UPJOKE
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Mao Jokes

What is the name of Mao's funny brother?

Lmao

I don’t know how the Chinese fell for Mao and the communist party

I mean, there were a freakin ton of red flags.

I think my cats are communists

They expect free food and keep talking about Mao.

Robespierre, Trotsky, and Mao walk into a bar.

There are no survivors.

I heard Xi Jingping is going to publish his own little red book of quotes like Mao....

It's going to be called "That's what Xi Said".

I think my cat might be a communist

He won't shut up about Mao.

A French guy asks his friend, "Did you hear the joke about the Chinese Chairman?"

His friend responds, "Yeah, Le Mao"

How do they laugh in China?

L-MAO!

Chairman Mao was a keen rock climber who managed to scale all the top ten peaks of China. He commemorated his achievement by getting his ears pierced and adding 10 pieces of jewellery to represent each peak.

he was....(ahem)....MaoTenEarring.

What do we want? A Chinese dictator!

When do we want it? Mao!

What do Chinese Communists say instead of “lol”?

L-MAO.

One day in 1960's China...

Mao told his chief of police to send 10,000 intellectuals and a clown to rural exile. The police chief asked "Why the clown?" Mao laughed and said "That's the spirit!"

How do Communists ask for help?

Quit Stalin and get Lenin me a hand right Mao!

How do French cats laugh?

“L’mao”

Why are French cats always do cheerful?

Because they're always saying, "Le mao"

What is every cats favourite Dictator?

Mao.

I'm beginning to suspect my cat is secretly a Chinese communist.

All she ever talks about is Mao.

What does a Chinese communist revolutionary do after hearing a good joke?

L Mao

I asked my cat "Who is your favorite President of China?"

According to her it's Mao.

A man has a booth at a fair with a talking cat...

A woman walks up and asks, "Can your cat really talk?"

The man turns to the cat and asks, "Which leader is attributed to the most deaths in human history?"

The cat says, "Mao."

The woman, who is annoyed by this ruse, walks away.

The cat turns to the man and asks, "Should...

I accidentally installed a program that keeps showing me a picture of a Chinese politician.

I think it's maoware.

What's a cat's favorite dictator?

Mao

What do you get when you cross a cartoon character and a Communist?

Mickey Mao.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is everyone picking on Jews?

A comedian was going into his favourite joke, "One day, Moskowitz and Finkelstein were going to..." when a heckler from the audience interrupted.

"Moskowitz and Finkelstein! why does it always have to be two Jews? Can't you tell a joke with any other nationalities involved!? Why don't you mak...

The Talking Cat.

A 2 bit magician had a show called "Goldie, the Magic Talking Cat". He wasn't that skilled of a magician, so he had to make up for his lack of talent with cheesy 2 bit tricks.

He found this cat that looked like it was clearly abandoned. It had fleas and ticks, wasn't fixed and it didn't ...

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