George Washington admits he chopped down the cherry tree.

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Johnny, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

Little Johnny: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....

The Farmer and the Cherry Tree

A farmer rounded up his three sons and said sternly "I want to know which of you boys pushed the outhouse over, but before I do I want to tell you a story. When George Washington was a boy, he chopped down his father's favorite cherry tree. When his father asked, George admitted his deed, saying, ...

George Washington's Cherry Tree

A man approaches his son and asks, "Did you push our outhouse into the ditch yesterday?"

The boy replies "No, father; I didn't push the outhouse into the ditch."

The man says "Did I ever tell you about George Washington, a great American hero? When George Washington was a child, he g...

Why do Cherry trees smell?

Because George Washington cut one.

I bought the original ax that George Washington used to chop down the cherry tree.

The antique dealer told me that the handle had been replaced a couple times, and the blade was replaced once, but it's the real deal!

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How does an elephant disguise itself as a cherry tree?

Paints his balls red.

Whats the loudest noise in the jungle?

A giraffe eating cherries.

New leaks reveal that George Washington didn't cut down that cherry tree

it was actually brought down by Russian hackers

George Washington had enacted a strict army policy about cherry trees

Dont axe, dont tell

What do you find hanging from cherry trees?

Your arms have gotten sore.

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.

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For my first cake day I want to share a joke my dad told me when I was probably too young to really understand it. How does an elephant hide in the jungle?

Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his balls red.

What’s the loudest sound in the jungle?

Giraffes eating cherries!

(Apologies if you’ve heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I’ll get better material)

There was a porta-potty near the edge of a small cliff

Everyday young Bobby would walk by it on the way home from school, and every day he would resist the temptation to kick it off the edge of the cliff.

This all changed one day when Bobby had a particularly bad day at school. He had learned about boring topics, like how George Washington cut do...

A man wins $100 000 at Las Vegas.

When he returns home he hides it in his backyard, only to wake up the next morning and find it stolen, with a trail of muddy footprints leading to the mute-deaf a few blocks away. Enraged, he enlists the help of the sign language professor next door, and together, the man armed, they confront the mu...

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Joke from my southern grandmother

I haven’t seen this one on here before, but maybe I’ve just missed it. Here goes:

Back yonder in the olden days, little Johnny would have to walk to the school house for class. As with many young children, Johnny was very imaginative and would play pretend with sticks and branches, sword figh...

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A boy grows up with an outhouse...

He's in bed one night and thinks to himself,

"This is bullshit! It's 2016, we're the only ones with an outhouse!

Once it rains and the river floods some, I'm pushing it in."

The boy wakes up for school the next morning and see that it rained a bit, enough for the river to rise ...

Remember Elephant jokes?

These are the first three that I learned a looooong time ago!

* Why do ducks have webbed feet? -- So they can stomp out forest fires.
* Why do elephants have flat feet? -- So they can stomp out flaming ducks.
* Why do elephants paint their toenails red? -- So they can hide in cherry tre...

Little Timmy and the Outhouse

There was a child on a farm named Timmy. Now Timmy loved growing up on the farm with his family. He enjoyed helping out in the fields, he loved feeding the sheep and cows, and he was always happy to help out in the barn. The one thing Timmy did not like, was having to clean out the outhouse. He abso...

The Outdoor Toilet

A young man wanted to invite his girlfriend to their farm but was embarrassed by the old-fashioned outdoor toilet.

He kept bickering his dad for a modern, indoor one, but the old-timer didn't want to give in.

Out of sheer desperation, he slips out one night, puts a lot of dynamite be...

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A guy buys a scratch ticket and wins 1,000,000 dollars...

Not wanting his wife or anyone to get it, he buries all of it, in cash, in his backyard.
The next morning he walks outside to see a gaping hole where he had buried it, and shoe prints leading to his deaf neighbor's house.
He storms over to the house with a gun in his hand and kicks the doo...

The Farmer and the Outhouse

One night, a farmer's outhouse is knocked over.

In the morning, the farmer approaches his son and asks, "Son, did you knock over the outhouse last night?"

"No Dad, I didn't."

"Son ... let me tell you a story. When George Washington was a little boy, he chopped down his father's...

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Terrible jokes my Dad told me as a kid

Joke 1: How do you know if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The peanut butter has footprints

Joke 2: How do you know if an elephant is in your cherry tree? Elephants have blue eyes

I don't know if this has anything to do with how awful the jokes are, but my Dad immigrated fro...

A man gathered all of his children together and said...

“Children when George Washington knocked down the cherry tree, he told his father honestly that it was him , now answer me honestly, Who knocked down the outhouse?

Finally the youngest son admitted it was him, at which he received a lashing he wouldn’t soon forget. “That's not fair” complain...

A farmer returning home

Through town, laden down with several purchases -- a duck, an anvil, a bucket, and two chickens -- encountered an old widow lady who asked him, "Sir, do you know how to get to 43 Cherry Tree Road?"

"I'm on my way to 42 Cherry Tree Road, so I'll show you the way, ma'am."

They continued ...

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