Scientists have been studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds…

They’ve left no tern unstoned…

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the Bible correctly:

**"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]

Groundbreaking new studies reveal that cannabis can be used to treat both erectile dysfunction in men and infertility in women.

Humanity can now reproduce by budding.

With cannabis being legal for over a year in canada, every province has access to weed except Quebec.

They only get oui'd

Apparently smoking cannabis can affect your short term memory

Well if that’s true, what do you think smoking cannabis does?

Why did the cattle rancher give up his small cannabis farm?

The steaks were getting too high.

Have you heard about the cannabis-infused tea for marsupials?

It’s high Koala tea

I invested all of my money on cannabis infused beef.

The steaks are high

When Obi-Wan retired, he bought an island, he got married, he built a house, and most importantly, he started growing cannabis.

He now had a high ground.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just beyond the Gates of Hell, an alcoholic, a womanizer, and a stoner find themselves standing in front of three identical doors.

Just beyond the Gates of Hell, an alcoholic, a womanizer, and a stoner find themselves standing in front of three identical doors. There to greet them is none other than Satan, who tells them a secret method to getting into Heaven: Each man must spend 1,000 years in a room with their greatest vice. ...

The Quoran is like cannabis.

If you burn it, you get stoned

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Love to smoke cannabis but I need to quit, it makes me constipated. So I guess I either...

...shit or get off the pot.

A herd of cattle got into a cannabis farm and began to graze...

When asked how serious the situation was, the owner responded, "the steaks have never been higher!"

I'm thinking of leaving the rat race and becoming a cannabis farmer.

It's a kushy job.

With cannabis now legal in my country, we would be remiss not to discuss the negative impacts of smoking weed. For example, after smoking...

...you have less weed.

Even the best farmers or engineers failed to develop a brand of cannabis-fed beef meat

The steaks were too high

Why did the cows have to flee the farm's cannabis field?

Because the steaks were high when the pigs rolled in...

What do you call it when a Cambodian dictator opens up a restaurant in his Cannabis plantation?

Pol Pot's Pot Plot Hot Pot.

I once knew a rapper who used cannabis infused citrus as chewing tobacco

He spat some dope limes

Tomorrow's weather forecast for Canada is in, just in time for cannabis legalization

It's going to be cloudy with a chance of Doritos.

A cop see's a suspicious teenager driving erratically,and pulls him over

The policeman notices the drivers red eyes, and the smell of cannabis on his breath, so asks him if he's been smoking pot

The teenager says "Yeah, but I've got a prescription for it"

"What's the prescription for? inquires the officer

"Anxiety, but I only get it when a cop pulls ...

It's pretty strange, doctors are now prescribing cannabis for arthritis sufferers...

I mean, the definition of arthritis is "inflammation of the joints"

In a historic day for Canada, Ontario held a Provincial Election on the same day the Senate passed the Cannabis Legalization Act.

Turnout was high.

Why is cannabis sometimes called Arabian Crime?

It gets you stoned

I thought I was in heaven when I happened upon a shack in the middle of the desert. It had a sign that read, 'Cannabis Hut, get baked for free!'

Apparently, cannibals can't spell very well.

A cop stopped a man smoking cannabis while driving

The officer asked "how high are you?"
The man replied "no officer, its hi how are you"

As a muslim, I don't get why cannabis is so popular

I mean, why do you want to get stoned?

A lizard was walking through the jungle...

...and he comes across a monkey sitting in a tree, smoking a joint. The lizard, being curious, asks the monkey what he was smoking. The monkey replies that he's smoking weed and the Lizard asks if he could try some as he's never had it before. The monkey allows it. After a few tokes, the Lizard beco...

A Centrist, Leftist, and Rightist Walk into a bar

The Bartender Says "Blue Moon or Red Wine?"

"Blue Moon" says the leftist.

"Red Wine" says the rightist.

"Red Wine with cannabis oil" says the Centrist.

Two friends decide to start up a business together.

The first man, Carl, had years of experience in the production of liquor, and so he wanted to start a distillery. The second man, Adam, had years of experience in marijuana cultivation but had been clean for years and would not go near recreational cannabis, and so he wanted to start up a processing...

Deer Hunter

A hunter was stalking a deer on the ridge across from him when he noticed the deer was somewhat wobbly and seemed to be squinting. Looking carefully through his rifle scope, he soon realized that the big buck was standing in the middle of a patch of marijuana, happily chewing away. Taking careful ...

Helping your neighbour South African Style

Hello, is this the South African Police?”
“Eish-Yes. What you want?”
“I’m calling to report my neighbour, Hendrik van der Merwe! He is hiding dagga (Cannabis) inside his firewood.”
“Eeeh-Yes…Thank you for your co-operasheen and informasheen in combating crime and violence, in our society su...

What do you call a potato that's high?

[A baked potato.](http://www.spudstravels.com/Travel%20Archive/Caribbean/Jamaica_images/Cannabis%20-%20close.jpg)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones going through Heathrow Airport gets pulled aside by the Immigration officer...

"Mr Jagger, have you any illegal substances in your possession currently? Purple Hearts? Acid? Cannabis?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"You got here half an hour before the fucking plane!"

I was carefully measuring out a dab of Cannabis extract for my roommate, when she said,

"Did you remember to-- Oh, nevermind; you're concentrating."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A koala and a lizard smoke a joint in a tree

After they finish the joint, they both are feeling pretty lit. The lizard says "man, my cottonmouth is out of control, I need to go get a drink". He leaves to go get a drink. An alligator walks by smells the sweet scent of cannabis still lingering in the air. He sees koala up in a tree, but before h...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.