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Charlotte Jokes

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Charlotte wants a dress.

Charlotte asked Uncle Bob to borrow some money because she wanted to buy a new dress.

Uncle Bob told her that he would loan her the money if she gave him a blowie.

Charlotte agreed and began sucking. She immediately gagged and said, “This tastes like shit!” ...

Charlotte Bronte wrote a horror novel

Jane Scare.

Emily wrote one about aircraft turbulence:

Wuthering Flights.


(I do apologise for this)

A boy goes up to his father and asks...

- Hey dad, can i date with the neighbour's daughter, Alice?

+No, because i am her dad, the father answers.

-Okay then i will date Olivia.

+Nope, she is also my daughter.

-Charlotte?

+She too.

-Then what about Emma???

+She too.



The boy g...

Add a word to ruin a movie:

**- Batman Begins College - The Longest Yard Sale - Charlottes Web Cam.**



Your Turn :)

How do you stop the protests in Charlotte?

Sing the nation anthem they will sit down

What part of the body goes to heaven first?

In Sunday school, Sister Mary asked the class: "What part of the body goes to heaven first?"

In the back of the class, nasty Billy waved his hand frantically, but Sister Mary, suspecting a wrong answer, turned to another child.

"Yes, Susan?"

"The heart goes to heaven first beca...

What do they call a right turn in NASCAR?

The Earnhardt.

PSA: Don't tell this joke in a 100miles of Charlotte Motor speedway.

What's black and white and red all over?

Charlotte, NC

So I'm 30 and Charlotte is 21. Went out last night and we kept getting funny looks like I was some sort of peadophile. Does anyone else think that age is just a number?

It's completely ruined our 10 year anniversary

The Lady with the dead body in the trunk

One night Charlotte was speeding down the highway as a police pulls her over.

The cop comes up and asks her, **"what the heck was making you drive so fast??"**

Charlotte quickly tries to explain herself and tells the officer **"Sir, I have a dead body in the trunk of my car"**

A...

I went to the vets....

I said to the woman, "This is Charlotte, my wife's dog, and she has pain in her legs."

"Do you keep her in a cage?"

"Yeah, but I'm here about the dog."

Father Christmas and the Question...

Father Christmas asks little Charlotte what she wants for a present. "I want a Barbie doll and a G.I Joe please." she says. "I thought Barbie came with Ken?" replies Santa. "No" says Charlotte. "Barbie comes with Joe, She fakes it with Ken."

Billy Graham drives a limo

Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement, and when his plane arrived there was a limousine waiting to transport him to his home. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver .

"You know," he said, "I am 87 years old and I have never driven...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jewish Sunbathing

A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a totally deserted beach at Port Charlotte ..

She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book..

Smiling, she attempted to s...

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A bus full of nuns is driving through the Italian Alps...

When all of a sudden the driver misses a turn and the bus is launched of the edge of the cliff, rolls down the side of the mountain and explodes in a spectacular ball of flames.

A few moments later, St. Peter, who was expecting an easy day, found himself faced with 50 newly deceased and quite...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was making an apple pie and realised I was missing an important ingredient. [long]

I got a rather verbose birthday card some time back containing a story - this is my retelling of it:

I was making an apple pie and realised I was missing an important ingredient.

Unfortunately, I was up to my elbows in sticky mixture and didn't really want to have to go through the faf...

So I was driving Uber tonight...

So I was driving Uber tonight and I picked up a girl from the dorms at UNCC. She sat in the front and we were chatting when suddenly she sneezed....

Now. I didn't realize it while talking, but she had a glass eye, and when she sneezed her glass eye came flying out at me. I caught it, handed i...

One day co-workers Alice and Bob were talking over the water cooler. Soon the conversation turned to Alice's husband Walter and his plans for the future.

"He's up for a promotion, but he's kinda screwed. He'd be moving up from the mail room to a position with some management responsibilities, but he never actually graduated college and that's usually a requirement. They like him though, so there's just one course he has to take and get a good grade i...

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