Guys, I just broke up an attempted murder...

But to be fair, those crows shouldn't have been gathering in the middle of the road

KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while she was there she went out to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. 

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back...

Surviving an attempted murder on April 1st.

Is just gods way of saying "April Fools"

I have survived an attempted murder

It was all going so well until the police came

I witnessed an attempted murder yesterday.

Luckily, only one crow showed up.

I saw an attempted Murder today.

Just 2 or 3 crows; not a full murder yet

Did you hear about the attempted murder?

Russel Crowe, Sheryl Crow and John Crow were all in a room together.

Three crows planned a meeting and only two of them showed up

They were charged for attempted murder

A crow was caught recently breaking quarantine laws.

They charged him with attempted murder.

My roommate got in trouble with the police because he had two crows in our apartment as pets.

The cops arrested him for attempted murder.

A crow was arrested an put behind bars.

His lawyer, a lawyer bird obviously, visited him.
"How bad is it?" The crow asked.

"Pretty bad." The lawyer bird replied. "They had a warrant to go through your phone."

"So what?" The crow said. "I've got nothing to hide."

"They found the texts to your friends." The lawyer b...

Shoot your shot they said. You'll be okay they said.

I got charged with attempted murder.

What do you call two crows on a branch?

Attempted murder.



What do you call a male human's response to this joke?

Man'slaughter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If abortions are illegal in 2 states

Sex without conception can become premeditated attempted murder.

A crow invited all his friends to come round to his house, but no-one showed up....

It was an attempted murder.

What is it called when you bid on a bunch of crow eggs on Ebay?

Attempted murder.

I watched a crow land on the line out front today

it was joined by five more in a few minutes. They sat cawing softly a bit, then flew off different directions.

I think I just saw an attempted murder.

So a crow sits alone in a park...

A single crow sits alone on one of the many benches in the park. Suddenly a second crow comes along and lands next to the one crow. The two crows exchange a mild conversation until they spot a third crow flying overhead. Suddenly they begin to yell at the other crow until it too lands on the bench, ...

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