Plants Jokes

Haven’t cows been doing that for like, forever?

Fission Chips

You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.

... if you haven't botany.

So they can have a light snack

A photo-synth-esizer

It causes the microphones to rust

Because they get paid just in exposure.

Because it gives them square roots!

They usually have a light lunch.

They always eat light.

“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”

Planties

They photosympathize

There is only text and no photos-ynthesis.

The number two reason is under watering.

...and another blonde immediately filling the hole back in with dirt. He watches as they move up the street doing this over and over again. The first blonde digs a hole, and the second one fills the dirt right back in. After a few minutes, he decides to ask them "excuse me, what are you ladies doing... read more

The guide noted that St. John's Wort is believed to be useful for mood, including anxiety and depression.

Older woman who keeps asking questions: "There seems to be a lot here, don't the deer eat it?"

Me: "If they did, they might jump in front of cars less."

The naturalist was a... read more

They soil themselves

Since they soiled themselves

Because they’re always rooting for themselves.

I guess my property line isn't where I thought it was.

But I like to plant kidneys

That is something i never herbivore!

He did it for shoots and googles.

I looked at him, puzzled, and said, “But, sir, it’s raining!”

He replied, “Then take an umbrella and water the plants.”

Because he's not a proper gator

Faceplants

He liked high steaks.

"After you are done watering the plants, we need to talk about what I saw on your phone".

It's been 4 days, and I'm still watering the plants.

The family tree.

One of them says:
"What did you have for lunch?"
The other says:
"Oh, just a light meal"

no. they say "i chlorofeel you man."

Totosynthesis

When I water them I use ice cubes.

To get root access.

A farmer wants to grow his plants in the winter. He believes that he can maintain the vegetables if they have enough room to grow deep roots, so he puts them in shower.
A month goes by, and no produce has popped up. The farmer realizes that some plants take 2 or 3 months to bloom.
A second mon... read more

Too bad they only make the oxygen we need to live.

Business hasn't been great, but we're making dew.

A phlebotanist

They're both Bee-Feeders.

I’m rooting for him

The steaks have never been higher.

Animals have a chance to escape

Thank god the court granted me joint custody

A: insta-pot