UPJOKE
ugandanairobiethiopiaafricatanzaniamombasanigerialake victoriasomaliacameroonghanazambiazanzibarlake turkanaindian ocean

I'm Hungary

Timmy: I'm Hungary,

Mum: Why don't you Czech the fridge.

Timmy: OK I'm Russian to the kitchen.

Mum: Hmmm.. may be you'll find some Turkey.

Timmy: Yeah but its all covered in Greece. yuck!

Mum: There is Norway you can eat that.

Timmy: I know, I guess I'...

How dads of kenya motivates their kids?

by saying: 'kenya do this?'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A well-to-do woman was on a safari around Kenya.

As the visited a remote village she was pestered by enormous black flies just buzzing around her face.
She turned to the guide and asked "What is it with these flies everywhere?"
The guide replied "Ah yes Missy, these are Bum Bum flies"
"What an odd name" she replied.
"Yess Miss...

my wife left me because i'm obssesed with africa

kenya believe it?

and we have two kids together, this divorce is ghana be so hard on them

In 1996, Peter was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college.

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.



He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in...

I visited Kenya...

I was in Kenya for holiday and decided to visit a poor village. There I met a married couple who told me about their everyday life. The wife told how she makes clothes for a living and makes 1.75 dollars a day. The husband was a farmer who only made 2 dollars a day.

It broke my heart. I felt ...

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Kenya

at the Carnivore Restaurant and the place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience, He asks if anyone would like him to play a request.

A little old Kikuyu man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a Jazz ch...

Kenya?

Yukon.

Definite proof Obama is related to Kenya

They both can't rap.

Have you seen Mike Ol'Kenya?

Mike Ol'Kenya mouth

Hunter...

Two hunters fly to Kenya, where they bag six gazelles. As the crew is loading the small plane to return, the pilot says the aircraft can take only four gazelles back.

“Last time, the pilot let us take all six, and he had the same plane as yours,” argues the first hunter.

Reluctantly, t...

What do you call the western half of Kenya?

Kenya West

I booked an hotel in kenya on walking distance from the beach...

You can't imagine how far those kenyans will walk.
[source: philip geubels, Belgian comedian]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Seeing Kenya on a map is like seeing a pussy for the first time.

It's lower than I thought it was.

I cant recollect names of any African countries..

Kenya?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

doping olympics [translated from an old Russian anecdote, 2007]

Good day! We are reporting live from our special Olympics. At our Olympics there's no doping control at all. Yes, you heard it right, sportsmen are NOT tested for doping. Absolutely. So...


- Finnish sportsman has jumped 27 meters. A very good result indeed for a chess player.

- 13 ...

I went to on vacation to Africa to get some local music and almonds.

My friend asked me "what country did you go to and what did you get?"

He got upset, when I answered

"Kenya, CD's, nuts"

What kind of exercises are all the rage in Kenya?

Anairobics.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everything is at stake during this year's Ms Universe final. But Ms Kenya keeps stepping on Ms Australia's foot...

Ah! Kenya fucken not mate!

You're probably Ghana think"no one will Bolivia. There's just Norway."

I thought I Kuwait but then I Saudi Turkey, Iraq of ribs and a Canada best sauce and my Bahrain was like Oman, I Israel Hungary... so Iran to the kitchen to put Greece in the pan.

I hoped it could get Finnish quickly and because I was Russian, I didn't Czech the label and accidentally added ...

You think you can donate to an African country?

Well... Kenya?

"Can you tell me the name of an African country ?"

"- I don't know... Kenya ?"

Why did Africa pull a prank on Europe?

He thought he was GHANA get away with it. KENYA blame him? He's BENIN worse situations before. OMAN, I gotta stop. I can't BELIZE i'm saying these words right now. There's NORWAY anybody is gonna find this funny. Nothing ISRAEL to me anymore. How much do you want TIBET this will get downvoted to obl...

in response to a deleted post: How do you apologise when you're wrong? [knock knock joke]

Me: knock knock
(assuming they're still speaking to me and know what to say next)
Them: Who's there?
Me: Kenya Fork
Them: ...Kenya Fork who?
Me: Ken ya forg-ive me?! I'm sorry

(Works well to distract them from the fact that you were wrong about something by the lameness of the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and pulls a minuscule person out of his pocket

They sit at one of the tables, waiting for a friend of theirs. Meanwhile, they order drinks: a whisky for the man, and a thimble of whisky for Peter, his minuscule friend.
The person they were waiting for arrives, and they start talking about the pair's last travel:
-The landscapes in Keny...

Did you know Obama was from Hawaii

Kenya believe it?

I'm really glad that Obama won in 2008 and was able to be the first black president of the United States of America

his back up job was to be the first white president of Kenya.

Its not surprising that Republicans lost two presidental races to Obama

In long races usually the guy from Kenya wins.

Map jokes

How do you get around in Italy? You Rome.
Why does everyone love Thailand? They Bangkok.
I Congo to Africa, Kenya?
Why do the French take there time? They hate to Russia
What's the unhappiest state? Misery
Who are the unhappiest Europeans? The Hungary ones.
Why are the so many Subw...

A research group was engaged in a study..

A research group was engaged in a study of longevity in mammals and had recently focused their attention on a particular species of porpoise, which they studied from their floating laboratory off the coast of Baja Mexico. They came to believe that, if fed just the right combination of nutrients, thi...

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