An agricultural inspector goes to a farm to carry out field tests and inspections.
He calls out in the yard but no one comes so decides to carry on with his inspection. He arrives at the first gate and is about to open it when he hears a shout from the other side of the field.
“YOU CAN’T GO IN THERE!!!!”
He looks over and sees the farmer on an opposite gate so he s...
I spilled the bag of coffee at work.
My boss said it was Grounds for dismissal.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
An Outbreak Causes an Early Dismissal at the School
Little Edgar is brought back to class from ISS. As he enters the room, Edgar hears his teacher instruct the students.
Teacher: The same water is in your homes, so to prevent yourselves from being infected with E. Coli, don't drink or brush your teeth with any water that has not been boiled.<...
The Price of Dismissal
An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present...
Follow the rules
A large corporation with expansive grounds interviewed a tribe of reformed cannibals for the outdoor maintenance positions. During the interview process, they were told, "You'll receive full benefits as employees, but you're not allowed to eat anybody, which would result in immediate dismissal and c...
Putin and the Journalist
With the Russian Elections coming up, a reporter asks Russian President Vladimir Putin a question at a press conference.
"With Hillary Clinton almost becoming president, and Kamala Harris being elected the Vice President in the United States, do you think that a Russian woman could ever rise ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
While a Teacher was educating her class on how to recognize con artists she noticed one of her students looking down
She pauses her lecture and walks next to the desk of the gloomy child.
"Dear what seems to be the problem?" She asks
The student looks up and says "my mother is in the hospital and my dad is in the police station"
"Oh dear god, you should be at home instead of school! Here I'll ...
An alcoholic sees a blonde nurse
An alcoholic walks into a nurses office. The blonde nurse asks "What seems to be the problem?". So the alcoholic says "I've been having a rough, scratchy feeling in my throat lately". She asks "Well that do you mostly eat and drink?". He replies "Mostly scotch". The alcoholic sees the nurses' eyes w...
Day in court
In the traffic court of a large city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer for a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to the judge that she was a schoolteacher and requested an immediate dismissal of her case so she could get to the school on time.
There are dedicated detectives who investigate especially heinous crimes as members of an elite squad known as the SVU. This is one of their less successful stories...
In a stake-out operation at a local bar, an undercover SVU officer was approached by Eva, an exotic dancer, who offered him a private lap dance in the back room. Within seconds, before starting her routine, she was arrested and charged with solicitation.
Later at trial, her defence lawyer i...
Three New Zealanders and three Australians are at a train station...
The Aussies notice that the Kiwis only bought 1 train ticket between the three of them.
"How exactly do you three plan on travelling with one ticket?" one asked.
"None of your business, mate" said one of the Kiwis.
Skeptical, the Aussies watched them as they boarded the train, t...
I got fired from Starbucks for not changing the coffee filters.
It was grounds for dismissal.
Remain Calm :)
An Emergency Call Centre worker has been fired in Toronto much to the dismay of her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal.
It seems that a caller dialled 911 from a cell phone stating, "I am depressed and lying on a railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet Alla...
I was recently fired from my job operating rides at the carnival
My lawyer has advised suing for funfair dismissal
What scares a caterpillar?
A dog-erpillar! (From a 3rd grader at dismissal yesterday!)