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Board Meeting Jokes

Jack was deeply involved in finishing a report for the upcoming board meeting received a call from his wife that she had a good news and a bad news.

Because of the deadline he asked if she could just give him the good news. The wife replied "Okay, the good news is that the air bags work."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rags To Riches Success Story

A real touching success story! 

Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoe shine.  He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine. 

One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do...

If surfers come together...

Is that considered a board meeting?

My go-to accounting joke

(Acknowledgement: This joke came from the Drew Carey show. I don't remember specifically which episode. I don't even know why I was watching it.)

The owners of a micro-brewery are sitting around a table having their monthly board meeting.

The accountant stands up and says "So, let's ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Henry Kissinger was once asked to explain what shuttle diplomacy was.

– Oh! It is a never-failing old Jewish method. Let me give you an example. Suppose you want to marry Rockefeller’s daughter to a lad from a Siberian village.
– How would you do that?
– Easy. I go to a Siberian village, find there a young man and ask him, “Would you like to marry an American Je...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One ticket to Boobston

The year is 1993 a young upstart business executive has to take a quick trip to Boston for a board meeting.

Running late he didn't have time to have his administrative assistant call ahead and book his flight, so he decided just to do it himself once he got to the airport.

After being ...

Goodnight Mom, goodnight dad.

A father was tucking his youngest daughter to bed one night after he finished reading her daily bedtime story. Just as he finally kissed her on the forehead, she said - "Goodnight Mom, goodnight Dad, goodbye forever Grandpappy"

The father was a little disturbed by the last part but shook it o...

An English businesswoman explained to her doctor that she was always breaking wind.

At board meetings, during interviews,in lifts and on trams -- it was impossible to control. "But at least I'm fortunate in two respects," she told her doctor. "They neither smell nor make a noise. In fact, you'll be surprised to know I've let two go since I've been talking to you."
The doctor rea...

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