This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A guy walks into a costume party wearing nothing buy a pair of blue jeans

The host comes up to him and asks, "What are you supposed to be?"

"I'm a premature ejaculation," he responds.

"I don't understand."

"Oh, I just came in my pants."

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

You go to a Halloween party wearing nothing but blue jeans. When someone asks you who you are, you reply, "I'm a premature ejaculator."

You see, I just came in my pants.

"Credit goes to some dudes post on something earlier, couldn't find it to give him credit. Thought it was too funny not to share."

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Bleach kills everything: mold, mildew, bacteria, black shirts, blue jeans...

But not the whites.

Fuckin white privilege...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Why People Hate School Re-Unions

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school.

ย They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in grey ...

Where is my wife

A young man and an old man bumped shopping carts at the grocery store.
Young man: I am sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. I was looking for my wife.
Old man : Sorry. I was also looking for my wife.
Young man: Well maybe we can look together. My wife is 24. She is 5'2". She h...

The Russian brothers hear the propaganda about Siberia...

how beautiful the weather is, how the shops are stocked with all necessities and luxuries, and prices are low.
Boris worries "Maybe they're just saying that to get people to move out there and work in the salt mines. How can we tell?"
Vladimir thinks a while, and comes up with an idea....

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Walmart scam

Yesterday I got scammed at a Walmart. I'll tell you how the scam works so you can avoid it.


When you get out of the shop, two sexy 20 years old girls dressed with very short blue jeans and tight t-shirts will be washing your car. They're very hot, you can't avoid admiring them. When you g...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A guy searches for his wife at the supermarket..

A guy went to the supermarket w/ his wife, after a few minutes by the beverages section he realises his wife is missing. He then asks a guy (one that seems to be searching for someone too) near him:

- Husband: Hey dude, have you seen my wife?

- Stranger: Hey, I'm also looking for mine!...

Boy or Girl

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

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