A cop see's a suspicious teenager driving erratically,and pulls him over

The policeman notices the drivers red eyes, and the smell of cannabis on his breath, so asks him if he's been smoking pot

The teenager says "Yeah, but I've got a prescription for it"

"What's the prescription for? inquires the officer

"Anxiety, but I only get it when a cop pulls ...

With cannabis being legal for over a year in canada, every province has access to weed except Quebec.

They only get oui'd

Why did the cattle rancher give up his small cannabis farm?

The steaks were getting too high.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

**"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]

The Quoran is like cannabis.

If you burn it, you get stoned

When Obi-Wan retired, he bought an island, he got married, he built a house, and most importantly, he started growing cannabis.

He now had a high ground.

Even the best farmers or engineers failed to develop a brand of cannabis-fed beef meat

The steaks were too high

A Centrist, Leftist, and Rightist Walk into a bar

The Bartender Says "Blue Moon or Red Wine?"

"Blue Moon" says the leftist.

"Red Wine" says the rightist.

"Red Wine with cannabis oil" says the Centrist.

I'm thinking of leaving the rat race and becoming a cannabis farmer.

It's a kushy job.

Scientists have been studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds

They’ve left no tern unstoned

CANADIAN ANTHEM

The Canadians are considering changing the name of their national anthem to 'O Cannabis'

With cannabis now legal in my country, we would be remiss not to discuss the negative impacts of smoking weed. For example, after smoking...

...you have less weed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Love to smoke cannabis but I need to quit, it makes me constipated. So I guess I either...

...shit or get off the pot.

I once knew a rapper who used cannabis infused citrus as chewing tobacco

He spat some dope limes

A herd of cattle got into a cannabis farm and began to graze...

When asked how serious the situation was, the owner responded, "the steaks have never been higher!"

What do you call it when a Cambodian dictator opens up a restaurant in his Cannabis plantation?

Pol Pot's Pot Plot Hot Pot.

Why did the cows have to flee the farm's cannabis field?

Because the steaks were high when the pigs rolled in...

If a courtroom's flora was only cannabis plants

Would that make it a high court?

In a historic day for Canada, Ontario held a Provincial Election on the same day the Senate passed the Cannabis Legalization Act.

Turnout was high.

Why is cannabis sometimes called Arabian Crime?

It gets you stoned

I thought I was in heaven when I happened upon a shack in the middle of the desert. It had a sign that read, 'Cannabis Hut, get baked for free!'

Apparently, cannibals can't spell very well.

It's pretty strange, doctors are now prescribing cannabis for arthritis sufferers...

I mean, the definition of arthritis is "inflammation of the joints"

Deer Hunter

A hunter was stalking a deer on the ridge across from him when he noticed the deer was somewhat wobbly and seemed to be squinting. Looking carefully through his rifle scope, he soon realized that the big buck was standing in the middle of a patch of marijuana, happily chewing away. Taking careful ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones going through Heathrow Airport gets pulled aside by the Immigration officer...

"Mr Jagger, have you any illegal substances in your possession currently? Purple Hearts? Acid? Cannabis?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"You got here half an hour before the fucking plane!"

As a muslim, I don't get why cannabis is so popular

I mean, why do you want to get stoned?

A lizard was walking through the jungle...

...and he comes across a monkey sitting in a tree, smoking a joint. The lizard, being curious, asks the monkey what he was smoking. The monkey replies that he's smoking weed and the Lizard asks if he could try some as he's never had it before. The monkey allows it. After a few tokes, the Lizard beco...

A cop stopped a man smoking cannabis while driving

The officer asked "how high are you?"
The man replied "no officer, its hi how are you"

Helping your neighbour South African Style

Hello, is this the South African Police?”
“Eish-Yes. What you want?”
“I’m calling to report my neighbour, Hendrik van der Merwe! He is hiding dagga (Cannabis) inside his firewood.”
“Eeeh-Yes…Thank you for your co-operasheen and informasheen in combating crime and violence, in our society su...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An officer was fired for smoking cannabis and masturbating on the job.

No name was given but he was a high wanking officer.

BREAKING: Police are trying to rescue a cow lost in a cannabis field.

The steaks have never been higher.

What do you call a potato that's high?

[A baked potato.](http://www.spudstravels.com/Travel%20Archive/Caribbean/Jamaica_images/Cannabis%20-%20close.jpg)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A koala and a lizard smoke a joint in a tree

After they finish the joint, they both are feeling pretty lit. The lizard says "man, my cottonmouth is out of control, I need to go get a drink". He leaves to go get a drink. An alligator walks by smells the sweet scent of cannabis still lingering in the air. He sees koala up in a tree, but before h...

I was carefully measuring out a dab of Cannabis extract for my roommate, when she said,

"Did you remember to-- Oh, nevermind; you're concentrating."

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