Some cop arrested me for public nudity the other day...

He was so clothes-minded

An Artist asks his model if she’s okay with nudity

Model-“Yes I am”
Artist- “Thank God! These pants were killing me!”

Don't obey public nudity laws

They're a government cover-up conspiracy.

Today, I shocked the hell out of the postman by opening the door completely naked.

I’m not sure what surprised him most: my nudity, or the fact that I know where he lives.

There's so much nudity on TV these days, it makes me so angry.

I just sit there, shaking my fist.

A new Pirates of the Caribbean movie is like old people nudity at the public swimming pool.

You don't want to see it but you still end up seeing it anyway.

What do you call unpredictable nudity?

Erratica.

The next Pirates of the Caribbean movie is going to have more violence and nudity

It's going to be rated "Arrr..."

4 people fighting to sit on the Throne.

There's blood, there's guts, there's nudity.

Gonna have to face the facts.

I'm a terrible cook.

Warning: This movie may contain nudity.

Either it does or it doesn't, don't waste my time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We've seen a lot of nudity on Game of Thrones

I think tonight might be the first night we have ever seen a Dickon fire though

What happens when a role playing game has no nudity in it?

Ubisoft

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife and I are done with all this sex and nudity on the television.

It's just too hard to do it when we keep falling off.

What does the floor of my house and a girl with a partial nudity fetish have in common?

They both feel a lot wetter when Ive got socks on.

I saw some nudity on TV last night...

I just sat there shaking my fist. I was furious.

A woman is taking a shower when she hears a knock at the door...

She throws on a towel and goes to answer it. Outside is her next door neighbor, taken aback by her near-nudity. He says, "wow, I never realized how beautiful you were under all of that clothing! I'll pay you $800 right now to drop that towel!" Dripping wet, the woman scans the hallway. With no one i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest is being honored at his retirement dinner...

A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the
dinner.
However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words w...

What is the best contraceptive for old people?

Nudity

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was an evil queen...

This queen was a dreadful ruler, but it was primarily because, like superman, she was an extra terrestrial being practically immortal, and superior to the human race she conquered. She'd make continents(ignoring Antarctica) compete in building large sculptures of her and the last place sculpture wou...

Why is it...

That when Miley Cyrus licks a hammer naked it's called 'Music' and 'Art', but when I do it, it's called 'Property Damage' and 'Nudity' and I get kicked out of Home Depot?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke my friend told me.

So there's this guy and he just recently got married to the love his life, Wendy. Now he wants to profess his love to her in the most special and unique way ever. So he decides to get her name tattooed onto his dick. It is good to note that most of the time his dick reads just 'Wy' or 'Wey', ya know...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Funny and offensive

What's the best form of birth control after 50? Nudity

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes.

Why is it so hard to find men who are caring, kind, and good looking? Because those men alre...

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