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Contamination Jokes

Even during COVID, my church insists we line up and kiss the statue of Jesus on the Crucifix.

Have they never heard of cross contamination!?

Why did the Romans bring bleach to Jesus’s crucifixion?

To prevent cross contamination.

Recently, there was a cross contamination with a life cereal factory that's next to an edibles factory

Now I get why people are saying they're high on life.

Why wasn't Jesus allowed to return to his food service job after he was crucified?

They were afraid of *cross*\-contamination

If a cup has had holy water in it, a vampire should never drink from it again.

There's too much risk of cross contamination.

Oldest cake joke

A rabbit visits a bakery and asks if they make carrot cake.

The baker says they don't, so the rabbit buys a key lime pie.

This repeats several days until the baker is sick of it and decides to try making one.

The next time the rabbit enters, the baker proudly tells that they do ...

It was early in the COVID-19 pandemic, and

Father Michael was walking through St. Patrick's Cathedral. He noticed an altar boy furiously scrubbing the crucifix. He asked the boy what he was doing, and the boy said "I'm trying to prevent cross contamination. "

Why didn’t the Romans reuse their crosses?

Because that would have caused cross contamination.

How did Jesus get sick?

Cross contamination

I work on a lettuce farm in Arizona...

Last week an FDA team showed up and shut us down on the back of reports that our produce was making people sick. After weeks of exhaustive investigation they found that the fence around our farm perimeter contained extremely toxic amounts of the chemical element Rhenium, and as the fenceposts aged t...

Beware

CORONA VIRUS WARNING!!!!

I don't want to alarm anyone but the coronavirus will soon spread in an irreversible way.
The first means of contamination are bank notes, don't touch them. Wear gloves and place all notes in a snap lock bag. Leave them in your letterbox and message me your address...

The Catholic church is considering going all-in on gluten-free wafers

At risk is cross-contamination.

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