Incompetent Jokes

...how incompetent I am as an electrician.

He can’t do anything without supervision.

He slipped and got the sack.

Edit: Wow, this blew up

Dave the young novice Zoo keeper is on his first day of work. He is in the aquatic room, changing a fluorescent tube. One end drops in the tropical fish tank and it instantly electrocutes all the fish. They all float to the surface. He knows if the boss spots this, he'll be instantly fired. He takes... read more

Tele-pathetic

He keeps soiling himself

"Thank you for your patients... but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to transfer you."

Suicide bomber

She didn't suit me.

They said I was borderline incompetent.

Defective Inspector.

Hans is literally the wurst.

One shakes body parts and the other bakes shoddy tarts.

~~three~~ one

He's a Tor mentor.

I can't believe the Russian navy were so incompetent as to let a ship load of these just sink down here.

Anon: Sir, I have a clear shot at putin. How much will you pay me for successful elimination?

Zelensky: 1 million dollas for not killing putin.

The man shocked at the response, asks for a reason for this.

Zelensky: No way the next guy they put in is going to be this incompetent

They feel I'm borderline incompetent.

After running some tests due to some non specific symptoms, the doctor tell them, “well looks like you are going to be a grandma, your daughter is pregnant ma’am”

The mother is infuriated, insults the doctor telling him that her daughter “knows no man” and leaves the office fuming.

The... read more

Some say that he was the most incompetent captain in the Kriegsmarine

Food, music, and incompetent people who think they’re very good.

A crisis gripped the State.

"Mr. Politician! How do you intend to solve this crisis!"

"Honestly...? I don't know. This is a very complex situation, with so many moving parts that it's far beyond the understanding of any one person, or even a small group. I don't know what I'm going to ... read more

[Please excuse my bad english, I'm still an amateur]

An american man with a briefcase full of illegal drugs was walking through an busy crowd somewhere in Mumbai.

"Sweet! Imma sell this for thousands of dollars"

As he made his way through the crowd, he heard someone screaming, h... read more

They can spot land not far off. They try as hard as they can to use the oars, but they won't budge.


The wife has an idea, she calls her husband useless and incompetent. The husband retorts and a huge argument begins.


The boat inches slowly towards land. The more they argue and ... read more

Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.

Patient: I'll take the bad news first.

Doctor: I'm really sorry to have to tell you this but there was an error in your chart and I'm afraid we cut off the wrong leg.

Patient: WHAT THE HECK?!? That's not bad news. That's TERRIBLE news. Wh... read more

What do I have in common with an incompetent fry cook?

The dodgy, incompetent, unfit, slightly psychotic, rich, possibly criminal one who should 't even be in the race, wins.

There's a triangular lake, with three kingdoms on each side of the triangle.

The first kingdom is very rich, and the people are content. It has a very competent army, with a squire for every knight, and a total of twenty thousand knights. There is no hunger in the land.

The second kin... read more

The terrorists lock him in a windowless room with a chair, a table, and five items on the table. The terrorist comes in and says that each day, the man may pick one of the items to be removed. On the last day, the terrorists will kill him with the remaining item. The spy looks at the table to see a ... read more