This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife got diagnosed with breast cancer

I told her it couldn't be that bad and she lost her tits.

My wife has just been diagnosed with breast cancer...

Doctor told us that mastectomy will be necessary.

Today, I went online to see if there is any alternative...

...

Emma, 28 years old, NY. Looks cute...

Why do Breast Cancer survivors not like to talk about their treatment of the cancer?

It brings them bad mammaries.

Every ten minutes someone somewhere is told they have breast cancer

They probably heard the first time. No need to keep rubbing it in.

Yesterday, my wife told me she has breast cancer

“Honey,” she said, “there’s a couple things I need to get off my chest.”

Did you hear about the lady with breast cancer and amnesia?

She has mammary problems.

What do you call a female weed dealer that sells to breast cancer patients?

A Ma'am A' Gram

Breast cancer awareness has pink ribbons, but what does alcoholism awareness have?

Bruises.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Strip club and a Tattoo parlor teamed up to spread awareness about breast cancer

They call it the Tit for Tat model.

What do you call someone who's bad at screening for breast cancer?

A bad mammograma.

Doctors have discovered that breast cancer may cause amnesia.

After all, mastectomy would result in mammary loss.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist

The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress.

After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"

"Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any ab...

A CEO was asked to give money to a charity

A worker at a charity organization went to a CEO's office to ask for a donation.

He Said: "Sir I don't mean to bother you, but I've noticed that you haven't given any money to our charity, you seem pretty well off and we were wondering if you would be willing to donate."

The CEO said: ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A beautiful young girl goes into the doctors office (not a blonde joke)

The doctor has her get undressed. She is the most exquisite woman he's seen. He starts the examination.

He has her open her mouth. All he can think about is putting his penis in there for a blowjob. He starts to feel in her mouth.

Do you know what I'm doing? he asks. Yes, she replies,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man who is into GILFs walks into a bar

He spots his perfect type, early 70s, still pretty fit and dressed inappropriately for her age. He sits down next to her and buys her a drink. One thing leads to another and they are at his house getting down and dirty. He sucks on her tits and a mouthful of creamy liquid comes out. He stops and ask...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What has 300 legs and 16 boobs?

The breast cancer awareness 10K run

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Grandma and granddaughter

A grandma from a unnamed county was talking to her granddaughter about the insane progress made in the medicine field:

"When I was 20 years old the doctor, the head nurse, the doctor on duty, the emergency doctor, the paramedic and his asistant, the cleaning staff and even the doorman from th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor's bad day

There was this doctor working one day, everything was going by as usual. then this beautiful blonde girl shows up, the doctor was stunned by how hot she was, he had to get into her pants. "Ok, I like for you to take your shirt off" said the doctor, the girl does and the doctor starts rubbing her thi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chocolate Milk

A man is sitting at a bar thinking aloud to himself, he says "man, I haven't sucked on a good tit in a while"

A man sitting down the bar replies "well you outta head upstairs bud, theres a woman up there with chocolate breastmilk"

The first man, not believing the seconds words heads up...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman gets off a bus with one boob out of her blouse...

She's updating her Facebook status simultaneously.
After a while a man asks the obvious question pointing at the glaring tit "Ma'am is this some form of treatment for breast cancer?"
The woman in sudden realization yells "Oh my God! my Baby".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman goes to the doctor...

The doctor tells her to get undressed and lie on the table. She gets up there and put her feet in the stirrups.
The doctor starts playing with her titties and the doctor asked, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
She says, "Yeah, you're checking me for breast cancer."
He says, "Yep!" and continue...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Offensive as Fuck

What's big and blue and has 300 nipples?


The dumpster outside the breast cancer clinic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A beautiful woman comes to see the doctor...

and the doctor´s jaw drops. He has never seen anyone so beautiful. The woman was a hot latino chick and the doctor got an idea.

"I am sorry, but I think we need to do some tests. So, take off your shirt, please."

The doctor starts to squeeze the woman´s breasts, and asks:

"Do y...

Topical Jokes for 9/5/14

(for best results, imagine these being read by your favorite late night host)

In Oregon, a veterinarian discovered 43 socks in a Great Dane’s stomach. The dog was taken to the vet when the owner wanted to find out why his sock drawer was growling.

To ward off evil spirits, a woman in I...

A Joke I made up when I was 7 years old (It's politically incorrect)

Why did the lady tell her doctor she had breast cancer?

Because she wanted to get it off her chest.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.