Book Store Jokes - 32 Hilarious Book Store Jokes

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A man is walking through his local mall and notices a Mexican book store. He decides to go in, because he has never seen one before.

He browses through the store and finally asks the clerk, "Do you have the book on Donald Trump's foreign policies with Mexico?"

The clerk replies, "Fuck you, get out, stay out!"

The man replies, "Yeah, that's the one."

I went into a book store today and asked if they had any books about turtles.

The cashier said : “hardback?”

I said: “yeah and little heads”

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Muslim book store in New York: A man asks if they have the latest Donald Trump book on immigration.

"Fuck off, get out and don't come back" says the store owner.

"That's the one!" says the man

I work a book store and this snobby woman comes in every day asking for the same stupid Stephen King book...

I work a book store and this snobby woman comes in every day asking for the same stupid Stephen King book... And every time she gets rude when I tell her we don't have it.

Finally today I lost my temper and screamed at her to take her entitled attitude and get out of the store. There was some...

Today I went to a book store and found: "the only book you'll ever need to buy".

Volume 2

I walked into the book store and asked the guy, “Do you have any books by Shakespeare?”

Bookseller: Of course. Which one?

Me: William.

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Guy goes into the book store and asks for a book called "Living With A Small penis"

The pretty young assistant says, "I don't think it's in yet"
Guy replies, "Yes, that's the one!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While walking through the mall I spotted the Islamic Book Store and I went in.

The clerk asked me, "can I help you?" I said, "yes, can you tell me where I can find Donald Trump's book on refugees?" He turned beet red and said, "eat shit, get the fuck out and stay out." I said, "yes, that's the one, now where is it located?"

Went to the book store for the Christmas sale “1/3 off all titles”

I got a lovely copy of “The Lion, The Witch”

I'm like a comic book store

I got so many issues...

What’s a Russians favorite book store?

Barnes & Chernobyl

Adult book store

Three guys are arrested in an adult book store and appear before the judge. He asks the first guy to stand:
"What is your name?" he asked.
"George," the guy answered.
"And why were you arrested?" the judge asked.
"I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke,"...

What was the most popular book store in the Roman Empire?

Barnestantinoble

Muslim book store

So there I was walking through a mall and I saw a Muslim book store. I was interested what was in a muslim book store so I went in.
The clerk approached me asking if I need help knowing I probably don't look like his normal customer so I asked if he had a copy of Donald Trumps book on his U.S. I...

The other day in a book store I saw one that was called “How to live with 5$”

It costed 8.50$

Why did the bull tear up the used book store?

They were all read.

I want to open up a discount book store

I’ll call it Food 4 Thought 4 Less

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A man is at a mall and sees a Mexican book store.

Curious, he walks in to see the selection, and wonders if they have the book he's looking for. So he goes up to the shop owner and asks "do you have the latest book by Donald Trump?"

The shop owner states at him in confusion for a second and yells "Fuck you, get out and stay out!"

Man ...

I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was

she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

My favourite thing to do is to walk into book stores and say “Hello! I'm looking for a book titled ‘How to deal with rejection without killing’.”

“Do you have it?”

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Mr. Tilley is running a Christian book store in a strip mall. [Long]

And business is good. The community has been growing, both in economy and spirit, with community centers and parks, factories and research laboratories. A true mecca of modern civilization. Mr. Tilley knows everyone in town, and everyone knows him. When anyone sees him, they smile, wave, and say "Bl...

Harry & Hermione go to Hogsmeade

Since school had started back up in September, hogsmeade visits once again became something to look forward to.

There was the 2nd week of September and then, luckily, one on Hermione's Birthday, just in time to buy her something nice.

Things the next month were the same as usual; Harry...

I just bought a thesaurus

I just bought a thesaurus from the book store, however when I got home I found that all the pages were blank! I have no words to describe how angry I am.

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A Jewish boy loved reading books

After he read each book in his house he started going to the local library. He went there every day until he has read every book.
One day he visited a nearby book store and asked the owner if they had any books he hadn't read before.
The old owner picked up a book named "Death" from underneath...

One Guinness please

"Ma'am, I'd like to order a Guiness."

"You must be Irish."

"Oh, so ordering a Guiness makes me Irish? If I ordered a Pizza, would you assume I'm Italian?"

"I didn't..."

"And if I ordered a Bratwurst, would that make me German?"

"No, but..."

"So why exactly d...

Bumper sticker

The other day I went to the local religious book store where I saw a "HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS" bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on my back bumper and I'm glad I did.

What an uplifting experience followed. That bumper sticker really worked!!

I found lots of people who loved Jesus.<...

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My penis is in the Guinness book of records.

At least it was till that book store lady kicked me out.

A penguin’s car breaks down in a Florida town [NSFW]

He manages to push it to a nearby mechanic. The mechanic says it’ll take a few hours to repair, so the penguin, exasperated, goes to look around the town.

He goes into a clothing store and buys a nice shirt, and goes to a book store and buys some nice books. However, the penguin, being in Flo...

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My dick was in the Guinness's book of world records

Up until the employee of the book store threw me out.

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Credit to some Israeli guy for the joke.

I wanted to buy some literature on DIY shelving

Sounds easy, but try going into a book store and asking if they have "any books on shelves"

If I was a smart thief, do you know what I would rob?

A book store.

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Divorce Attorney

Squeezing Every Last Drop

Out of Ya

A father walks into a bookstore with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help.

A w...

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