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Cheers Jokes

Q: how big is it when someone cheers for you!

A: it’s about “yay” big.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A donkey walks into a bar, and everyone cheers. Why?

Because if he had passed it he would have been a bad lawyer

Joke from 1980s sitcom Cheers

Diane: (to coach) can you name a car that starts with P?

Coach: Uh, Pontiac, Porsche ...

Diane: No, Coach, those cars start with gas.

Three cheers for mediocrity!

We’re number two!

Cheers to hindsight!!

....it's 2020..

Happy new years everyone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cheers to me not a single man in my 30 years of life!!

I only married men.

Just saw "Cheers: The Musical"

My Thoughts? A little too much Danson.



Also, some of the acting was woody.

What do you call an ant who cheers you up?

Antidepressant

If I had a dollar every time a customer complained about the price of cinema food.

I could almost afford a small popcorn.

Edit: With all the complaining in the comments I could add a drink as well.

Nah cheers guys. Sorry about the cost of movie food. It’s the CEO’s fault not the person behind the counter. Please stop yelling at us. We are very small and we have no m...

A circle walks into a bar. The bartender sees him, and waves, then shouts to the whole room, "another drink for everybody - on this guy!" Everybody in the pub cheers.

But the circle is not happy. Frowning, he marches up to the bartender. "What the eff, dude? Why are all the drinks on me?" , the circle angrily demands of the bartender.



The bartender replies, "hey, don't get mad, circle buddy. It's just ... you're round!"

A cheers for women's underwear...

...they might not be the best thing, but they are the closest thing to it

Three cheers for obese people! Hip hip...

...problems

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy walks into a bar and yells, "Hey barkeep, how about a round of drinks for everyone here before the starts?"

Everyone cheers. Bartender says ok, and pours a round of beers for the whole bar.

A little while later the guy yells again, "Hey barkeep, how about another round of drinks before the starts?"

Everyone cheers louder. Bartender says ok, and pours another round of beers for the whol...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A perfectly normal couple has a baby, but, very unexpectedly, the baby is born without arms. Or legs. Or even a body. It's just a head...

Nevertheless, the couple embrace their roles as parents and, as unusual as it is, they raise their baby, trying to make his life as normal as possible. Obviously, it's a struggle, but they manage... and they love and treat their son like any other normal kid. Well, as much as possible.

On the...

A man goes to a funeral and asks the widow:

Mind if I say a word?"
She says: "Please do."
The man clears his throat and says: "Plethora."
The widow replies: "Thanks, that means a lot."





Edit: thank you for the WONDERFUL cascade of follow on jokes below. Hilarious


Edit 2: First Gold. Cheers mate🥂

A Nun walks into Hooters

A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room...

A new guy starts working at the local mental asylum.

After giving him some general indications, the director tells him to ask any question he may have.

-Yes, director, I have one. How do we know if a patient is cured and ready to leave the asylum?

-Well -says the director-, once per year, we gather some of them and ask them a question. I...

What do the Irish say when they cheers their beer?

Good Mornin'!

Jim walked into a bar....

Jim, walked into a bar and aggressively shouted his order to the bartender

”Please give me a plate of chicken wings and then give everyone half a kilo steak and mutton, cause when I eat,
I want everyone to eat!”

The bartender complies, by giving Jim a plate of chicken wings and eve...

Mr. Peterson walks into Cheers, and gets his usual greeting, which is everyone in the bar loudly shouting his first name.

It was funny the first few times, but after that, it became the norm.
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