UPJOKE
communismcapitalismmarxismkarl marxstateideologysocialistdemocracyprivate propertymoneycooperativegovernmentsyndicalismlabour partyproletarian

if I had a dollar for everytime socialism was succesful, I'd have 0$

Which is funny because if it did work, I'd also have 0$

What is the difference between Capitalism and Socialism?

In a capitalist society, man exploits man and in a socialist one, it's the other way around.

Socialism sounds great in theory...

But in practice, you just gonna get couped by the CIA.

In the 70s...

A Russian asks for a meeting with the President

\- I would like a passport and a visa to Belgium - asks the Russian man

\- But aren't you fine in Russia? - asks the president

\- Hm, really, I can't complain

\- So, maybe you don't like your work there?

\- Hm, reall...

After the fall of the Soviet Union...

two Russian friends meet and one tells the other:

Friend 1: You know what? Everything they told us about socialism and communism was a lie.

And his friend replies,

Friend 2: You are right. And do you know what's even worse? Everything they told us about capitalism is true.

Socialism jokes are only funny...

...if everybody gets them.

Politics in terms of cows

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The state takes a high portion of the milk they produce to be redistributed.


COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and you have to get into a bread line for food instead.


FASCISM: You have two cows. The State will kill you ...

I finally understand the difference between capitalism, libertarianism, and socialism.

Capitalists hire libertarians to say socialism is bad. Socialists say capitalism is bad for free. And libertarians will say everyone else is bad as long as they get paid.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cows and ideologies (long)

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots...

[Religion] [Racist]What is the difference between christianity and national socialism?

In christianity, one guy died for all the others.

Real socialism, waiting on a breadline.

Joke socialism, waiting on a punchline.

Socialism is bad.

I learned that in public school.

Two friends are having a discussion about communism and socialism

One friend isn’t quite getting the differences between the two and asks, “so is socialism like diet communism?”

His friend replies, “you don’t get more diet than communism”.

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Is it possible to build socialism in Sahara desert?”

We are answering: “Possible, but you will end up with a shortage of sand.”

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