This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How I got banned from the strip club for giving a tip. (Long story)

I saw this patron at the club often buying a hundred pack of one dollar bills.

He would break open the pack and toss them all up in the air and shout **"Let it Rain"**

All the girls would scramble to pick up all the money and all you saw was ass and titts eveywhere for about 20 second...

I saw a woman driving with her hazards on.

And I thought to myself, "At least she's honest."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two prostitutes are discussing the hazards of their job

One says, "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

"No, but I've been slung around by the tits."

Myrtle and the Beetle

Myrtle is driving her Volkswagon Beetle down the road and sees another little old lady, also with a Beetle, pulled over with the hazards on. Myrtle pulls over and asks, "Is everything ok?"

The other lady replies, "My darn Beetle has broken down. I popped the bonnet and it looks like the whole...

Health Education

Appropriate analogy: “The curve is flattening so we can start lifting restrictions now” = “The parachute has slowed our rate of descent, so we can take it off now”.

There are two critical factors in the spread of Coronavirus. 1. How dense is the population. 2. How dense is the population.
...

A taxi driver swerved around a corner at high speeds. “Just a bad turn” I think.

A little while goes by and I feel the g-forces of another fast turn. I look at the road ahead and think “hmmm no hazards”. Looking ahead I notice another turn and brace myself. After getting slammed into the door I speak up and say “dude can you go slower around the corners or something” he responds...

HOW TO DRIVE IN ATLANTA

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, Atlana. Old-timers are still allowed to call it Alana.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on I-285 is...

Why is it so common for dams to be built upstream of towns? (OC)

When the mayor is informed about the possible flood hazards they say "damn it."

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Golf Truisims

* Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

* Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during
your swing.

* When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use
one more club or two more balls.

* If you're afraid a ful...

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New metals are added to chemistry

A new metal is added to chemistry:

• NAME

- Husband

• SYMBOL:

- Hb

• ATOMIC WEIGHT:

1. Light when found first
2. Tends to get heavier over the years with time

• PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Boils at any time with inlaws
2. Can...

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