Hey girl is your name Karl Marx?

Cuz you're starting an uprising in my lower classes

Why did Karl Marx only write in lowercase?

Because he hated capitalism.

A rich man visits Karl Marx as he's writing the Communist manifesto.

He asks: "So what's in that book of yours, Mr. Marx?"

Marx replies: "None of your business."

Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx

But no one remembers his sister, Onya, She invented the starting pistol.

I was disappointed that my sister started dating a guy who praised Stalin, idolized Karl Marx, and was working to form a union at work

I don't know she missed all the red flags

Why was Karl Marx buried at Highgate Cemetery?

Because he was dead.

What does Karl Marx, a bus driver and a sous chef at a 5-star restaurant have in common?

Everything, if Marx had his way.

I'm a big fan of Karl Marx's books, and if that makes me a communist;

Then So vie It

Why did Karl marx dislike earl grey tea?

Because all proper-tea is theft

What’s Karl Marx’s favorite measurement of time?

Hours

Karl Marx passed away and went to hell...

After some days, Lucifer, caretaker of the hell met with Angel, who take care of Heaven. Yes, they meet sometimes in the corridors of heavenly worlds! Today Lucifer was gloomy. When Angel asked about his sadness, Lucifer replied. "There is a new guy in hell named Karl Marx. He created all kinds of t...

Why did karl marx always spell his name in lowercase letters?

Because he wanted to abolish all forms of capital

Karl Marx as a student

In University, Karl Marx's Political Economics professor noted that every day, the young man would get up halfway through class and walk out, which caused a good deal of disruption. The professor quickly grew tired of the daily distraction, and so one day, as Marx stood up and prepared to leave, the...

What do you Get If you make Karl Marx take drugs?

You get High Marx

Helps you graduate sooner

Also: oh high Marx

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karl Marx had a lesser known brother in the scat porn industry. His name?

Skid Marx.

Why did Karl Marx like going to continental Europe so much?

Because they did not have proper tea.

Why does Karl Marx's toilet play music every time you flush it?

Because of the violins inherent in the cistern.

Fidel Castro dies and goes to hell.

There he discovers that he has a choice: he can go to capitalist hell or to communist hell. Naturally, he wants to compare the two, so he goes over to capitalist hell.

There outside the door is the devil, who looks a bit like Ronald Reagan. “What’s it like in there?” asks Fidel. “Well,” the d...

A store for wisdom

Dr. Who was traveling through time and space, when he came upon a cache of the universe's best wise sayings. He loaded them into the Tardis and decided to set up a shop on a nice little corner just outside of reality to sell the sayings to the great thinkers and writers of all time. He advertised hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bit of history

In the Victorian era the rich people drank tea from bone china cups while the poorer classes had to use earthen-ware mugs. Bone china can stand the shock of having boiling water poured directly into it but earthen-ware can't. So the upper classes would pour their teas and then add the milk but the l...

A communist, like Karl Marx, says to seize the means of production...

Capitalist Donald Trump however, prefers to seize the means of reproduction.

I just graded a social studies essay on capitalism

Dan, my brightest student, wrote a brilliant essay about how wages and labor are balanced to ensure that a vendor sells his product at a competitive price. I gave him A marks.

Emily wrote an essay that touched upon the fundamentals, but didn't really explain the concepts with the quality and ...

Miley Cyrus's VMA preformance...

Was so classless Karl Marx came in his grave

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The day after Stalin's death...

...the Soviet nation decided to get rid of him once and for all and bury him as far away as possible. They set up a special commission.

The commission turned to the British government with the request that they make available a plot in a British cemetery.

“Well,” replies the British go...

Fidel Castro Dies on Black Friday

Adam Smith: 1
Karl Marx: 0

In the 1950's ol' Joe died and approached the gates of heaven

Being his natural self, he brought his ol' trusty gun with him.
Saint Peter greets him and says:
"You cannot enter heaven with a gun, my son"

Obviously ol' Joe is pretty upset and walks in circles trying to figure out what to do and actually manages to catch a glimpse through the gate...

Karl Marx dies and stands trial before St. Peter.

St. Peter: "The ideas you preach have brought misery to billions. I send you to the deepest pits of Hell!"

After a few months Satan calls God:

Satan: "God, please remove Marx from my realm as soon as possible."

God: "Why would I do that? He is a sinner, his fate is to burn in H...

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