Why did China cancel Chinese New Years?

Everybody was kung-flu fighting.

I don't like these Chinese New Year celebrstions

They tend to Drag-on.

Some friends are having a joint Burns Night and Chinese New Year Party this weekend

They're calling it Chinese Burns Night.

I wasn't going to go but they twisted my arm.

Prime Minister Medvedev goes to Putin’s office and tells him to abolish the time zones.

Putin asks, “Why?”

Medvedev says, “I can’t find myself with these times:
-I arrive at a city, call home and everyone is asleep
-I go on a visit, and call you at 4AM but I thought it was the evening.
-I wish Angela Merkel a happy birthday, she tells me it was yesterday.
-I wish the...

This is finally going to be my year.

My friends in jail have been telling me for years that I'm a rat.

Happy Chinese new year

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump's statement regarding China

Trump: "In little over a week when I take office, China will fall into a slump. Factories will shut down, shops will close, stock markets will not trade, and government will grind to a halt.The wealthy will flee overseas with their families, citizens desperately trade their currency for food, doors ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Chinese joke

Mr. Wang was getting ready for the Chinese New Year. He decided to put up some luck paintings on his wall, so he called his son over. He told his son, "It's the New Year, so you have to say auspicious words. So if I put the decorations too high up, say 'Good fortune' and if I put the decorations too...

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A man goes to the doctor....

He whips it out and says "doc, look at this". His dick is striped with every color of the rainbow.

Doc: "Yep, seen that before. Nothing we can do but amputate."

Man: "Screw you doc!" and runs out.

The man sees every doctor in town, but they all take one look and say the same ...

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