I was at a comedy club in Russia last month and saw a decent stand up routine making fun of Putin.

I didn't love the guy's jokes, but he had a great execution.

An Indian architect gets called into his boss's office because a comedy club he recently designed is labeled only in Hindi.

Flustered, he says, "Sorry for the construction of The Joke, English is not my first language."

I went thirsty at the comedy club.

The punch lines were terrible!

Adam, the first human, walks into a comedy club. He hears a funny joke and totally splits a rib…

Now his chest hurts and he has to drive Eve home.



(An original, by yours truly.)

What do you call a witches comedy club in Mexico ?

A bruja-ja .

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A comedian is in the dressing room of a comedy club when he sees this guy sitting in the corner...

He wonders why the guy is there but thinks nothing of it. Before the first comedian goes on stage, he approaches the guy in the corner and whips out his dick. The guy in the corner jerks him off real quick, then pulls up his pants and goes on stage.

One by one, each of the other comedians in ...

The local morgue doubles up as a comedy club at night.

Tomorrow is open Mike night.

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When im rich im building comedy clubs in all my bathrooms

Just for shits and giggles

Why did the cannibal bring his silverware to the comedy club?

He heard there would be an open Mike.

When do sweet potatoes like to go to the comedy club?

Yamateur hour.

A gorgeous woman doing stand-up at a comedy club

....and she's not doing so well. It's not that her delivery or stage presence is bad. It's simply because she's using extremely tired and outdated material. To put it frankly, the audience was sick and tired of hearing the same damn jokes that had been told time after time on that stage.

Afte...

There was a comedy club called "The Joke"...

...that had amazing popularity. It wasn't because of the humor the comedians on stage offered, but due to an extremely delicious fruit punch that the establishment sold. It was so popular that people would gather into a queue around the block just to try the stuff. After a while, however, people sto...

I got detained by security at a comedy club the other night.

I didn’t find the comedian’s joke very funny so they booked me for”resisting a jest”.

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What was the best part of the janitor’s job cleaning toilets at the comedy club?

The shits and giggles

What did the audience say about the virologist's set at the comedy club?

He had an infectious sense of humor, but needed to work on telling his jokes at a less feverish pace.

What did the comedy club proprietor say to the FedEx guy?

The jokes are ok but you need to work on your delivery.

Comedy club challenge

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter a comedy club challenge where they have to not laugh at the comedians best jokes. With a prize of £10,000 they set off with their best poker faces.

The first comedian enters the stage and tries his joke with a funny accent and the brunette laughs and...

Comedy Club

I sent a comedy club my resume. They looked at it for a second, and laughed their asses off. I thought it was a good sign. I never heard back.

Now I work in Corporate America.

I went to a comedy class recently to work on my stand-up

I’ve been going there for about a month now and the people are great and I’ve been having a good time, but recently I’ve been kicked out.

You see in this comedy club they have a drink and snacks table, I wasn’t that hungry but I was thirsty so I go to the punch but there was a long line.
...

A visitor enters a mental asylum...

And sees three patients sitting at a table laughing uncontrollably as they chat amongst one another.


Patient 1: Sixteen!


\*They all laugh laugh historically\*


Patient 2: Five!


\*They all bursts out laughing\*


Visitor: Excuse me doctor,...

A man went searching for the perfect joke...

He went to the best comedy clubs in his city and listened for days. He heard some great things, but nothing he could call perfect.

 

He journeyed to Hollywood, and tracked down the best comedic actors and screenwriters. Each one, eager for the honor of creating the perfect jok...

An audio technician becomes a comedian

An audio technician is on stage at an open mic night in a comedy club.

He seems to be absolutely crushing the audience with witty and outrageous jokes.

At the end of his time he gets to do a mic drop.

That was the last night he ever did comedy.

The feedback ruined it.

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Black Guy Gets Pulled Over By a Cop

\*Black guys runs a red light & gets pulled over by a cop.\*

Cop: "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"

Black Guy: "Because I'm a young, black man?"

Cop: "No sir, I don't see color."

Black Guy: "Then why did you pull me over?"

Cop: "Because you ran that red...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to his doctor complaining about his dick...

"Doctor! My dick, it's turning orange!" "How many times do I have to tell you," responded the doc, "You have to stop eating Cheetos while you're masturbating!"

Note: This joke was much funnier when I heard it in a comedy club told by a quadriplegic man!

Ghosts

*Ghost audience at a comedy club:* Booooooo

*Ghost comedian:* Thank you, thank you!

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