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Butcher's Jokes

The butcher

Once there was a man in a small town who decided that he wanted to be a butcher, so he bought a small store and started his own butcher shop. It was a very modest store, consisting of only a couple display cabinets, a meat grinder, and a few shelves in the refrigerator. This man quickly became known...

I heard of an armless man that applied for a job at the butcher's

They fired him because he couldn't hack it.

I went to the butcher's shop...

I went to the butcher's shop around the block from my house to get some ribeyes for the long weekend. I'm excited because I don't eat steak very often and these are dry aged to perfection, cut an inch and half thick and pretty much the best steaks you can get! I'm all set to leave, when I notice a ...

A robber was preparing to break into a butcher's to steal meat.

He decided not to in the end, as the stakes were too high.

My neighbor failed the entrance exam for butcher's school.

He didn't make the cut.

An American, a Pole and an Israeli arrive at the butcher's shop

There's a notice on the door:

# Shortage today, no meat, sorry

The American: What's 'shortage' ?

The Pole: What's 'meat' ?

The Israeli: What's 'sorry' ?

Did you hear the one about the Butcher's pet pig?

It didn't make the cut.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man enters a butcher's shop

The man wants to buy some spread sausage: "Good morning, can I get some from the coarse and thick one, please?"

Butcher: "I'm sorry, but she's at trade school today."

The butcher's wife always messes up everyone's order.

We call her Miss Steak.

I went to a new butcher's today with my wife...

And the butcher propositioned me: "If you can grab all the meat off the top shelf in 10 seconds, you'll get it all for free! However if you fail, I get to spend the night with your wife!"

I looked at the meat and I thought about it for a moment then replied: "I'd like to try but I just can't....

Let me introduce you to the butcher's wife

Meet Patty.

A man goes into a butcher's shop

and says "I bet you 50 bucks you can't hand me the ribeye from the top shelf."

The butcher says: "I can't take that bet, the steaks are too high."

I made a clock. The big hand is a butcher's knife, the small hand is a paring knife, and the clock face is a sharpening stone.

There's never a dull moment.

What did the cow say after hearing butcher's joke?

You are killin' me man!

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