Two communists are sitting together at a nudist colony.

One turns to the other and asks “Have you read Marx?” The second replies “yes, it’s these damn wicker chairs!”

How did communists light their homes before candles?

With electricity.

I think my cats are communists

They expect free food and keep talking about Mao.

I think my cat is a communist

She won’t stop saying “Mao”

Communists make the best snipers

They're natural Marx men.

Why Don't Communists Like School?

Because they have always get bad Marx.

What is a Communists favorite musician?

Cher

Why are communists always late to events?

Because they’re Stallin’!

JK. It’s cause they starved to death.

What do you call a group of indifferent communists

A So-be-it Union

Why do communists only drink herbal tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

Why do communists hate schools?

Because schools have classes

What's the best way to kill communists?

Communism.

What do Chinese Communists say instead of “lol”?

L-MAO.

Why are communists considered left?

Because they can't do anything right

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you can it when two communists have sex?

Seizing the means of reproduction

What do you call an arranged marriage between two apathetic communists?

The so be it union.

Why don’t communists go to school?

Because the classes are divided

where do communists get their coal from?

ours

Where on Reddit to communists go to have a laugh?

Our jokes

What are Communists born with?

BirthMarx

What kind of blood disorder is most common among communists?

Hammer-and-Sickle cell anemia.

Communists jokes on internet aren't memes

They're ourours

Did you know martians are communists?

They all live on the red planet.

How do Communists ask for help?

Quit Stalin and get Lenin me a hand right Mao!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Made for each other - a thread

How would you describe the perfect couple of eggs?

- Laid for each other

How would you describe the perfect couple of prostitutes?

- Paid for each other

How would you describe the perfect couple of necrophilliacs?

- Dead for each other


How would you desc...

I once saw a group of Communists.

They were playing Soviet Russian Roulette. It's like regular Russian Roulette, except that everyone dies equally.

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