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Delegation Jokes

An old Soviet joke

A Soviet delegation visits an American car factory.

"Whose factory is that?" asks a Soviet visitor.

"It belongs to capitalist billionaire Henry Ford," answers the American guide.

"And whose are the hundreds of cars in the parking lot?" asks the visitor.

"They belong to th...

Dr. Samuel Johnson, author of the first great dictionary of English language, was visited by a delegation of respectable ladies of London.

“Dr Johnson,” they said, “we congratulate you for omitting all indecent or obscene words from your dictionary.”

“Ladies,” said Dr. Johnson, “I congratulate you for looking them up.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Japanese government delegation visits Russia [USSR for oldtimers]

Russian officials give them tours around Moscow and show off the best they could to impress honorable guests. Whenever they ask guests how they like the streets, buildings, or "state-of-the-art" plants, guests give the same feedback smile, bow, and "You have wonderful children".

On the final ...

A UN delegation was flying across the Atlantic...

A Brit, a Frenchman, an American, and a Mexican are told by the pilot that they are too heavy and may crash.

They pop the hatch and toss out all the luggage, but they’re still too heavy.

They rip out the seats and toss them, but they’re still too heavy.

The Brit stands up and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Soviet Strip Club

In the seventies, Soviet party members decide on establishing the first strip club in Moscow


They plan out everything, yet somehow there's next to no income. After some discussion, they decide on inviting two American experts to inspect the place.

The Americans look around for a m...

I'm currently working on a management oriented book focused on the delegation of tasks

"I'll have my secretary let you know when my intern finishes writing it." - Mr. Manager


Cordially,

Mrs. Team Lead

Victory day

Soviet Union delegation announced they are coming to Helsinki. To commemorate the Victory Day, they asked to set flowers to the statue of the unknown soldier. Finnish officials complied, but started to panic: there is no statue of the unknown soldier in Helsinki!

After a bit a brainstorming, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joke from old Czechoslovakia, translated for you

I was a CEO of big company. I was driving corporate Tatra 613. Every morning, coffee was brewed by sexy secretary assistant. One day, they asked me to contribute 5000 crowns for the funeral of the member of Central Committee of the Communist Party. I said that for 5000 crowns I will burry the while ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Eastern Europe Loved the USSR

In 1970 a Soviet trade delegation visits Czechoslovakia. The delegation is met at the airport by the minister for trade, and as the minister and the leader of the delegation drive to the city in the minister’s Zil limousine, the minister points out a large bronze statue of Lenin just outside the air...

An old Chinese story

A village was terrorized by a demon. The demon attacked people, ate their livestock, trampled their fields, screamed when they tried to sleep, blew out their lights, pinched their babies, threw their dinners on the floor, broke bowls, intentionally sang off key, and was a real nuisance. The villager...

Once in a land far, far away there lived a group of people called Trids...

The Trids were happy except for the huge ogre that lived on the mountain. The ogre would periodically terrorize the Trids.

The Trids tired of the ogre and sought to reason with him. They thought one of their religious leaders would be a good intermediary. So a group of Trids and their ministe...

Interviewer: What is your biggest strength?

Me: You tell me...

Interviewer: delegation

Me: Exactly!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A car company walks into a bar...

Shirishito was a stoic man, for the most part, not prone to impulse or really any emotional sway. He'd climbed the corporate ladder at one of Japan's largest automakers one rung at a time, diligently.

Many of his cohort, when he was in the mail room, washed out after showing up late, drunk o...

America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars...

America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars as the country watched with pride. Iran, wanting to gain a technological/global edge, decided to show up America by announcing a manned mission to the sun the very next day. The Americans, along with other western allies, decided to meet with the Iranian...

A joke from the Soviet era.

Reagan is visiting the Soviet Union and arrives at the Ukrainian city of Odessa. Expecting a warm welcoming party by the people of the city, he is both shocked and offended that no one is greeting him at the city gates. The embarrassed Soviet officials scramble to find someone to fire the ceremonial...

American comes to Soviet Factory

Amrican delegation visits Soviet Factory. Soviet guide says to American visitors

- Soviet workers are so great, they will do anything we tell them

- [American] I don't believe it

- [Soviet guide] Watch

He lines up all workers in front of factory:

-tomorrow your pay...

A Plane Full of Americans, French and Cubans Crashes on an Island Full of Cannibals (Cuban Joke)

The cannibals quickly round everyone up and separate them by nationality.

First, they call forward the French. One of the Frenchmen tries to convince the cannibals that instead of cooking them they should try some delicious French cuisine instead. The cannibals let the French prepare a feast ...

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