few minutes.

The man goes to his room and sure enough, a few minutes later a prostitute knocks on his door.

"Hi honey, ho...

It is 1939 and a Soviet army is marching on Finland. As they pass the border, they hear a Finnish voice over the hill;

It is 1939 and a Soviet army is marching on Finland. As they pass the border, they hear a Finnish voice over the hill;
"One Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet soldiers!"
The Soviet general laughs, as he sends 10 men on the hill to capture it.
There is gunfire for a minute and then...

"I do not tolerate tardiness," a professor tells his class at the beginning on the semester.

Looking out at the sea of stricken faces in the large lecture hall he continues. "There are 300 of you, and only one of me. I will not allow you to waste my time. If you are late to class, I will count you as absent for the day. If you hand in an assignment late, it will not count towards your grade...

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Having big boobs is overrated

So, I myself have big boobs and I have no idea why people wish they had big boobs so badly. They're so annoying and don't look good and I've even been mocked for the size of my boobs. I wish I had small boobs and would happily exchange mine for smaller boobs, especially since I'm a dude.

A man meets his Tinder date at a carnival.

"There's so many games!" he said, "What do you wanna do?"

"I wanna get weighed." she says, shyly looking at the ground.

They go to the GUESS-Your-WEIGHT booth and she wins a stuffed animal.

"What next?" he asks.

"I wanna get weighed." she says, confidently looking at him....

My little daughter came to me all excited, shrieking, “Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I’ll be in October!” Playing along, I laughed, “Oh I don’t know princess, why don’t you tell me?” She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers...

.
It’s now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she *still* won’t say where she got them...

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Pregnant woman got shot 3 times

A pregnant woman with triples got shot in the stomach 3 times as an innocent bystander.
She went to the hospital and they examined and said luckily No surgery is needed and bullets will come out naturally.

She goes on to have 3 healthy boys. After many years go by one day one of her sons...

Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?

They dribble all the time.

We had an annoying kid named V in our school

Then we got a Vending machine.

A woman marries a narcissist

There was a woman who married a man who never thought of anyone other than himself. His favorite thing to do was to complain about his wife to anyone who would hear. One day he went out with a mule and started complaining about his wife to the mule. The mule was so annoyed by his complaining that it...

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Two cows

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give? Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?

Interviewer: Brown one.

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer: And the black one?

Farmer: A couple of litres per day. Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see....

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before land...

Pulleys are annoying!!

They are always the center of a tension.

A husband and wife and their ten kids are waiting to board the subway.

When the subway arrives, it is nearly full. The husband tells his wife "Honey, you should board this train with the kids, and I'll catch the next train." The wife does so, and the train departs with his wife and ten children.

While waiting for the train, there is an old man with a walker...

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to...

My Anti-Vax neighbor's one year old son is so annoying.

He cries all the time, seems like he is going through a midlife crisis.

A husband was sleeping next to his blind wife…

He woke up feeling his wife’s hands touching all over his face. Annoyed he asked, “What are you doing?”

In a sweet voice she said, “I just love watching you sleep.”

Did you hear about the thief who got annoyed by wooden barriers?

He took a fence.

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A girl named Yu was being held captive by a tribe of goblins...

The goblins were very particular about how they did things, as they enjoyed toying with their captives. They all had a bizarre sense of humor.

“Let me go!” shouted Yu, who was suspended twenty feet in the air by ropes and pulleys. The goblins just chuckled at the fact that they knew she could...

It annoys me when Engineering students call themselves Engineers...

You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors, or art students calling themselves unemployed.

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks for bottom deodorant.

The assistant, a little bemused, explains to the woman they have never sold bottom deodorant. The blonde, unfazed, assures the lady behind the counter, that she has been buying the stuff from here on a regular basis, and would like some more.

The shop assistant thinks for a minute, knowing fu...

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Sex with me is as annoying as playing a round of golf with tiger woods

No one wants to play with someone who shoots it in the hole first stroke every time!

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My girlfriend and my sister have the same name its so annoying.

Everytime we have sex i think about my girlfriend .

My crush told me that I'm pretty.

Well, the whole sentence was "you're pretty annoying", but I focus only on the positive things.

What do you call an annoying german kid?

A BratWurst

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Anna gets a call from the hospital

Anna gets a call from the hospital letting her know that her husband has been in a freak accident. She hurriedly drops what she's doing and rushes over to the hospital. Concerned and nervous, nearly in tears the doctor escorts her to the hospital room. Completely unprepared for the worst she takes a...

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A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, “Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?”

“Are you nuts?!” – she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.

“Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?” – he asks again.

“Listen you; I’m not that kind of woman! Got it?” So the guy runs around the ...

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Man made climate change is really annoying me!

I wish the jerks that keep changing the climate would just set it at 70 degrees Fahrenheit year round and be done with it!

A joke my Polish friend loved.

[Full of errors I'm sure. On to the brilliant joke.]

A polish farmeris tilling his field. It's another beautiful spring day when suddenly his plough hits something. Upon inspection he sees that it's some sort of golden lamp. He dusts it off and a genie comes out of it and says to the humble p...

Ok Mods I want to know why my post was removed.

It's annoying because my fence keeps falling down.

How do you get someone to do something annoying 18 times in a row?

>!y!< >!o!< >!u!< >!m!< >!a!< >!k!< >!e!< >!t!< >!h!< >!e!< >!m!< >!c!< >!u!< >!r!< >!i!< >!o!< >!u!< >!s!<

Scientists annoy me, they’re always going on about Boyle’s Law and Archimedes’ Law.

One came up to me and said: “If you had an apple which experiences no net force, then its velocity is constant: the apple is either at rest, or it moves in a straight line with constant speed – Newton’s Law”

So I said “Here’s one for you: If you have an apple, a carrot, a cabbage, mayonnaise ...

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy

The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."

The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the ki...

My boyfriend is always annoyed that I always mix up my directions, and he finally told me to leave,

So I packed my bags and I right left away

My 9 1/2 year-old son came up with this one: What do you call someone you can't stand because all they do is annoy you with question after question?

An askhole.

I didn't even laugh at first. I immediately asked if he'd heard it somewhere. He said he hadn't, that he'd come up with it on his own. When I asked him when he did that, he said it was when we were leaving for church (earlier that day). Then I had a good laugh.

I helped...

A really annoying loophole

A bus carrying many people crashed on an icy road, burst into flames, and everyone died. Upon arrival in heaven, God said, "Since you have died in a terrible way, I'll grant you one wish before I let you into heaven." The first woman, being a person always concerned on her looks, comes up to God and...

I get so annoyed when my wife reminds me to fix something.

If I said I’m going to fix it, I’ll fix it.
There’s no need to remind me about it every three months.

Annoying a vegan...

...is like shooting fish in a barrel. Which annoys them even more

Once upon a time there was a woman married to an annoying man named Steve.

He would complain about everything. One day he went to their creek with his mule. He complained so much that the mule got annoyed and kicked him to death.

At the funeral, when all the men walked by the wife she shook her head yes and every time the women walked by she shook her head no.
...

What's white and annoying at breakfast.

An avalanche.

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A man is suffering from the worst headaches...

From about age 14, a man has been getting more and more intense headaches. They started mildly annoying, but have been consistently getting worse month after month, year after year.

Finally, after about 7 years of troublesome headaches turning into bothersome headaches, turning into debilita...

Thanks to a very healthy lifestyle, a married couple live well into their 100s

One day they are both killed in a tragic accident, and go to heaven.

On the first morning, they go up to God and ask where the gym is. "Gym?" God replies, "you don't need to go to the gym here, you'll always be in perfect shape even if you never exercise." The wife says how nice that is, but...

An investor wishes to purchase a cow

An investor wishes to purchase a cow from a farmer. When he visits the farm, the investor finds the farmer along with 2 cows- One black, one brown. The investor begins to ask the farmer about the cows.

"So how often do you feed them?"

"The black one? Or the brown one?" asks the farmer....

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A Canadian was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.

The Canadian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation.

The American snapped his gum and said, "You Canadian folk eat the whole bread?"

The Canadian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course".

The American...

The entire neighborhood got together to discuss what to do about that crazy guy on our street ...

... I'm a bit annoyed that I was the only one not invited.

My wife was annoyed that I forgot to get bread at the Indian grocery store

I'm not sure what she's so mad about. I see this as a naan-issue.

As a mcdonald's worker I get a lot of idiots going through drive through

As is common for mcdonalds the ice cream machine was down
a customer came in and asked for a strawberry shake, I told him the ice cream machine was down

he then asked for a fudge Sundae, I again told him the ice cream machine was down

next he asked for a vanilla cone, I told him the...

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A redneck and an annoying stranger are sitting next to each other on a 12 hour plane ride...

The stranger is pretty well dressed and, after a few drinks becomes very loud and disruptive. He starts boasting that hes the smartest man on the plane. After a few minutes of unsuccessfully trying to get people to engage with him, a stewardess tells the stranger he needs to be quiet and stop distur...

Annoyed at my constant reminders to stop eating her own body parts,

my wife threw up her hands in frustration.

I think playwrights are really annoying.

They’re always making a scene.

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A father is annoyed at his son who won't stop looking at dad jokes on reddit. "Son! Get your ass down here! double time!" He shouts

As his words hit the air, His son suddenly vanishes, leaving behind only a note.

It reads: "Me and my donkey are now downstairs. The year is 4040"

Where's the annoying neighbor you told me about? I don't see him anymore.

"Hes in the garden"

"Really? "

"Yeah, but you have to dig a bit."

How would you describe an annoyed mother giving birth?

She's having a minor issued.

So my friend got annoyed that I kept singing Pompeii by Bastille, so they told me to stop.

How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

A Newfoundlander was walking home late at night and spots a woman in the shadows.

"Twenty dollars" she whispers.


Perry had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it's only twenty bucks. So they hide in the bushes.


They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It is a police officer.


"What...

Repeat Customer

John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.

"You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!"...

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In Texas, close to the border with Mexico, there was a priest who hated Mexicans

That Sunday, after reading the Bible, the priest started his sermon:

"Today we'll reflect on Peter's lie about being a follower of Jesus. That night, Peter acted as a coward and a liar, just like these damn Mexicans we see every day in this town!"

The whole congregation started to shou...

A 16-year old girl enters a church in tears. “Please father, help me”

“What is it my child?”

“Father, I need your help. I’m pregnant.”

The priest sighed. “I understand my child. You have sinned but you are not the first, nor the last. Our Lord is all-forgiving and I’m here to help you through this. But first I need to understand how it happened.”

...

Broken bridges really annoy me...

I just can't get over them.

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A man is driving home one night and almost falls asleep while driving...

"God dammit," he thought, "I'll never be able to stay awake on the road, and I don't have money for a motel. I'm not gonna risk it, I'll just pull over to the side of the road and take a little nap."

He parks his car just outside of a park, and kicks his seat back. "I don't need much, maybe j...

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A stutterer's wife was getting annoyed of his stutter...

So she asks him to go see a doctor. When the men got to the hospital and explained everything the doctor said:

"Pull down your pants."

"W-why?"

"Just do it."

"O-ok."

"There's the problem. You have a big penis that is pulling down your diaphragm. You will have to do...

COVID-19 jokes are really popular considering what's going on. Have some patience if they annoy you.

They should start to die in a week or so.

Things I do to annoy my wife...

1) Say 'bless yooou' in the same intonation as her 'Atchooo'

2) Sing "Little red corvette... the kind you find in a second-hand store"

3) Bring her an empty plate and say "Oh no, the pasta got too close to the anti-pasta!"

4) Leave a room, fart loudly, return as if nothing's h...

Hodja, a Turkish farmer, is coming home from the marketplace, and as he's entering his home he sees two men he owes money to coming down the road to his house.

Stepping inside, he instructs his wife to tell the two creditors that he isn't home.

The two men arrive and knock on his door, the wife answers and tells them Hodja isn't home. The two men are annoyed, and one says "don't give us that nonsense, we just saw him walk in this door two minutes ag...

The punchline comes before the joke

What is the most annoying thing about a time travel joke?

What's the most annoying kind of potato?

An agitator

A man arrives at a hotel after a long train journey, exhausted. He comes into a communal room and sees three other guys who are drunk and talking loudly.

They are cracking anti-government jokes and laughing at Khrushchev. The man is annoyed that he can't sleep so he hatches a plan. He walks out into a corridor and asks a staff member to bring him a cup of tea. He then comes back into the room and starts talking to the noisy fellows:

"Comrades,...

Couple at a Bull Auction

This couple goes to an agriculture show way out in the countryside on a fine Sunday afternoon and are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off: "A fine specimen, this bull produced 60 times last year." The wife nudges her husband in...

My brother heard they call their mother some other name in the UK. He really wants to know what it is, but I’m not telling him to annoy him.

Mum’s the word.

Translated (badly) Goulash is sitting and relaxing in the stomach...

Goulash is sitting and relaxing in the stomach, when suddenly a tequila falls in. He shrug it off and continue to relax, but after a while a rum falls in and join them.

He do some smalltalk but in general isn't much interested, so he continue to relax on his own. Then vodka falls in and joins...

How does Mrs. Claus describe her husband’s annoying laugh?

Ha ha ha

What did tornado say to it’s annoying twin?

Sigh, clone.

Never try to annoy someone with bird puns.

Because toucan play that game.

One thing that annoys me is that I tend to repeat myself

I just keep saying things I’ve already said.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My annoying little cousin keeps bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed.

Well, joke’s on you, you little shit. I sleep in a real car.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men, Joe and bob, both virgins, died and went to heaven.

God introduces them to the heaven!
“Congrats, you get to enjoy eternal life in heaven.
But you have one rule, never eat apples from the forbidden tree” As god pointed to the tree full of delicious apples.

“Uh, what happens if someone eats from it?” Asked Joe.
God replies, “well, um,...

I like to annoy my Israeli flatmate

By sending him Mail addressing it to the occupier .

Two Brothers and the Priest

Two brothers in a small town were well-known as trouble makers. If there was a problem in town, these boys were guaranteed to be there. Their parents finally decided to do something about it.


They called on the priest. He was known to have success in dealing with problematic behavior. ...

How do you annoy people on Reddit?

[removed]

What do you tell an annoying alcoholic?

Stop whining.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman and her 10 year old son are driving in a taxi at night in Detroit…

It’s raining hard and and all the prostitutes are huddled under an awning. The young boy asks his mom, “what are those ladies doing?” The mom responds, “they’re all waiting for their husbands to get off work.”

The taxi driver is annoyed and responds, “Lady, just tell your son the truth! Th...

A monastery had a rule: No talking whatsoever.

Once a year, there was an exception to the rule. One monk would get chosen to get up and speak.

The first year, Brother Matthew stood up. Naturally, the hall was silent. He stared at his audience for a minute. Then he spoke. "Hot this year, wasn't it?"

With that, he concluded his speec...

My girlfriend is always getting annoyed that I have a rotten sense of direction

I finally snapped, packed up my things and right.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a German Shepherd that comes to crap on my lawn every day. It's really annoying.

Yesterday, it got even worse because he brought all his sheep with him!

How did the swordsman annoy r/jokes?

He feinted. (Sorry)

Friction annoys me.

It's such a drag.

How do you annoy a Pink Floyd fan?

Play their music on shuffle

My dyslexia is a little unique. I often end up reading words backwards, without realising, and it annoys the hell out of people. I sit by my bed and pray every single night for it to go away, "maybe he'll fix it", I thought...

After all, God is a man's best friend.

A blonde woman goes to the shop and sees a TV

She asks the employee if she can buy that TV. The employer says they don’t sell to blondes.

So she dyes her hair brown and comes back with the same request. The employee again says they don’t sell to blondes.

So she dyes her hair black and comes back for a third time. The employee says...

Pain is so annoying.

It really gets on my nerves.

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It really annoys me when people say that Hitler did nothing wrong.

I mean, he lost the war

Most people find unnecessary acronyms annoying

But that's TBE

Best joke for ages.

Stevie Wonder went to play a concert in China, and he began by asking if the audience had any requests. They shouted: "Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"...

Stevie was a little puzzled, but he responded by playing an E minor scale, and then continued with a complex jazz melody that went o...

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It really annoys me when Americans act like they cracked the secret of Nazi codes when they took the Enigma machine off U-751.

Whoops, wrong sub.

My girlfriend started lying to me because of all my bad jokes.

We have always been such a happy couple and everything was fine for 3 years straight. Of course I always felt comfortable in front of her and felt like I can tell her anything. That's where I was wrong.

A few months ago I noticed that she became annoyed by my dumb jokes that were only funny t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Julie asks an annoying man if he wants to hear a joke about her vagina

Man: Hell Yes........
Julie: Nevermind, You will never get it

What was the name of that really annoying scientist?

Isaac Nuisance

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If your wondering whether your going to annoy grammar nazis with your typos

*you are

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How to cure Snoring (Dog & Husband version)

A couple has a dog who snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring.

'Yeah right!" she says.

A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snori...

A man constantly annoys his wife by.....

...referring to her as "Mother of 5" in social situations. Whenever he introduces her or when they are leaving a party, as in "ok, "Mother of 5" time to go home"...one day she has had enough and when he called this out at the end of the church picnic she yelled back "Ok let me get my purse and we'll...

The carbon monoxide detector is getting really annoying

But hey, at least the kids are quiet

An old man used to call his wife "mother of six" since they had 6 children and this nickname kinda annoyed her

"Mother of six, could you bring my coffe?" He would yell to her from the living room.

"Mother of six, is dinner ready?" He would say every night just to mess with her, as he laughed.

She was becoming really angry at him because of this unwanted nickname, until Thanksgiving, where the ...

A camping joke

2 men are camping, when they see it's getting dark outside.

Man 1 pops up his tent. Unfortunately, it only has space for 1 person.

Man 2 is sleeping outside when bears come out. The bears are chased out by Man 2's knife.

Later, the bears come out again. Man 2, again, chases them...

My girlfriend asked me to stop singing I'm a believer by The Monkees, because she found it annoying. At first I thought she was kidding.

But then I saw her face.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last Supper

Near the end of the Last Supper, Jesus and the fellas had finished eating. JC signals the waiter from across the room asking for the bill. People are discussing how they were going to split it but Jesus is like "no sweat guys, this one's on me". There was much rejoicing as our Lord inspected the bi...

A husband and wife were asleep in bed one evening when the phone rang loudly and woke them up. Annoyed, the wife crawled out of bed and picked it up.

“Hello?!” she answered with irritation. “How would I know? We live in the middle of the city, you idiot!”

She hung up the phone and fell back into bed.

“Who was that?” the husband asked groggily.

“Some stupid woman asking if the coast was clear.”

I’m really annoyed by people who get off on arguing over mask wearing.

Damn mask debaters.

Getting all that clay off you would be annoying

If you were a harry potter.

What happens when you annoy a clock?

It gets ticked off.

What did the annoyed doctor say to the annoying patient

Look man I'm losing my patience and if you keep doing this I'm gonna lose evan more

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave wanted to send a letter to his girlfriend.. So he goes to the nearby market to buy an envelope. Just as he is about to enter the store, a man rushes out the market, furious,yelling and swearing.

Dave didn't want to get in the mans way and just lets him pass. He enters the store and finds the cashier, a young lady, crying.

"Is everything alright? Did that man hurt you?", Dave asked.

"No no, everything is alright.", she says as she wipes her tears. "How can i help you?"

"...

What do you call an annoying 10-year-old in New Zealand?

A decade.

A dog lover, whose female dog was in heat, agreed to look after her neighbor’s male dog while the neighbor was on vacation.

She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart.

As she was drifting off to sleep late that night she heard awful howling and moaning sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs passionately locked together.

Despite her best attempts she was unable to se...

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