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A performer finishes their act and gets a standing ovation.

Everyone in the theatre is clapping. Except one guy. He's just standing there with his arms folded.

Later that evening, the perturbed performer finds the man in the lobby and confronts him about his standing no-vation.

"You are mistaken, I was indeed clapping. When I see brilliance, ...

Why did Kermit the Frog’s stage play get a standing ovation?

He gave a ribbeting performance

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My go to joke- Guy sees “piano player wanted” sign window..

So he goes in, says he wants the job. Manager says, “alright, but 1st I gotta see if you’re qualified” So he plays a song and it drops the managers jaw “wow! That was amazing, was that Beethoven??” “No” the man replies “that’s an original. I call it ‘your tits are so big, my eyes are poppin outta my...

A famous car designer...

A famous car designer was about to retire at the age of 64 due to health concerns. For all his life, he had strived for perfection in his craft of designing cars, specifically for Kia. In each of his 32 models, he was instrumental in some innovation or vastly improved function.

He called for ...

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The greatest swordsman in the world.

There was a competition going on in Spain to see who the worlds greatest swordsman was.The final three competitors had been chosen and were brought on stage in front of the anticipating crowd to showcase their talent.The first swordsman stepped forward causing the crowd to hush.One of the judges pro...

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The circus is in town. Main act is a magician and his crocodile...

As he enters the stage, the crowd is silent of anticipation for the famous trick he is about to perform.

The great magician squeezes the eyes of the crocodile, which opens its mouth, he drops his pants and parades his mighty member in front of the applauding crowd. He stands before the animal...

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One day a new stage play was released that was supposed to be the #1 comedy of the year.

Unfortunately from the get go it had poor reviews frequently stating that it just wasn't that funny. The writer of the script was at a loss and was getting ready to cancel the show when his friend called.

He told him he had just watched the show and true to the reviews it was pretty terrible...

It's Time for a clear, serious grammar lesson...

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words. In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5...

A paraplegic gave a moving presentation on how much he misses using his legs

He received a standing ovation

A king was visiting the training grounds with his swordmaster

A king was visiting the training grounds with his swordmaster.

There was a crowd watching two fencers trade blows.

The first fencer performed an attack and the crowd gasped.

The king, who isn't into the sport, asked his swordmaster about the move.

"That's what you'd call ...

Today I made an in depth presentation about ground breaking research on bad effects of the two legged posture in humans

It was well received. In fact they even gave me a standing ovation.

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At Oxford's men only English language competition, 200 males were participating

The challenge was to express Peacefulness, Happiness and Calmness in a single sentence.

The person who won the competition wrote....

"My wife is sleeping."







He also received standing ovation from the audience.

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Stevie Wonder is playing in Japan for the first time ever...

Sitting at the piano in a concert hall, keen to please his new audience, Stevie shouts "Before I start, does anyone have any requests?"

Some little old Japanese man at the very back of the hall stands up and shouts back "Do a jazz chord!"

So Stevie obliges, playing an Eb Minor diminish...

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Unemployed musician walks into a bar...

...and asks if they need a house musician to entertain the patrons. The manager told him to go ahead and show what he's got at the piano onstage.
So the man proceeds to play one of the most wonderful original songs the folks there had ever heard. It took everyone by surprise and he got a hear...

World's smartest man contest.

There was a world's smartest man contest held and only two contestants remained. A book smart college man, and a country fellow from the west. The panel of 3 judges gave the contestants a variety of challenging questions and both always answered correctly.

The contest had been going for day...

I wanted to give a round of applause to the most exciting person I'd ever slept with

But I thought a standing ovation was more appropriate

President Trump goes to the Olympics

At the 2018 Olympics, President Trump begins his speech.

“O!” — applause. “O!” — more applause. “O!” — yet more

applause. “O!” — an Huuuge ovation. “O!!!”

— the whole audience stands up and goes wild. An aide comes

running to the podium and

whispers, “Presiden...

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Smartest human competition

Once upon a time a major TV outlet hosted greatly revered competition to determine the smartest, wisest, brightest specimen of Homo Sapiens once and for all. The popularity and feedback was unprecedented. Millions applied. After months of long and detailed tests ranging from simple IQ tests to timed...

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