Chairs Jokes

... someday we'll have two chairs."

(Disclaimer: I believe this is OC because I heard it in Cantonese and I've translated it, so also, apologies for bad English)

A burglar breaks into a home and holds the husband and wife in it hostage. At gunpoint, he forces the two to sit on chairs facing the opposite way, back to each other,... read more

One of them says, "I had a business but it burned to the ground. With the insurance money I was able to retire here."

Another said, "Well that's a coincidence. I had a business that had a gas leak and blew up and the insurance money allowed me to retire here."

The third guy said, "You'... read more

A chairity.

A rocking chair.

Patty O'Furniture

Two Priests decided to go to Thailand on vacation.

They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as Priests.

For once, they’d enjoy a vacation as regular people.

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought ... read more

And a table... and chairs... and people

Game of Thrones

Because they don’t sit well in my stomach.

Stand up for yourself!

I’ve told him never to accept suites from strangers

One turns to the other and asks “Have you read Marx?” The second replies “yes, it’s these damn wicker chairs!”

would it be Game of Thrones?

Wife is impressed

I need to borrow some chairs

...they go against everything I stand for.

Paddy O’Furniture.

One was a homeless chair living on the side of the street, the other was a rich chair strolling on by.
Upon seeing the poor chair, the rich chair goes to the poor chair and offers some money.
The poor chair refuses, saying
"I dont accept humanity."

I said no because my mother always told me not to accept suites from strangers.

Nothing, because chairs don't speak.


(When I created this joke I laughed at it for a week)

we'd have squat.

It was a very charitable act.

His name is Paddy O'Furniture

Pew pews.

A whole lot of bulls sit.

The last one to sit on it wins.

They are both designed to provide comfort, both are expensive and most importantly the user always gets carried :)

His name was Paddy O’Furniture

They sit at a desk and do nothing all day.

An attractive female photographer came to the retirement home to take the brothers' picture. "I'm going to take your picture," she said.

"What did she say?" asked Ted. "She says she's going to take our picture," replied George. So George and Ted followed the photographer to a room.

Ins... read more

Because everyone is left leaning.

It was a Chairity