The 104+ Best Annoy Jokes

My Boyfriend said I’m starting to annoy him because I relate everything to Batman….

What a joker!!!

How do you annoy a Texan?

Just say your power grid is working!

My wife asked if she has any annoying habits...

... and then she got all offended during the PowerPoint presentation

Isn't it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers?

It's stupid. You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves baristas.

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A young man walks into a bar looking annoyed and sullen. "What's the matter, son?" asks an older patron.

The young man sighs.

"I have a girlfriend who's very nice and very pretty."

"So? What's the problem?"

"Actually, she's not just pretty. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever met in my life."

"That sounds great."

"Not only that, she also adores me and wants to b...

I was walking with my girlfriend when a random guy whistled at her and said "nice ass". She was clearly annoyed and demanded I say something.

So I turned around and said: "Thank you I've been doing squats"

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Little Timmy was annoyed by his father

because whenever he was ahead in an argument, his father would just say - Whatever dude, I fucked your mum.

And he couldn't think of a good comeback, so he asked his Uncle Jim for help.

Uncle Jim said - Well, next time he say this to you, you say that I've been deeper in her than he ev...

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How do you annoy an archaeologist?

Give him a used tampon and ask him what period its from

I told my wife a joke about blocking a river but she got annoyed.

I said “why are you so upset? it’s just a dam joke”

How do you annoy a skeleton?

You can't! Nothing gets under their skin.

I'm annoyed by people with no feet

Guess I'm lack toes intolerant

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My annoying little cousin keeps bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed.

Well, joke’s on you, you little shit. I sleep in a real car.

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Getting really fucking annoyed now!

This is the 6th ATM I've been to, that's had "insufficient funds".

As a woman it's annoying when men think they are better drivers

When I'm trying to park I don't need you to offer help every 20 minutes

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All of the suggested ads I'm seeing online today are for Viagra and it's frustrating and annoying.

I think they're just trying to get a rise out of me.

What is white and annoying while having food?

An avalanche

How did the swordsman annoy r/jokes?

He feinted. (Sorry)

Bugs annoy people in the Pokémon games,

but entertain people in the Space Jam movies.

My mum got really annoyed when I tried to tickle my little sister's feet...

she said something about 'waiting till she was born'.

My girlfriend asked me to stop singing I'm a believer by The Monkees, because she found it annoying. At first I thought she was kidding.

But then I saw her face.

My Girlfriend has been repeatedly asking me “Are you a character from Alice in Wonderland?” and it’s getting really annoying

My Friend asked me “Are you mad at her?”

I replied “Don’t you start too”

I'm annoyed because my parrot is mocking me.

I'm annoyed because my parrot is mocking me

My friends get annoyed when I post in italics.

*I guess it's a bit too right-leaning for them*

A really annoying loophole

A bus carrying many people crashed on an icy road, burst into flames, and everyone died. Upon arrival in heaven, God said, "Since you have died in a terrible way, I'll grant you one wish before I let you into heaven." The first woman, being a person always concerned on her looks, comes up to God and...

Does anyone else remember seeing the Annoying Orange on YouTube?

I sure do.

He was in the white house for four years.

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What's the most annoying thing about carpenter porn?

The ads about hot shingles in your area.

How do you annoy people on Reddit?

[removed]

My girlfriend loves to eat chocolate. She’s always eating chocolate, and she likes to joke she’s got a chocolate addiction. "Get me away from those Hersheys bars. I’m addicted to them." It’s really annoying.

So I put her in a car and I drove her downtown. And I pointed out a crack addict. And I said, "Do you see that, honey?... Why can’t you be that skinny?

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What’s old, annoying and only fucks you twice a year?

Daylight savings time

My brother started making terrible bird puns to annoy me...

But toucan play at that game

My 9 1/2 year-old son came up with this one: What do you call someone you can't stand because all they do is annoy you with question after question?

An askhole.

I didn't even laugh at first. I immediately asked if he'd heard it somewhere. He said he hadn't, that he'd come up with it on his own. When I asked him when he did that, he said it was when we were leaving for church (earlier that day). Then I had a good laugh.

I helped...

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A redneck and an annoying stranger are sitting next to each other on a 12 hour plane ride...

The stranger is pretty well dressed and, after a few drinks becomes very loud and disruptive. He starts boasting that hes the smartest man on the plane. After a few minutes of unsuccessfully trying to get people to engage with him, a stewardess tells the stranger he needs to be quiet and stop distur...

I miss the days when the Annoying Orange was just a fictional youtube character

And not the President of the United States.

The Naked Hippie

This joke is one i came up with to annoy my wife. She hates it lol.

A naked man walks into a tailor's shop. The tailor screams at him. "Hey, get out of my store! You can't come in here like that." The man replies, "awww, c'mon dude....cut me some slacks."

The end

How do you get someone to do something annoying 18 times in a row?

>!y!< >!o!< >!u!< >!m!< >!a!< >!k!< >!e!< >!t!< >!h!< >!e!< >!m!< >!c!< >!u!< >!r!< >!i!< >!o!< >!u!< >!s!<

What's the most annoying thing about being a necrophiliac?

Your girlfriend never returns your calls.

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A stutterer's wife was getting annoyed of his stutter...

So she asks him to go see a doctor. When the men got to the hospital and explained everything the doctor said:

"Pull down your pants."

"W-why?"

"Just do it."

"O-ok."

"There's the problem. You have a big penis that is pulling down your diaphragm. You will have to do...

I've come to learn that every groupchat has a separate, smaller groupchat, just without the annoying people.

If you think yours doesn't, then i have some bad news.

Once upon a time there was a woman married to an annoying man named Steve.

He would complain about everything. One day he went to their creek with his mule. He complained so much that the mule got annoyed and kicked him to death.

At the funeral, when all the men walked by the wife she shook her head yes and every time the women walked by she shook her head no.
...

I just opened up a gym where my entire staff asks you a series of annoying questions every so often for the length of your stay.

Welcome to Jehovah's Fitness.

What's the difference between harass and annoy?

I have never had my finger in annoy.

Why are pediatricians always so annoyed?

Because they have very little patients

In what state are babies less annoying?

Liquid

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A father is annoyed at his son who won't stop looking at dad jokes on reddit. "Son! Get your ass down here! double time!" He shouts

As his words hit the air, His son suddenly vanishes, leaving behind only a note.

It reads: "Me and my donkey are now downstairs. The year is 4040"

Things I do to annoy my wife...

1) Say 'bless yooou' in the same intonation as her 'Atchooo'

2) Sing "Little red corvette... the kind you find in a second-hand store"

3) Bring her an empty plate and say "Oh no, the pasta got too close to the anti-pasta!"

4) Leave a room, fart loudly, return as if nothing's h...

Broken bridges really annoy me...

I just can't get over them.

What do you call an annoying teenager?

A minor inconvenience.

I'm annoyed with my loud obnoxious neighbour.

Now I know how Canada feels.

My boyfriend is always annoyed that I always mix up my directions, and he finally told me to leave,

So I packed my bags and I right left away

My brother heard they call their mother some other name in the UK. He really wants to know what it is, but I’m not telling him to annoy him.

Mum’s the word.

I like to annoy my Israeli flatmate

By sending him Mail addressing it to the occupier .

An old man used to call his wife "mother of six" since they had 6 children and this nickname kinda annoyed her

"Mother of six, could you bring my coffe?" He would yell to her from the living room.

"Mother of six, is dinner ready?" He would say every night just to mess with her, as he laughed.

She was becoming really angry at him because of this unwanted nickname, until Thanksgiving, where the ...

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If your wondering whether your going to annoy grammar nazis with your typos

*you are

What happens when you annoy a clock?

It gets ticked off.

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My brother has this really annoying habit of telling me about other girls butts. [OC]

My brother has this really annoying habit of telling me about other girls butts. Whenever we are walking in public and he sees a girl he likes, he always says, “Look at that ass tho.”

After years of getting fed up with his comments, I decide to make him a sculpture for his birthday. I carved ...

So it is possible to just slap a comedian that annoys you.

You don't need to destroy their whole country.

Do you know how annoying it is to drill small holes?

Only a little bit.

COVID-19 jokes are really popular considering what's going on. Have some patience if they annoy you.

They should start to die in a week or so.

I saw an article that said annoying people have a great sense of humor.

I found that really funny because- oh.

I annoyed my friend so he mixed up my Tic Tacs.

That's one of his Tac Tics.

I'm really annoyed, my wifes sister sat on my glasses and broke them!

to be fair, it was probably my fault for leaving them on

I finally fixed that annoying noise in my car.

I opened the door and pushed her out.

Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?

They dribble all the time.

My wife's really annoyed with me.

I put a stick in a non-stick pan.

What do u call an annoying zen master from Hungary?

Buddhapest

Why did the Earthling find the Mercurian so annoying?

They were sick of listening to them complain about first world problems

It's annoying how nothing is made in the USA anymore.

I just bought a TV, and it wrote "Built in Antenna" on the box.

An annoying thing on reddit

It annoys me when people don’t proliferate on reddit.

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A woman and her annoying nephew entered a lawn bowling contest.

The sun was out, the grounds had been immaculately prepared and every retiree within city limits had turned out for the event. Pearl had to admit that she was feeling better about the day now that it had finally arrived.

A few weeks ago when her delinquent of a sister had foisted her awful...

Why do inquisitive peppers annoy people?

Because they get jalapeño business.

Many people think hedges are annoying.

But why beat around the bush?

Annoying husband

Husband says: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Wife says: I clean the toilet...
Husband says: How does that help?
Wife says: I use your Toothbrush.....

The carbon monoxide detector is getting really annoying

But hey, at least the kids are quiet

How do you inconspicuously annoy someone with a stupid joke?

I'm asking for a freind.

Ugh, it's so annoying. I could care less...

...about using the term "I could care less" properly.

I get annoyed when people say that us programmers have a superiority complex.

It's not a complex, you idiots

There were these college seniors chillin in the classroom. One of the boys was makin the other two annoyed.

At one point, the annoying boy says, “whatever, I could take you both at the same time.” The other boys get up and ball up their fists.

The annoying boy looked confused, then it hit him and he said,”ooh, y’all thought I was talkin about fightin huh?”

I get very annoyed when people mix up there, their, and they're.

From now on I'm going two point it out weather they like it or not

Walking is super annoying to learn.

It always takes more than 2 steps to figure out.

What do you call a paranoid and annoying person?

Karenoid.

My fried just got engaged to her boyfriend, Peter, and was gushing about how in love she is. Obviously the first thing out of my mouth was "oh, so you're a massive Peterphile!" Apparently that was "inappropriate" and now she's annoyed with me.

This is actually a true story, so hope it's okay that it's not in a standard joke format.

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What is the most annoying thing after sex?

Hiding the dead body.

People say vegans are annoying

But I've never had any beef with them.

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My wife does this really annoying thing when she’s having sex…

…she calls me up.

Annoying Mole

Mary looks out her kitchen window and sees that a mole has practically destroyed the back lawn, so she tells her husband, Paddy, to go out and kill it and to show no mercy. After ten minutes, Paddy comes back into the house with an evil grin on his face.

"So," says Mary, "did you drown the fe...

My ex always used to annoy me by saying I have terrible aim for a hitman.

I miss her.

How to deal with annoying dog

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs. She finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is s...

If someone does something to annoy you, DONT just be passive aggressive about.

Unlike SOME people I know.

Friction annoys me.

It's such a drag.

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Man made climate change is really annoying me!

I wish the jerks that keep changing the climate would just set it at 70 degrees Fahrenheit year round and be done with it!

Annoyed at my constant reminders to stop eating her own body parts,

my wife threw up her hands in frustration.

I get so annoyed when my wife reminds me to fix something.

If I said I’m going to fix it, I’ll fix it.
There’s no need to remind me about it every three months.

What did tornado say to it’s annoying twin?

Sigh, clone.

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The last girl I dated reminded me a lot of a cat, she would annoy me for attention, but ignore me once I gave it to her...

...the difference is that I never woke up with her asshole in my face.

My Anti-Vax neighbor's one year old son is so annoying.

He cries all the time, seems like he is going through a midlife crisis.

Getting all that clay off you would be annoying

If you were a harry potter.

A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret that I cannot remember which one you are.

Please keep your photo and return the others.”

Once I got annoyed with my Nokia and threw it at the wall

Now I'm in jail for murdering my neighbour

Did you hear about the thief who got annoyed by wooden barriers?

He took a fence.

What do you call an annoying german kid?

A BratWurst

My girlfriend is always getting annoyed that I have a rotten sense of direction

I finally snapped, packed up my things and right.

My wife was annoyed that I forgot to get bread at the Indian grocery store

I'm not sure what she's so mad about. I see this as a naan-issue.

I need a few brief jokes to tell to a group of elderly people. The punchlines need to be easily understood, and they need to be clean and not making fun of anyone with any kind of disability. Have any brief and fairly original jokes?

This one is good, although I’ll probably have to emphasize the ‘mispronouncing words’ part, and instead of blonde, the dummy will be me:

*A blonde is flying in a Boeing for the first time. She starts jumping on her seat shouting "Boeing Boeing Boeing".
The pilot, clearly annoyed by this, w...

So my friend got annoyed that I kept singing Pompeii by Bastille, so they told me to stop.

How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

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