The medical code of ethics is way too strict. Apparently, I’m not allowed to marry a patient even if we’re in a consensual relationship.

I’m really starting to hate being a veterinarian.

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What do you call some almonds having consensual sex?

Fucking nuts!

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A Banana walks into a bar

He sits down and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender brings the banana his beverage and the banana begins to drink the beverage. Then a beautiful cucumber enters the bar and sits by the banana. The banana is quite taken by the cucumber. He asks if she’d like to go with him to the bathroom fo...

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So I was trying to get some solid advice on consensual sex from a police officer.

Apparently 9/10 police officers stated that if you can't say no, it means yes.

The clorophorm didn't work on the tenth officer.

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You're welcome!

Once upon a time, there was a particularly intelligent sperm cell living inside a particularly large blue whale. From the time it was created, the sperm cell studied diligently and learned a great many things. It read the full text of Wikipedia. It learned languages, history, science. It learned the...

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I got into a discussion with my coworker today about surnames. How they originated from what people were known for. Smith, shoemaker, etc.

Well my great great great great great great grandfather's name was Horace P. Horsefucker.
He got a bad rap. It was consensual...though the horse said neigh.

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I dated a ventriloquist when I was 12.

It was consensual. For a 40 year old, that guy knew what the good candy was. Only problem was, he was a real bullshitter. Always talking out my ass.

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What's the difference between pudding pops and bill Cosbys dick?

It's consensual when people eat pudding pops.

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What kind of sex has Bill O'Reilly never had? [nsfw]

Consensual

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Can we applaud David Spade for not having any allegations of sexual advances?

Consensual ones included.

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I thought I was watching 50 shades of Grey

But I realised it was just a porno. I could tell the difference because they were having consensual sex.

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