This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had sex under a citrus fruit tree once.

It was fucking sublime.

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My husband is a pussy and wont decide what kind of fruit tree to plant in our front yard.

I told him to grow a pear.

Why is a fruit tree like a laxative?

They both make a mango!

I should probably take up growing fruit trees

Because people keep telling me I should grow a pear.

In which mountain range do fruit trees primarily grow?

The Apple-achian mountains.

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Trump, Saudi King & Putin find a Lamp on a golf course.

During a world leaders meeting President Trump, The Saudi King and Vladimir Putin take time out to go for a stroll to examine the resorts golf course and settle their differences.

Whilst over the green on the 1st hole President Trump and Putin get into a heated argument. The Saudi King takes ...

A woman says to her lawyer "I want to divorce my husband."

"On what grounds?"

"Grounds? We have two acres at the edge of town with a big lawn and some fruit trees."

"No, that's not what I meant. Do you have a grudge?"

"Yes, we have a two car garage but only one car so we use the rest for storage."

^(getting exasperated) "Does he ...

Quick thinking

Stan was a farmer in Florida. When he retired, he spent some time cleaning up one of the ponds on his farm. He brought in some picnic tables, put in a horseshoes court, and planted some fruit trees. It was a lovely spot for family gatherings and what have you and Stan took great care of it. One...

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A Cruise Ship wrecks and 7 survivors make it to a nearby deserted island...

A cruise ship wrecked and 7 survivors made it to a nearby deserted island, 6 male and 1 female. As luck would have it the island had a freshwater lake and plenty of fruit trees to keep the survivors alive. After a few days of being stuck on the island the survivors began craving their animalistic ...

An Olympic swimmer...

...is on a cruise ship, when it hits a reef and sinks. Bobbing in the waves, he spies an island in the distance, makes for it, and barely gets ashore. All he finds on the isle are fruit trees, a female sheep and a big dog. The fruit trees provide sustenance, but he starts to feel lonely. The sheep h...

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