Balloons Jokes

*POP* music

Tired of baby balloon creeping into their bed every night, "Tonight you must stay in your own bed" said mummy.

When he was sure his mummy and daddy were asleep baby balloon crept into their room and tried to squeeze into their bed.

But try as he might he just couldn't fit in, so he... read more

If you stab them, they die.

But cases continue to rise.

It’s a fight against inflation.

"Look out a cactusssssssssssssssss..."

It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.

It's only logical with all the inflation.

…I guess that’s inflation for ya.

Mummy, daddy and baby balloon. The time had come that baby balloon had grown so big he no longer fit between his mum and dad in bed so they decided it was best he slept alone in his own bed from there on out.

Bedtime comes and off baby balloon goes to be tucked in, only to still be awake an ... read more

There were 2 girls behind me who started laughing. I turned around and looked them straight in the eyes and said, "make that 52".
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Now both of them have condom balloons :D

I may have blew things out of proportion.

Each night the kid balloon would get nightmares and go into the parents bed when they were asleep. The daddy balloon constantly told the kid balloon not to do this as it was disrupting his sleep schedule. But as the kid got older and older he began not to fit. So one night he released some air from ... read more

They're really good when you get it down.

When the parents announce they are ready for bed, but the baby balloon is OK to stay up a little while longer. They head off to bed, and an hour later, baby balloon finishes his show, and goes to the bedroom.

As they are balloons and have no real sources of income, they live in a 1 bedroom a... read more

Inflation!

I’ll see myself out, unless this blows up.

Daddy balloon says to baby balloon:

"Look son, you are much to old to sleep with mummy and daddy, you will have to sleep in your own bed."

Baby balloon protests: "I like sleeping with you and mommy."

"No, you are not sleeping with us and that is final!" says daddy balloon. ... read more

Because they are afraid that the will get high and get busted

They don't come back

>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.**
**There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.** 
**Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.**
**Bands were playing; children were throwing confett... read more

Watch me Pop!

God damn inflation.

They think highly of us.

Because they are always blowing up.

Dad: Ummmm, you blow them up when your mom dies so that she can fly to heaven

Son: Oh ok

*THE NEXT DAY*

Son (on phone): Dad come home quick mom is dying!

Dad: Wait what happened?

Son: Uncle John is blowing her balloons!

They are taxing them to new heights!

They ended up with a massive inflation problem.

That's inflation for you.

Because of inflation!

Because they're afraid of getting high and getting busted

PS: Heard in a TV show and wanted to share the laughter to everyone in here.

There were no strings attached.

Because balloon prices are rising due to inflation.

Bloody inflation.

Edit: well did not expect this to blow up.

It must be because of inflation.

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, “Mom, what are those things on your chest?”
Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn’t forget. The following morning he asked his father the sa... read more

I guess they’re all early risers

Is that considered a blow-job?

You could much more easily control inflation.

I blame it on inflation. But on the positive side, sales are supposed to go up!

Whatever floats your boat I guess