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Contaminated Jokes

What contaminated the fish tank?

Baby shark doo doo doo doo dooo

What do you get when you drink a contaminated 6-pack?

A Coronavirus.

How do you deal with an intern who's depressed because he just pricked his finger with a HIV contaminated needle?

You'll give him the PEP talk.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

News report: Source of tainted Viagra found to be contaminated shipping containers still in use from Soviet-era East Germany.

Proving once and for all Russian interference in American erections.

Why did Jesus Christ get fired from the kosher deli?

Because he Cross contaminated all the food

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An exotically dressed prostitute is perusing the meat section of the supermarket, looking perplexed.

The butcher walks over to her and asks, “Can I help you find something?”

The prostitute explains that she while she was selecting some chicken to grill, she realized she wasn’t sure if the meat was from a hen or rooster.

Surprised, the butcher replies, “You know, I’d never considered...

A Chemist, an Engineer, an Electrician and an IT guy get stranded on the side of the road after their car break down...

It’s the dead of winter and the wind chill is below freezing. One of them gets off the phone with the towing company, “they said it’s going to be at least two hours.” They all stay in the car.


After a few minutes the Chemist tells the other three, “I’m pretty sure I know what happened......

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got to the factory this morning ready for my usual day of boxing up milk cartons, when...

my boss walked up to me and said, "I'm afraid there was a problem last night. Some idiot on a forklift dropped the sugar in to the milk condenser."

"Oh, shit", I said, "how much was contaminated?"

"I'm not gonna lie," he said, "... all of it... I'm afraid that for the rest of the day, ...

My ThermoFluids prof told us this one before a final

Four engineers get into a car and try to turn it on, but it doesn't start.

The mechanical engineer immediately pipes up and says "The pistons must be shot! Someone get me tool kit and I'll take apart the engine to fix it."

The chemical engineer then goes "No, no, no the fuel is clearly...

An team of aliens comes to Earth to study the planet.

A group of aliens land on the planet with the intent of studying the planet for scientific purposes. The humans agree to their wishes and allow them to do what they want as long as they don't do any harm or damage. So the aliens create a research site and begin what they came to do.

First the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It is the year 2200

In a small city lived a master fisherman. This fisherman was famous throughout the world for being able to catch numerous amounts of fish in any body of water. Now, fish these days have mutated and changed quite a bit, but this fisherman was able to catch them all with little to no effort.

On...

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