Doctor, doctor . . . All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!

**Doctor:** " Sounds like a really bad case of *parking sons disease* "

Why did the valet hate being in an alternate universe?

Because it was all parallel parking!

It’s Sadder in Italy

“Doctore, all five of my bambinos! They have the no ambition! They all want to be valets when they grows up, jus’ like their lazy father! Can you do anything?”


“I’m afraid it is hopeless, Senora Abatangelo. It is the worst case of parking son’s disease I have ever seen.”

What do you call your friendly neighborhood valet?

Peter Parker.

I hated working as a valet at the anti-vaxxer convention.

all i got was bunch of measly tips!

A dad drives his Honda to the casino

The Valet says, “Good evening Sir, we’ll take it from here.”
To which the man replies, “No thanks, I’ll do it on my own Accord.”

What did the old man say when he shook his fist at his kids who were valets?

Goddamn parkin' sons!

The boys got hired at their dad's valet business.

Now he has parkinsons.

A snail goes up to the valet and hands him his ticket

"What kind of car is it, sir?" the valet asks.

"It's got a big S on it, can't miss it."

Sure enough, the valet finds the one with a big S on it and drives it back. The snail gets in and peels off faster than any car the valet had ever seen.

The valet says to his buddy, "Man, lo...

You gotta hand it to the valet...

How else are you gonna get your car back?

I've just got my own valet and found people treat you completely differently.

He's opened a lot of doors for me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Panda

A panda pulls up to the valet at a nice restaurant, drops his car off, and goes inside. The panda is seated at a table and orders. He calmly eats, pulls out an AK-47 and shoots everyone in the restaurant. He walks outside and gives the valet his ticket. The valet, scared to death, reaches out with a...

I went to go see the newly established Van Gogh exhibit last night

When I arrived, the valet promptly asked me if they could park my minivan. Without hesitation I got my family out of the car and handed him my keys. As I entered the building I heard a loud screeching behind me, followed by a man yelling "Wow! Look at that van go!!". I was not as impressed as he was...

What's the most dangerous job in Northern Ireland?

Valet.

Customary tipping rules

For food and beverage service individuals, it’s customary to tip 18% of the bill.

For valet drivers, a fiver.

For singers, a tenor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scam alert! Men beware

During the recent hot weather here in the UK we have had a couple of young women operating a scam at our local supermarket. They offer a while-you-wait car valeting service - you just drive in and while you sit there, one of them washes the outside of the car while the other vacuums the inside. They...

After a long day of travelling, a husband and wife decide to stay in the nearest hotel.

They go straight to bed and are almost immediately sound asleep. The next morning, they wake up and ask for their bill.

"That'll be $300 each," said the manager.

"WHAT?! Why so expensive?!" demanded the husband, outraged.

"Well, there was the car valet, the swimming pool, the sa...

Two men and two women are on a train.

There is a mother and daughter on their way to have a holiday, and there is an old general and his valet, a young sergeant. The train goes through a tunnel, and everything is dark. There is a *mwsshk!* and a *smack!* and the train leaves the tunnel.

The mother thinks, "that young man stole a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man isn't happy with the size of his... [long]

John has a date planned with a very attractive young lady in a few weeks, and he's a bit nervous.

You see, John is a fairly successful single man. He's got good looks, money, a luxurious loft apartment, and a convertible sports car. You can be sure that all of the ladies want him, but of all...

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