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Blimp Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pilot, a captain, and a driver were all stuck in a blimp headed straight towards a city.

The pilot, wanting to save himself from crashing, says “let me steer this blimp off course and land us safely. As a pilot, I have years of experience controlling flying vehicles. A blimp surely can’t be much different from a plane.”

The captain then butted in and said “No, let me take the whe...

What's the difference between 365 condoms and a blimp?

One is a good year; the other is a GREAT year!

I saw a joke written on the side of a blimp

It went over my head.

What happens when you attach stew to a blimp?

Soup rise!

What do you call a blimp with lots of light-emitting diodes?

LED Zeppelin

How long does it take to get your blimp license?

A GoodYear or so

Does anyone know how much a blimp is worth?

I was going to google it, but I was worried it wouldn't account for inflation.

The other day a blimp told me he contained a perfect vacuum

I told him he was full of hot air

I wanted to have a blimp of my own

But it is so above my reach due to all the inflation!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Given that the US has now shot down three balloons (or suspected balloons) this week....

Whoever is flying the Goodyear blimp at the Super Bowl tonight had better have balls of steel.

A small passenger blimp is going down...

A small passenger blimp is going down and has no place to land safely. In attempt to keep to in the air long enough to land, its cargo is dumped.

The blimp is still going down, however, and through quick calculations it is realised that four average-weighted passengers would need to sacrifice...

The Superbowl ticket

A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realizes his seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium - he's closer to the Goodyear blimp than the field!


About halfway through the first quarter Bob...

Why did the rookie technician allow a German zeppelin to fly over Allied airspace?

It was just a blimp on the radar.

The weather is so bad today, it's raining cats and dogs

Maybe a PetSmart blimp wasn't such a good idea after all

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