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Coz Jokes

Apparently loads of people turned away from voting for Trump coz he wanted to ban shredded cheese

He wanted to Make America Grate again.

Son: why is my sister called Teresa?

Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram

Son: Thanks dad

Dad: No problem Alan

Why does Greta Thunberg love this sub?

Coz of the amount of reused content here.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter...

Dear Ma & Pa,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6 am. But...

A husband is divorcing his wife coz she poured glue all over his firearms...

He says "She denies it, but I am sticking to my guns"

My wife locked me outside the house coz she got tired of my wordplay jokes

I texted her "Oh Pun the door"

It is mean to make fun of Trump for using both hands to drink coz of his injury

He touched The Bible a few weeks ago and the injury hasn't healed yet.

My grandmother used to tell me not to laugh at other's condition coz we might be in their position one day.

So I started to laugh at Jeff Bezos everyday.

What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?

HeHe...

Im making bad chemistry jokes coz all the good ones argon

Me:- Boss i am not coming into work to day coz i am sick.

Boss:- How sick are you?

Me:- Well i am in bed with my sister

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Hey girl, are you from Iraq?

Coz you look Saddam fine when you Baghdad ass up.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Coz it's a chi-can not a chi-can't

The stolen credit card.

Police: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: Coz the thief was spending less than my wife.

Police:Then why are you reporting it now?

Man: Well, I think now the thief's wife has started to use it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why vegans don't moan during sex

It's coz they're afraid to admit that some meat makes them happy

Why did the baker have brown fingers?

Coz he kneaded a poo.

If you commit sin 90 times you are most likely to be caught half of the time

Coz sin 90=cot 45

Why are fewer people going into archeology?

Coz career advancement is in ruins.

A Muslim walks into a bar..

..and orders water, coz he can drink now.

*Eid Mubarak*

three brainteasers to sharpen your mind

**Q1 : how do you put an elephant in a refrigerator in three steps ?**

Answer :

1. you open the refrigerator
2. you put the elephant in
3. you close the refrigerator

**Q2 : how do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator in four steps ?** ...

Why did Will Smith slap Chris at Oscars instead of punching

Coz Paper beats Rock.

Why is prostitution illegal?

Coz when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want any competition.

Why can't a nose be 12 inches

Coz then it would be a foot


Yea I'm an expert at dad jokes but am not dat funny

Why is Thor always showy?

Coz he doesn't like to be Loki...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?

Coz they've no balls to scratch

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When I was 12, I lived with my abusive uncle and auntie

We lived on an old farm, no animals just fields.

My uncle goes off to a market and comes back with this filthy ass horse.

Says it's bred from some old bloke's prize stallion.

Auntie loves it for some reason, coz it's all muddy she calls it "Dirty". She was a bit weird l...

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Why does Japan have low birth and obesity rates?

Coz the last time they saw a fat man and a little boy 200,000 people died.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Justice is best served cold

Coz if it were warm, it’d be Justwater.

you know whose divorce will be most dangerous

Nuclear physicist coz the judge will split his assets..

Why does noone laugh when Queen Elizabeth farts?

Coz noble gases have no reactions.

Are you todays date?

'Coz you're 01/10.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my gf today...

Did you work at a chicken farm?

coz you know how to raise a cock

Well, we can’t use the expression ‘avoid it like the plague’ anymore.....

Coz apparently humans do not do that.

Do you know why, in France they only eat one egg for breakfast?

Coz it’s un oeuf.

Courtesy: The Trial Of The Chicago 7

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why shouldn't you fuck with Time ?

Coz he's relative

Why does the starship enterprise smell bad?

Coz William Shat-n-er

When people question you on your financial status

Hey look.. I don't check my bank balance coz I don't need that negative energy in my life

Random thought

Pregnant horses can run faster, coz they have two horse power.

Boy: Why are girls so much hotter than boys?

Girl: Coz boys have two 5watt bulbs and one 40watt tube, whereas girls have two 500watt bulbs and one 3000watt oven.

Hey y'all, I tried my best to convert this from Hindi to English.

Why is the US #1?

Coz most kids from public schools in the US can't count any further.

Ambitious Johnny

Teacher: Johnny, what do you want to be when you grow old?

Little Johnny: Doctor !!

Teacher: Why?

Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The baby without ears.

Little Johnny’s neighbor had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny’s family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the ba...

As a 39 old guy, I felt proud for coming up with this joke. (My 8-yr old ugggghhhhh'ed at it)

Q: Why did fifteen (15) started running away?

A: Coz he heard "thirteen fa(u)rtin.."

^(PS: You have to say it) *^(just)* ^(right)

Why do British people love playing chess?

Coz no-one can kill their Queen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the diamond so good at sex?

Coz diamonds last forever

My wife and I share a sense of humour...

Coz we have to...She doesn’t have one.

Wife and I were having an argument ..

Wife: You should listen to me.

Me: Oh yeah, why is that?

Wife: Coz I have ovaries!

Me: Is that why you Ovary Act?

Question, why spongebob have many holes

Answer: coz squidward have 6 tentacles

You know why witches don't wear panties?

Coz they gotta grip the broom...

How did Tiger Woods manage to burn down his house?

Coz he got rid of all his hose.

Why don't chickens tell their eggs any jokes?

Coz it would crack them up.

Why serial killers only kill one person at a time

Coz if they killed more they would be parallel killers.

Why did the cannibal throw the disabled kid in a tub of hot water

Coz vegetables taste better when they’re boiled

I got turned on by Jennifer Lopez last night

That might be coz I’m a Fan

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stop saying “grow a pair”

Balls are weak. Instead say “grow a vagina” - coz it can take a pounding

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A marriage counsellor is holding a group session and asks the husbands what bird would best describe their wife..

The first husband says "well my wife reminds me of a swan" .. "why is that" asks the counsellor , "because she's beautiful and graceful" replies the husband


The second husband says "I think an owl best describes my wife" "really"? says the counsellor , "yes because she is wise and int...

In the future, whenever they try to give examples of what can go wrong due to bad decisions, they will point to this year...

Coz hindsight is 2020.

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Coz i put on the wrong sock today.

If I was an ant, where would I live?

In an engine, coz I'd be a coolant

Why do vampires like single proprietorship model of ownership?

Coz, they are afraid of stake-holders!

Jack: Seriously Edith, your excuses are lame. It's clear that you are only trying to make people think you are special.

Edit: That's stupid, Jack. I removed the H from my name coz it saves ink in my printer.

Why should you not drink water during chemistry class?

Coz it decreases your concentration.

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