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Breast Cancer Jokes

Yesterday, my wife told me she has breast cancer

“Honey,” she said, “there’s a couple things I need to get off my chest.”

I had breast cancer once...

Those were some bad mammaries.

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Science has found that honeybee venom helps kill aggressive breast cancer cells.

They've updated their name reflecting their new job to Boobees.

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What’s metal and has a dozen tits?

The bin out the back of the breast cancer clinic.

What did the blonde do when she learned 1 in 8 women will get breast cancer?

She decided to only hang out in groups of 7 or fewer.

My friend confided in me that she has breast cancer.

I asked her if she had anything else she wanted to get off her chest.

Every ten minutes someone somewhere is told they have breast cancer

They probably heard the first time. No need to keep rubbing it in.

My wife has just been diagnosed with breast cancer...

Doctor told us that mastectomy will be necessary.

Today, I went online to see if there is any alternative...

...

Emma, 28 years old, NY. Looks cute...

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Did you hear the one about the breast cancer survivor who got a tattoo??

It was a real tit for tat scenario.

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A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh.

He asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?”
“Yes,” she replied, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.”
“That is right,” said the doctor.
He then began to fondle her breasts.
“Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asked.
“Yes,” the woman said, “you’re checki...

Did you hear about the lady with breast cancer and amnesia?

She has mammary problems.

What do you call someone who's bad at screening for breast cancer?

A bad mammograma.

What do you call a female weed dealer that sells to breast cancer patients?

A Ma'am A' Gram

A punk rock themed breast cancer center just opened up

It's called Thnks fr th mammaries.

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[NSFW] Offensive as Fuck

What's big and blue and has 300 nipples?


The dumpster outside the breast cancer clinic.

I've read about an airport infra-red camera that detected breast cancer.

I guess we can't stress enough the importance of mass surveillance.

October is ADHD awareness month.

Appropriately enough it is also fire prevention month, breast cancer awareness month, the first couple of weeks are part of Hispanic heritage month and and some other things that I forgot.

Doctors have discovered that breast cancer may cause amnesia.

After all, mastectomy would result in mammary loss.

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A man who is into GILFs walks into a bar

He spots his perfect type, early 70s, still pretty fit and dressed inappropriately for her age. He sits down next to her and buys her a drink. One thing leads to another and they are at his house getting down and dirty. He sucks on her tits and a mouthful of creamy liquid comes out. He stops and ask...

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A woman gets off a bus with one boob out of her blouse...

She's updating her Facebook status simultaneously.
After a while a man asks the obvious question pointing at the glaring tit "Ma'am is this some form of treatment for breast cancer?"
The woman in sudden realization yells "Oh my God! my Baby".

A Joke I made up when I was 7 years old (It's politically incorrect)

Why did the lady tell her doctor she had breast cancer?

Because she wanted to get it off her chest.

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Doctor's bad day

There was this doctor working one day, everything was going by as usual. then this beautiful blonde girl shows up, the doctor was stunned by how hot she was, he had to get into her pants. "Ok, I like for you to take your shirt off" said the doctor, the girl does and the doctor starts rubbing her thi...

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Grandma and granddaughter

A grandma from a unnamed county was talking to her granddaughter about the insane progress made in the medicine field:

"When I was 20 years old the doctor, the head nurse, the doctor on duty, the emergency doctor, the paramedic and his asistant, the cleaning staff and even the doorman from th...

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A beautiful young girl goes into the doctors office (not a blonde joke)

The doctor has her get undressed. She is the most exquisite woman he's seen. He starts the examination.

He has her open her mouth. All he can think about is putting his penis in there for a blowjob. He starts to feel in her mouth.

Do you know what I'm doing? he asks. Yes, she replies,...

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Chocolate Milk

A man is sitting at a bar thinking aloud to himself, he says "man, I haven't sucked on a good tit in a while"

A man sitting down the bar replies "well you outta head upstairs bud, theres a woman up there with chocolate breastmilk"

The first man, not believing the seconds words heads up...

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A woman goes to the doctor...

The doctor tells her to get undressed and lie on the table. She gets up there and put her feet in the stirrups.
The doctor starts playing with her titties and the doctor asked, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
She says, "Yeah, you're checking me for breast cancer."
He says, "Yep!" and continue...

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A beautiful woman comes to see the doctor...

and the doctor´s jaw drops. He has never seen anyone so beautiful. The woman was a hot latino chick and the doctor got an idea.

"I am sorry, but I think we need to do some tests. So, take off your shirt, please."

The doctor starts to squeeze the woman´s breasts, and asks:

"Do y...

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