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Bolshevik Jokes

What do you call a Bolshevik college?

A Leninstitute

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Soviet communist lies on his death bed, on the verge of death. His friends are gathered around him all somber. The old man turns to one of them and says, "Dimitri, remember in 1921 you were almost executed? Well, you should know that I ratted you out to the Cheka. I hope you forgive me."

"Oh comrade, it is In the past and all is forgiven" says Dimitri.

The Communist then turns to another friend.

"Petya, remember being sentenced in 1937 to 25 years in the gulag? Well, it was me who went to the NKVD. Please forgive me."

"No more hard feelings, my friend. You are f...

How many Bolsheviks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None - the lightbulb has the capacity for its own revolution

I need help with a 17 year old joke about Jello and Communism

So my friend and I started this game 17 years ago where you have to come up with a jello (we altered the rules to allow *some* pastries) that fit a communist theme.

Everytime we come up with a new one we swear there are none left. I know he cheats, cos I cheat too. My sister came up with Ban...

Lightbulb Jokes (OC)

There is a large number of lightbulbs jokes that go, "How many X does it take to screw in a lightbulb?", with X ranging from blondes to bolsheviks. But why is it that the answer never equals one? Grandma knew why: Many hands make light work.

Soviet joke my grandpa told me

Brezhnev is showing his mother how well he has done. He shows her his suite in the Kremlin, his country house with a fully stocked kitchen, his Black Sea villa, his limousine. She says: ‘This is all really nice...but what will you do if the Bolsheviks come back?’

What happens when a Communist doesn’t pay their rent?

They get Bolshevik-ted.

The Soviet Union won't ever rise again?

What a bunch of Bolshevik.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Not russian to the punch line on this one.

Three friends, Vick, Tom, and John, are having a discussion on ancestry.

Vick says, "I just found out my great great grandfather was part of a Democratic party in Russia in the early 1900s, and helped form an alliance with the Jewish Bund."

Tom says, "Bolshevik?"

Vick replies, "...

Why did Bob disagree with communism?

He thought it was such Bolshevik.

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