Crickets Jokes - 15 Hilarious Crickets Jokes

My friend gets crickets when he needs to feed his pet scorpion. Do you know when I get crickets?

Every time I tell a joke.

Crickets.....

What did the cricket say to the other cricket?
*cue cricket sounds

Literal crickets sounds*
Tough crowd huh?

A female cricket walks into a room full of male crickets

\*crickets\*

TIL crickets only do their iconic "yelling" chirp in the presence of wild moths. Unfortunately, my cricket has none.

He has no moth and he must scream.

I tried telling some jokes to an audience of crickets...

I have no idea if they were funny.

I like crickets

They always laugh at my jokes.

Why did the blind lady fall into a well?

Because she couldn't see that well.

*crickets, crickets*

A man goes to prison

During his first night, he hears his fellow inmates shouting out.

“37!” Everyone laughs.

“18!” Everyone laughs again.

He asks his cellmate what that’s all about.

“Oh, we’ve been in here so long that we’ve numbered the jokes. Give it a try.”

“63!” No response. H...

A man goes to prison for robbery.

After getting sorted, processed, and settled, it's lights out and he gets ready to sleep. After a few minutes he hears someone yell out "Forty Six!" and the whole cell block erupts in laughter. A few more moments pass and someone else calls out "Sixteen!" and again, the whole cell block starts laugh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During my visit to Bruxelles over the weekend, I was offered a burger made from insects and everyone assured me it tasted 100% like the real thing.

I thought "Fuck, how do those guys in Belgium know how crickets taste?"

I just made a joke about the EU's decision to allow insects in food.

[crickets]

I put out a poll to see if anyone out there was interested in insect based burgers.

All I’m hearing is crickets!

Why do bullfrogs love terrible comedians?

----------?

*crickets*

Told a joke to a bunch of bugs

And I’ll heard was crickets…

Guy gets sent to prison. 1st night, someone yells 39, whole prison laughs. Next night, someone yells 2, prison again erupts in laughter. Guy asks lifer what gives. Lifer explains there’s a joke book, been passed around for years. Dudes memorize # & corresponding joke. Guy gets book & memorizes a few

That night he yells, 24!!! Nothing...

Next night, 9!! Crickets

He asks the lifer the next day what’s happening...

Lifer says: some people just can’t tell jokes

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