UPJOKE
coincurrencymoneycounterfeitpromissory notefiat moneycentral banklegal tendergreenbackbillbankcashprintingcoinageguilder

Banknotes Jokes

two blondes want to forge banknotes

Two blondes want to forge banknotes. They can't decide whether to forge $50 or $100 banknotes - they argue a little and then they settle to a compromise: to forge $60 banknotes. They want to first test it on their blonde neighbour: so one of them goes to the neighbour - after a while she returns, sm...

I don't think you should make all of our different banknotes out of mushrooms!

Why not? Certainly you understand that money is fungible!

It was an ordinary day during the hyperinflation of 1923 in Germany.

And your friendly neighborhood Hans was coming back home from work, carrying his pay in a large basket.

Unfortunately, Hans got mugged.

The robbers tipped out the banknotes and ran off with the basket!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irishman goes to the doctor's surgery ...

and he says to the doctor "Top o' the morning Doc, I've got a little problem. It's a pain like, in me arse."

So the doctor says "Well we'd better have a look at it. Take your trousers and pants down."

After the patient assumes the position the doctor gets a rubber glove, some lubrican...

An old lady in her deathbed calls her husband for something important

"George, I want you to go in the attic and open the third drawer of the black polished furniture.
I want you to bring me what you find there."

The husband goes upstairs in the attic and finds the furniture near the entrance, he opens the third drawer and finds an egg box with 3 eggs in it,...

I was walking home drunk when I came across some people collecting for charity.

I don't know why they got so upset when I vomited in their bucket of coins and banknotes.

They had clearly labelled it: FOR THE SICK.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A businessman is convinced by a work colleague to go out for a drink after work... 'OK, but just the one mind you, my wife gets terribly upset if I come home drunk!'

After a couple in the pub near the office he is talked into heading up town for some more drinks. At each new round of drinks he mentions that he shouldn't drink any more or his wife will make his life hell!


Finally they decide that they've had enough to drink and head for the train stati...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Anticlimactic Lager (oj)

(*I just made up this joke, it takes a bit of patience but let me know if it's worth it. Either way, keep smiling!*)

Michael was a rich, eccentric and naive beer enthusiast. He journeyed around the world in search of rare lagers.

Once, on a trip to India, he came across a small bar. Be...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.