UPJOKE
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Cheerful Jokes

Being cheerful and peppy in the morning is a lot like committing murder.

We are all capable of it, but it takes a deranged individual to actually go through with it.

Inner Peace

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved one...

When four of Santa's elves got sick...

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Christmas pressure.

Then, Mrs. Claus told Santa her mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When went to harness the reindeer, he fou...

There once was a woman named "Ninety"...

her parents couldn't think of a name for her so they just named her "ninety". eventually, ninety had children of her own. the kids were cheerful and playful. one day they asked their mother for a dog, which ninety replied, "no dogs!". saddened, the children simply resumed playing.

then one da...

If you ever see a group of four cheerful men from Ghana...

...you're probably a goner.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was this Wal-Mart greeter ...and everyday he was cheerful, happily greeting customers with a "Welcome to Walmart; I hope your day is wonderful!" or an "Enjoy your shopping!"

One day a loud, boisterous, unkempt woman comes in with her two children, who are running around and causing havoc as she yells at them. The old man greets her in his usual cordial manner, and she snaps back a rude reply to him.

Smiling, the old man looks at the lady and says, "What wonderful...

Advice

A doctor was walking down the street one day when he noticed coming towards him one of his 85 year old patients with a very beautiful, well-built young lady on his arm.

He was looking the happiest he had ever seen him.

When the old guy noticed the doctor he went up to him and said, "...

A man comes home to his wife and cheerfully proclaims: “the doctor said I can pleasure myself whenever I want to!”

The wife took the paper he got after the appointment, looks at it for a second and says,

“Harold, this here says you could have a stroke at any time!”

Why are French cats always do cheerful?

Because they're always saying, "Le mao"

"What're you looking for?" the cheerful salesperson asked me.

I replied, "Because if I don't, I bump into things."

On a flight from Dubai to NYC, I met a cheerful gentleman from Pakistani. He stressed that Pakistan is now a new country, peaceful & totally against terrorism

To prove his point, he decided not to hijack the plane.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During the reception a man stands up for his toast and starts speaking cheerfully.

- What a lovely couple you two are, just adorable. And so many wonderful wishes from all of your beloved guests. But if I may, I would like to wish something for myself. I wish for the bride to give me a blowjob.
The guest are shocked, the room goes silent and the groom, a hulk of a man, stands u...

Some dude went to tell cheerful quotes at a rapper’s funeral.

They were all like “Homie where your heart is.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The leprechaun and the golfer

A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.<...

One day a cheerful man goes to hell.

He was very happy, making friends with everyone he met, until he sees a cold man shaking, so he ask “hello there! How did you died?”
“I died frozen, how did you died?”
He smiles and says
“Well... You know...”
“Come on, what was it, car-crash, cancer, killed?”
“No no, i died by happi...

A cheerful young noble knocks on a witch's door

A cheerful young noble knocks on a witch's door and tells her that he's always wanted to become a bear, and that he will reward her handsomely if she transforms him. She accepts, and starts gathering components for her spell. The man follows her around the whole time, explaining how he had read abou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Man who could only Drink Milk

I know an old man who had lived a life full of adventure, but his health started to catch up with him. He'd run the Boston Marathon, was an avid surfer, and climbed Everest, but he'd started to have abdominal pains around his 85th birthday and went to see a doctor. Sadly, he ultimately was diagnosed...

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