This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

An new, environmentally-conscious farmer starts using manure in place of fertilizer on his crops.

He gets the manure from his own cows, and within weeks notices a significant change with his wheat and other grains. They begin to flourish like he's never seen before, and he quickly begins heavily using this alternative method. The blossoming crops attract the attention of a agriculture company ne...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Whats similar between a hurricane and women?

They come in hot and wet and leave with **THE LAWN CHAIRS WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARA YOU BITCH!**

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I can never get anything right. Yesterday I attempted suicide.

My wife left for work. I went into the garage, sealed the windows and doors.
Started my car, let it run.
I sat in my lawn chair and closed my eyes. After eight hours, nothing. I felt the same. I was soo pissed off I shut of my Tesla and went back inside.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Heaven is getting full

Heaven is getting full and god and the devil make an agreement, the dead have to ask a question and if the devil can answer correctly they go to hell but if he answers incorrectly they can go in. One day a scientist a mathmatition abd a hill billy all die so the devil tells them the rules and the sc...

Indian who remembers everything

A man was driving on his way to a business meeting amd had free time. He seen a billboard that said "Indian who remembers everything. Take next right."

The man decides to a pulls up. He sees and old Indian man sitting in front of a camper in a lawn chair. He walks up to him "how" and raises h...

An American, German and Russian go swimming

An American, German and Russian go swimming, the Russian gets ready to jump in but the American stops him and says

"Careful i put in a chlorine tablet not long ago, you might want to wait"

The Russian responds with "Ill be fine, a little chlorine never hurt anyone"

The German ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Wife mowing the lawn

One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.

The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung!"

I took a drink from my bottle of beer, wiped the cold foam from ...

What's Intelligence?

Joe and his buddy Jim are digging a ditch, while their foreman sits on a lawn chair in the shade, drinking lemonade. It's a hot day, and Joe starts wondering why the foreman isn't doing any of the work. "Hey Jim?" he asks. "How come we're down here digging the ditch, and the boss is up there, drinki...

Senior Driver

My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn. He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.
He said with excitement, "you appear quite elderly to be dri...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The UFO landed in the trailer park...

...in front of Mr. and Mrs. Willfart, relaxing in their lawn chairs. They all started talking about their cultural differences etc. until they came to sex. Offering to swap "wives", the woman was lead off by the male alien. After starting, the alien asked "Is it good?". Mrs. Willfart replies "I ...

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