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Nudity Jokes

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A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the church was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little talk at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited

“I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had s...

A woman is taking a shower when she hears a knock at the door...

She throws on a towel and goes to answer it. Outside is her next door neighbor, taken aback by her near-nudity. He says, "wow, I never realized how beautiful you were under all of that clothing! I'll pay you $800 right now to drop that towel!" Dripping wet, the woman scans the hallway. With no one i...

There's so much nudity on TV these days, it makes me so angry.

I just sit there, shaking my fist.

How did the zookeepers deal with reports of nudity in an enclosure?

They addressed the elephant in the room

Don't obey public nudity laws

They're a government cover-up conspiracy.

Today, I shocked the hell out of the postman by opening the door completely naked.

I’m not sure what surprised him most: my nudity, or the fact that I know where he lives.

Some cop arrested me for public nudity the other day...

He was so clothes-minded

I saw an R-rated movie with no blood, no nudity and no profanity

It was a little overrated

4 people fighting to sit on the Throne. There's blood, there's guts, there's nudity.

Gonna have to face the facts.

I'm a terrible cook.

What do you call unpredictable nudity?

Erratica.

A joke from ancient Rome

Two men were drinking ale in the market. The first man turned to the second and said "My friend, I have seen your wife's nudity."

The second man looks at the first, eyes wide, and says "I shall take a knife, and with it, I shall stab your eyes!"

And so the first said, "Thank you for th...

Warning: This movie may contain nudity.

Either it does or it doesn't, don't waste my time.

An Artist asks his model if she’s okay with nudity

Model-“Yes I am”
Artist- “Thank God! These pants were killing me!”

What's the best form of birth control after 50?

Nudity

I saw some nudity on TV last night...

I just sat there shaking my fist. I was furious.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the Pedophile's movie rated PG-13?

It only had minor nudity.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man from stockholm decieds to move away from the grinde of the big city and buys a house in northern sweden out in the middel of nowhere

After having bougth his house and get settled a local comes to his house and greats him
"Hi! im your closest neighbour and i wanna invite you to a welcoming party!"
The stockholmer is pleasnetly supprised and agrees
"Alrigth! ill see you tomorrow! but just so you know thiere is gonna ...

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We've seen a lot of nudity on Game of Thrones

I think tonight might be the first night we have ever seen a Dickon fire though

What happens when a role playing game has no nudity in it?

Ubisoft

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The naked runner

A couple of lovers were in the midst of action in bed when suddenly they heard a noise at the door. The woman panicked and said to her lover, 'My husband, my husband is here! Jump out of the window!'

Without thinking twice, the lover jumped naked out of the window and landed in some bushes. H...

What is the best contraceptive for old people?

Nudity

Why is it...

That when Miley Cyrus licks a hammer naked it's called 'Music' and 'Art', but when I do it, it's called 'Property Damage' and 'Nudity' and I get kicked out of Home Depot?

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A joke my friend told me.

So there's this guy and he just recently got married to the love his life, Wendy. Now he wants to profess his love to her in the most special and unique way ever. So he decides to get her name tattooed onto his dick. It is good to note that most of the time his dick reads just 'Wy' or 'Wey', ya know...

Yesterday, I had a flat tire on the Hwy coming home.

So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out and reached in the side compartment. I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so life like you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coat...

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My first time posting a joke here. I first heard this one as a teenager and I've been telling it for at least 35 years now. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. It's a long one, so be ready.

There once was a young, newlywed couple who just arrived in their honeymoon suite after a wonderful day spent celebrating their union with family and friends. The newlyweds, having both grown up in very sheltered homes, had no experience in the matters of sex and had pledged to one another to wait u...

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